I teach my clients to improve their intuitive ability by
noting body language and first impressions. For example, I share my “What is
the first thing you notice when you meet somebody?” They partner with each
other and share their answers. Remarkably, class after class, year after year, they
say, : trustworthy, credible, authentic, honest, integrity. Our primitive limbic brain picks up on nonverbal
cues that help us “read” people. We can improve that intuitive read by consciously
noting what are read of someone is and attaching words to our read, “Safe” “Not
sage” “Be careful” “Doesn’t seem authentic” and then when we finish interacting
with them in a single interaction even writing down our read and checking back
later to see if we were accurate. Research shows that Judges tend to be more accurate
at telling someone is lying because they have an intuitive first impression and
at the conclusion of the court case they have a check/finding on their read. I tell my audiences in my body language classes
and my DiSC and Myers Briggs Communication Style training to implement a new
step in entering their contacts into their phones and or other contact software.
After the first meeting, phone or zoom call to put their own personal code
words and or specific cues they noticed to state their first impression read
and type of the person and then go back and see how accurate they are.
Called the “Gold Standard” of Body Language by the Washington
Post and credited in the New York Times for bringing the
topic to national attention Patti Wood, is a true expert. She creates high
energy interactive programs, filled with humor, cutting edge information and
valuable “Take Aways.” She is the author of nine books
and she speaks and consults to Fortune 500 companies and associations. You see her
on National TV shows like Good Morning America, CNN and FOX news, The History
Channel and the Today Show. She is quoted every
week in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today,
Bloomberg Business Week, Fortune, Good Housekeeping, and USA Today.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
I am an expert on Nonverbal Communication/First Impressions and Interviewing.
The transferrable soft
Skill in 5 words or less.
Make a Great First Impression "Above the Mask"
2. Why this skill is especially
Important & attractive during these turbulent times Being able to present
as safe and friendly is essential to front line workers who serve customers.
An example of how a candidate demonstrated
this to you during the
Job application process. I have my clients put on a mask even when they do
Zoom/video platform job interviews if they are hiring front-line workers
and asking the applicant to do the same.
I have observed an applicant who did a great job at leaning forward, smiling above the mask, and matching and mirroring body language and paralanguage cues. (voice tone
tempo etc.)
This
is often the way that they will be communicating now. Do they have a Zoom Box impression that looks professional? Does it show they took time and care
about their environments, such as not having a messy kitchen or distractions and noise in the background? Do they have the camera aimed correctly? Are they dressed and sitting professionally, and do they score possibility on
the Four First Impression Factors of Credibility LIkeablity, Attractiveness,
and Power. I have a chart of the factors that they should look for in a Zoom box impression so they can rate them on three point scale. If they like the candidate but they didn’t like their Zoom box impression the chart gives them a way to approach a conversation with them
before they hire them to see if they can improve their impression.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For
more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out
Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First
Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
Take Care,
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
Mr. Trump’s office at his
home in the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach,
Florida, is, a monument to his presidency.
The former president is
pictured sitting behind an imitation. replica of the Resolute Desk that most
commanders-in-chief use in the Oval Office. Specifically, it's a $3,600
Telluride Wood Executive Desk from Hooker Furniture. His chair is highbacked
and throne-like brought from his Trump Tower office in New York to the oval
office and now it's here in his post-presidency office.
Placed on a side table beside
a gilded lamp is a small brass statue of Trump himself. I don’t know anyone who
has a statue of themselves in their office.
On the walls on either side of the shuttered
doors are two framed photographs. One is an unremarkable picture of Air Force
One flying over the White House; the other is of Marine One, with the president
aboard, hovering in front of Mount Rushmore before he gave a speech there on 4
July 2020.
On the front right corner of Trump’s desk sits
a plaque commemorating the wall he promised to build on the US-Mexico border. made
from a piece of the wall at the southern border and was presented to Mr. Trump
by US Border Patrol in 2019. Trump
promised a “big beautiful wall” that covered the length of the border, approximately
2,000 miles of concrete wall on the US/Mexico border, He was
practically elected on that pledge. In reality, only 80 miles of new wall were
built during his time in office and some steel fencing.
On
the wall are pictures showing Air Force One banking over the White House and Marine One, the president’s
helicopter, flying past Mount Rushmore, which commemorates the
most significant Presidents in America's first 150 years since independence.
Mr. Trump also has a number of military challenge coins which
he brought from the Oval Office. The coins have been used as gifts to foreign
dignitaries and American soldiers since Bill Clinton first did so when he was
president in the 1990s.
Tucked behind a desk
phone stands a bottle of Diet Coke, though Mr Trump is leading calls for a
boycott of Coca-Cola following the company’s criticism of Georgia’s strict new
electoral laws that threaten to disenfranchise many in the state. (it was once reported that he goes through 12 a day),
There was also some speculation from one
Twitter user as to the location of the former president’s new office with the
suggestion that it was in a hotel room at the Mar-a-Lago resort given the style
of the carpet. The side tables are usually low and are similar to the
nightstands in the luxury suites to be nightstands.
I noticed that instead
of being on the desk facing towards them so he can see them and enjoy them he
has dozen or so photographs on a table behind him, all lined up like as if
they’re at a rally. There is his late father, Fred; his children, Eric, Ivanka
and Don Jr in London; he and Barron in New York; his late mother, Mary, an
oddly cropped headshot of his wife, Melania. I have analyzed and consulted on
offices and I have never seen photos placed behind the desk like that. On a few
occasions, an overflow of photos are on a side desk but still in view. Here they
seem like a sign of status that he has a family.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
Years ago I consulted with the producers of a reality TV show where people would select "Mate" (This was before the bachelor and other shows became popular.) They used one of my ideas in their show and had the women smell the sweaty t-shirts of the guys to choose the best smelling guy for them to date.
In my book SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma, I share insights on the four first impression factors—credibility, Likeability, attractiveness, and power. I discuss the various aspects of attractiveness including smell and today I contributed to a magazine article on smell and attractiveness.
Looking for the right smell in your future mate is so interesting because there is a scientific explanation for its importance—the right "scent" is wired to the limbic system. We want mates that would make good babies!
The theory is that women are more attracted to the scent of men who have immune genes that differ from their own so that if they have children, the babies would be more protected from disease. Specifically, women sniff for men's Major histocompatibility complex (MHC) which is the group of genes that affect the immune system.
So now you know one of the reasons you want your guy to smell good! And if you are a gal who has ever asked for a T-shirt from your boyfriend now you know why, and yes I have done that!!!
1Patti Wood
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is coming this weekend. And with all the usual options off the cards for most of us (thank you, coronavirus) it looks like a movie night in is one of your best options the big romantic day.
This got the team at Casino.org chatting about romantic movies, as well as iconic kissing scenes that make us swoon – and the ones that make us cringe. What is it about watching characters with zero real connection that makes us curl our toes?
We wanted to analyze which on-screen kisses have the most chemistry behind them, so we decided to take a look at three of the key criteria behind a good kiss, and rate some of the most iconic kisses in film against them.
To do this, we teamed up with Patti Wood, an internationally recognized nonverbal communication and human behavior expert. She has conducted years of research in the field of human behavior, so was the ideal person to help us on our quest to find the best and most awkward kisses.
Patti Wood watched hours of iconic kissing footage and rated them on how ‘fully present’, ‘mutual’ and ‘natural’ they were (descriptions at the end).
Using her expertise, she analyzed body language to determine a score out of five for each category and provided detailed analysis on each of the iconic kisses. We then combined the scores to reveal a ‘total chemistry score’.
Which On-Screen Kisses Really Had The Most Chemistry?
Out of all the couples analyzed, the two that came out on top with the most on-screen chemistry were the iconic Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy, played by Colin Firth and Renee Zellweger.
After 32 years of living in a “permanent state of spinsterhood” Bridget finally found her prince charming in one of the most iconic on-screen kisses of all time.
We all love that moment in the movie, but why exactly is that?
As well as the fact you’ve been rooting for Bridget throughout, Patti Wood explains that it’s also got a lot to do with their body language:
“When they kiss, there is lovely “presentness” if I can make up a word. We actually see them go from being aware they are on the street and being watched to blocking all that out so it’s only the two of them.”
“It goes back and forth on who is initiating and doing the work to make the kiss happen but when they kiss he wraps his arms around her, and she again crosses space to go to him, stands on her tip toes and throws her arms around him.”
“It’s the perfect combination of tender sweetness, and then they get hungry for each other. I love how they linger together in the embrace. It indicates symbolically that this kiss will escalate into more and that they will stay with each other.”
So as our expert explains, it’s all about the way the two were present, the back and forth, the embrace, the type of kiss and how it developed.
That’s a whole lot of stuff going into one kiss – no wonder it’s so iconic.
Category One: Fully Present
As mentioned, the analysis was broken down into three main categories. The first one was ‘fully present’ and was scored out of five.
Patti Wood explained that fully present means that both people are focused on each other and that the rest of the world melts away or disappears.
She used her expertise to analyze body language in the scenes to assess just how into the kisses the characters really were.
There was a tie of four front-runners when it came to being fully present in their big kissing scenes: Bridget Jones’s Diary, Brokeback Mountain, The Notebook, and When Harry Met Sally.
The couples in the scenes were able to ignore any chaos which might have been surrounding them, to fully focus on their partner during the kiss.
Let’s dig deeper into Patti Wood’s analysis to see the behavioral signs that made the couples’ kisses a winning or losing moment in this category.
Brokeback Mountain (5/5)
“The rest of the world doesn’t matter, made even more obvious by his wife seeing them kiss and them being oblivious to it.”
“We see a wide range of emotions and body language. We see a hug, a thrust and pushing across a across a great space, a collar hold, a passionate kiss, then they look deeply into each other’s eyes and hold each other to show they love each other before he turns and walks away.
“All saying nonverbally: I desire you, passionately and I love you, but I am denying it.”
The Notebook (5/5)
“Notice how their faces are touching. There is only them, the rest of the world doesn’t matter.”
“Even the reality of the fierce rain pelting them doesn’t affect them.”
The Hunger Games (2/5)
“We see them sit sideways, not turn their bodies fully toward each other and not look deeply into each other eyes. In fact, he avoids eye contact and even looks down.”
Category Two: Mutual
The second scoring system for our kissing criteria was mutuality.
It’s incredible how many kisses in movies are initiated or given by one person making all or most of the effort. The most romantic kisses are those that are mutually given and received.
So out of all our selected iconic kissing scenes, how many of them displayed body language that showed they were one-sided?
Here’s what our body language expert had to say about some of the scenes.
Breakfast at Tiffany’s (5/5)
“So good. He comes to find her, but she crosses the divide to come up to his still form. Then he reaches out and draws her in – and even her cat in.”
“I love how they both wrap around each other and push their faces into each other and really smooch together. Look at how her fingers reach out and around him.”
Twilight: Jacob and Bella (1/5)
“I would almost give this a 0, but there is moment before she is repulsed and hits him, where we know she is making a choice and is present for that moment before she makes it.”
Pretty Woman (1/5)
Image: YouTube
“I think that if we are looking again at the initial kiss on her finger to his mouth, it’s all about her giving the kiss.”
Category Three: Natural
The third factor that Patti Wood was assessing was how natural the kisses were.
To score highly here and appear natural, a movie kiss needed to look like it was a real kiss between real people and not overly done or manipulated.
Here’s what she had to say:
Brokeback Mountain (5/5)
“You have the animal passion and ferocity and the tender holding and eye contact. There is not artifice at all. It’s a raw kiss.”
Bridget Jones Diary (5/5)
“Even though it checks the boxes on a Hollywood romantic kiss, the way they look at each other before during and after the kiss and how the kiss change and continue is very much like a real kiss.”
Titanic (1/5)
To us, this kiss just looks SO impractical (hello, sore neck), but Patti Wood noted there is a whole lot more we can analyze in the kiss.
The heavy symbolism takes away from the natural elements of the kiss:
“She is fully vulnerable to him. She actually put her arms out and stands like she is letting herself be crucified – that very heavy religious symbolism – and she could actually die falling off the bow of the ship.”
“In this case she and the audience know that what she is doing physically is risky, and it matches with the relationship and life changing risk she takes in kissing him and not her rich finance and the security of that relationship.”
Methodology & More Information About Patti Wood’s Scoring System:
Fully Present
This means that both people are focused on each other and that the rest of the world melts away or disappears. If there are other people in the scene, the characters are unaware of them or don’t matter.
If there are physical barriers, they overcome them, which makes elements like rain or snow that are overcome in kissing scenes more powerful. Occasionally, the kissers bring nature into the kiss to make it even more exciting and powerful.
It typically means that there is mutual eye contact and the front of the bodies – what I call the body windows of the toes, knees, pelvis, stomach, palms of the hands, neck, mouth, and eyes – are facing the other person and or are touching. There are exceptions, such as when the one kisser is leaning back on the other, like in the Titanic kiss.
Mutual
It’s incredible how many kisses in movies are initiated or given by one person making all or most of the effort. That doesn’t make them less magical on-screen; it’s just a different kind of kiss.
Since I critique the kind of kisses that most would like to be giving and getting, I think a kiss that is mutually given and received is super romantic.
It’s all so interesting as the initiator is seen as having the most power and control. In many movies, the superhero or man or woman with the most power can have the power dynamic changed by another character immobilizing them in some way – by being the initiator.
Mutual kisses mean both people want the kiss, and typically, they both have their mouths the same way inside the kiss. If one is touching or holding the other, the other one is too.
Natural
This means that the movie kiss looks like it is a real kiss between real people, not overly done or manipulated.
That may mean we see a natural progression that builds to the kiss, that may mean that we see the intense passion and the character open up or fling themselves at each other in a primal way.
One of the things that makes a kiss natural is that there is something happening in the silence between the characters.
That may be eye contact or emotion playing on one or the other’s face, or simply a felt tension before, and a release after.
I often watch the kiss without the sound on several times to make sure that the music is not influencing my read of the kiss.
Other Terms
Our expert refers to some of the kisses analyzed as passionate, fiery, sweet, tender, and other adjectives.
Although we know what the words mean, the types of kisses tend to fall into a ‘heat’ or ‘sweet’ category, and there’s a scale of the types in-between.
Below our expert explains more about how it works and where the main differences lie.
Heat
This means that the body language is passionate, so that you can tell that the “kissers” can’t resist each other. That may mean that a passionate kiss goes from still to one or both people moving swiftly across space to be with one another and leaping, clinging, and opening body windows to each other.
This can be seen in the open mouths offered in The Notebook and Breakfast At Tiffany’s kisses – clinging in a primal way.
Sweet
This is when we see a slow pace that allows one person to draw in the other or court to the kiss.
There may be a look then look away eye contact, a touch, or asking for permission before the kiss. Or it could be the initiator watching and waiting until the other is ready before a kiss.
Smiling by one or both characters can make it extra sweet, along with a mutual look at each other in the eyes. I think that the eye-to-eye gaze just before a kiss and/or just after the first kiss is very telling.
Heat tends to come when the intimate eye-to-eye gaze goes to a quick passionate meeting of mouths. The sweet kiss is preceded by one character looking and the other bowing their head, or tilting their head or looking away.
Many of these movie kisses play against the normal eye gaze that preceded the kiss, by having one character close their eyes and trust the other person.
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
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