How can you tell if he or she is lying? Listening to the words.

In further media interviews the governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, uses a technique I now call the 'redefining tactic' (after former president Clinton's famous, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman.") Governor Sanford says he "crossed lines" with a handful of women other than his mistress. He says he "never crossed the ultimate line" with anyone but Maria Belen Chapur. During an emotional interview with the Associated Press at his statehouse office on Tuesday Sanford said that during the encounters with other women he "let his guard down" with some physical contact but "didn't cross the sex line." Sanford said the casual encounters happened on trips he'd taken outside the US with male friends to "blow off steam". He alleges they occurred while he was married but before he met Chapur. So to be clear--it doesn't count as sex if you don't cross the sex line and you are just blowing off steam. UCkkk!
As a media coach, I know the importance of using the right words. In this case he is choosing phrases that make him sound like a college frat boy. This is such a horrible story for his family to have to hear about. Please just apologize clearly and briefly and move on.

Click Here to read the AP article about Governor Sanford's apology.
For information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site.

Youtube a way of sharing stories

We computer users are spending, "...fifty percent more time watching online video now than we did a year ago," according to the latest monthly metrics from the Nielsen Online Video Census. Fascinating. Moreover, I think so much of it is voyeuristic. We want to watch real people doing crazy, funny things. We used to share stories about what uncle Matt did at the last family gathering, now we email each other the YouTube video of a 4-year-old painting or Susan Boyle singing. We are sharing moving images in the same way we used to use verbal story telling. Very interesting. Someone else is doing the story telling but the need to share the story is the same.
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Patti offers programs for college students

Some of you don't know that I give programs to college students at colleges and universities around the country. Here are some of the topics I address:

How to Create a Positive First Impression
What cues do you need to focus on to look good to a recruiter or interviewer?

How to Handle Greetings and Introductions
What moves guarantee you look and feel confident?

How to Dress Right for Every Occasion
How should you dress so you look cool, not uncomfortable or dorky?

How to Be Comfortable in Any Conversation
What should you say and how should you say it so you can feel at ease and make others feel comfortable and ensure a good start for forming key relationships?

How to Prepare for the Job Fair or Follow up after an Job Fair or interview
How should you prepare? What should you expect? How should you follow up to maintain your contacts?

What words do liars use? Governor Sanford's apology

Just like body language cues leak out whether or not someone is lying, Freudian “slips” in language can reveal underlying anxiety, guilt, or arousal. Research from as far back as the Mehrabian (1971) has reported higher numbers of speech errors in deceivers than in non-deceivers. Linguistic style analysis reveals how the deceptive message is conveyed as compared to a truthful message (Pennebaker & King, 1999). Based on earlier work, some of the most reliable markers of linguistic styles are the use of content-free words, such as articles, pronouns, prepositions, auxiliary verbs, conjunctions, and emotionally toned words. See my last post for other specific examples.
So Gary Condit when talking about his wife and a stewardess he had an affair with used the pronouns she and her to refer to both woman rather than using their names or stating his personal relationship with them. Recently Governor Sanford used the term "those boys" instead of my sons or using the names or his sons during his apology, though he referred to his staff by name, by using such an impersonal label for his sons he idicated his desire to disconect from his responsiblity as a father. Govenor Sanford also never actually said, "I am sorry." Instead he asked for forgiveness which is something I have noticed politicians and celebrities often choose to do in their interviews with the press. As a body language expert and media coach I coach for my clients to use the words, "I am sorry." "I apologize." "I made a mistake." For the nonverbal read of Governor Sanford's apology, check last Friday's post. And for the slips of the tongue used by Michael Vick in his apology for hosting dog fights go to my website.

Slips of the Tongue or Freudian Slips Reveal Liars

You think that a liar has a great deal of control over the content of their story, but the style of language used to tell this story may contain clues to their underlying state of mind. The idea that our word choices can give away our underlying thoughts and feelings dates back to Freud (1901), who argued that speech mistakes, or parapraxes, “almost invariably [reveal] a disturbing influence of something outside of the intended speech” (p. 80). Freud recounts the case of a doctor visiting a wealthy patient who was suffering from a long illness. Despite outwardly claiming to have his patients’ interest in mind, the doctor remarked, “ . . . I hope you will not soon leave your bed” (p.88), revealing his underlying selfish desire to continue treating a wealthy patient. TFor

Information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia in the summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site. You can always contact Patti at Patti@PattiWood.net
Those little slips of the tongue he called Freudian slips.