Update of Gabby Petito Case. New Body Language and Behavioral Insights in the Case. By Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Here is the link to The article I contributed to.  in The Sun. 

Here is the footage of the police stop. 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/16323894/gabby-petito-police-video-brian-laundrie-shut-up/

Update of Gabby Petito Case. New Body Langauge and Behavioral Insights in the Case. Here is what I see.

Gabby's eyes looked puffy from crying. One Instagram user commented: "Her eyes look puffy here like she was crying the night before."

The first thing that strikes me is that they put her in the back of the police car, where she may have feared that they would take her in, making her less comfortable, less likely to self-disclose and describe the whole situation, and more likely to be defensive.

The next thing I notice is how red and puffy her eyes are. The police didn't see that she had obviously been crying, showing that she may is the more likely the victim rather than the perpetrator.

The next thing I notice is that she is what she says. She is taking responsibility for getting HIM upset. That is a red flag abuse victim script. For example, I was apologizing, but I guess I said it in a mean tone," she said as she was crying and brushing her hands down on her legs in what is called "Stress Clearing." She is the one that

I said before for another article on THESUN that she rubs her neck, which is a comfort cue, but I think it's a mimicking action of where she felt vulnerable on her neck. If people touch around the carotid artery -- the vulnerable part of the neck -- that typically indicates a great fear and vulnerability of safety. She's Comfort Cuing on a part of the body that if it was hurt, it might mean death. She says this as she apologizes, in a way that reveals to me that she might've been fearing for her life."

 I also noticed this time that she said with great distress the very specific and concrete things that he did. "grabbed my face," left a "burning" gash on my cheek, and red marks on my arm.

 I see how Laundrie showed evidence of Malignant Narcissist behavior. He was not just calm but smiling, charming, and put on a bit of show for the officers. Clearly, he has charmed a lot of people in his life to get out of things. I've analyzed police interviews and interrogations for over 30 years, and I can share that the charming suspects whose behavior doesn't match the serious circumstances of the crime should not just be red flags but flaming fireworks to officers.

Laundrie told the police that Petito "gets really worked up, and when she does, she swings, and she had her cell phone in her hand. So I was trying to push her away." 

And notice that he blamed her for him having to "Push her away." They should have asked follow-up questions about the Pushing away behavior and had him demonstrate it and her demonstrate it.  

There is such a vast difference in their body language. That mismatch is in itself a red flag

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Most Serious Crises Facing Businesses in 2023

I am a consultant and professional speaker, and my core audience is business owners and C-suite level executives in million to multibillion-dollar companies. The number one issue has been and still is finding and keeping employees.

So many of my clients and audience members had issues like loyal employees who wanted to stay in their small town or the same city, and so they remained employees, but during covid, they were offered jobs with better pay and benefits where they could stay where they are, and work remotely for a company in another city.  

 I can't tell you how many business owners lament that they thought their employees were happy and "Like Family" but left for more money. They feel betrayed.

It's a combination of the employees having childcare issues,  being unhappy and not sharing it with their companies, being ok, but seeing greener grass offered, or owners and C-suite executives not being aware of just how dissatisfied their employees were. They talk to me about the difficulties, the time, and the money they now have to spend to find replacement employees.

 The other related cause is that their businesses have grown so much during the pandemic that they need to find many more employees.

I recommend

• Getting consistent, timely, and specific feedback from employees on their job satisfaction, and
• Exploring what you can do as a company to help employees with days off,  child care, and elder care issues.
• Make sure your HR component is always actively looking for good employees
• Give bonuses to employees that bring in a great new employee through their network. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Best Way to Give Feedback to Employees.

Excerpted From my forthcoming Book THE CONFLICT CURE and my workshops on leadership. 

• Give feedback as soon as positive or negative behavior occurs.
• Stick with talking about one behavior rather than a laundry list of pent-up frustrations or irritations.
• If you are giving a piece of criticism, wait till you are alone with the employee to share it rather than speaking in front of others to show your respect for everyone.
• Make sure the criticism matters, saying it will make a difference for your business, and it's not just a personal pet peeve or a put-down. For example, years ago, I had a boss who was rarely in the office, and our clients never came into the office, much less the breakroom. He humiliated a fellow consultant in front of all of us by saying, "I don't like the smell of popcorn. It's unprofessional. What would our clients think? Never make it again." The consultant left the firm and took his high-paying clients with him!
• If you've waited for a pattern of good or bad behavior to occur before you give the feedback, make sure you stick with the one behavior and say when it happens or how many times it happens. Again, avoid sharing a list of bad behaviors.
• Give the praise or criticism using specifics the way a scientist would—for example, you were 20 minutes late five times in the past three weeks. Not, You're always late. And I have noticed that over the past month, you smile and greet customers in a genuinely warm and welcoming manner that makes them feel good coming into our business. Rather than, "You're good at customer service."
• I am an expert in nonverbal communication, so I want to make sure you a cautious with your tone of voice when giving criticism. Be honoring and respectful. Don't speak in anger or frustration.
• If you are giving criticism, make sure you have a conversation about what the positive behavior would look like. For example, you can ask them what they think the replacement behavior should be and discuss any challenges they may have with making the change, and if that doesn't work, offer what you think the ideal behavior would look like. 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How Do You Know Someone is Fake Crying, Do Narcissists' Cry?, Why Do Narcissist's Cry? By Bod Language Expert Patti Wood

As a body language expert, I am asked by the media and my clients to analyze politicians, celebrities, and others to see if their tears are real or fake. Unfortunately, time and time again, I find that malignant narcissists fake cry. They cry, but the timing is off. It often comes out of nowhere. It doesn't show authentically at the top and bottom of their face, their breathing is off, and they often look to see if their fake tears are having a persuasive effect on their audience.

Body Language Analysis of Kyle Rittenhouse's Crying. Real Tears or Fake Tears? Kyle Rittenhouse Murder Trial. https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/19741562/5363364492962921396?hl=en) I can't say with certainty that Kyle is a Narcissist but, I can tell if he fake cried during the trial. 

Though anyone can fake cry, Malignant Narcissists are the most likely to do so. They can also cry authentically but mainly use crying to manipulate others.

For example, A malignant narcissist can take their girlfriend to a movie and sob during the sad love story in the film. So they get their girlfriend's full attention away from the movie. Then when their girlfriend asks, "Why are you crying?:" they can reply, "Oh, it reminds me of the loss of my relationship with my true love, the love of my life." So their girlfriend will comfort them, losing her enjoyment of the movie, overriding her importance to him for the lost love, and giving him the attention he craves. He gets a "hit" for gaining her attention over a great movie and the "hit" from making his current girlfriend feel sorry for him for losing someone he describes as his true love, making her less than and not his true love.

The Malignant Narcissists never feel satiated. They never find total peace or contentment. Instead, they are screaming for the cavernous depths of their insides to be filled up. So they seek attention by manipulating others. One method to get a narcissistic supply is to play the Victim and fake tears to get attention.

Like a child who fakes crying to get attention, they will pretend to be helpless, in pain, and act persecuted to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them. Any empathetic person wants to aid someone who is crying. Fake crying can help them gain alliance, turn their audience against someone they want to punish, and isolate and receive aid. So for example, media personality Alex Jones used his show to falsely accuse Sandy hook victims and their surviving family members of being crisis actors. But now that his victims are suing him for the harm, he is crying that HE is the Victim. He cries he is bankrupt though he was recently revealed to be a multimillionaire who is siphoning funds to dummy accounts to hide his wealth from his victims. In fact, he is currently fake, crying to his audience that he needs money to fight what he calls his attackers, who are, in reality, his victims.

And in truth, Malignant Narcissist thinks they are the Victim anytime they don't get what they want. As in, "I am crying, poor me, I am alone, my mean wife left me." Not revealing the wife left because of abuse and infidelity. So the ex becomes the villain the Malignant Narcissists get the sympathy.

And part of their confusing and mindbending behavior means they can exhibit a confusing mixture of superiority and inadequacy, victimhood. They show macho or superwoman confidence, except for circumstances where the appearance of low self-esteem, poor me I am helpless, oh please help me behavior is required.

In a romantic relationship, they will have two or more romantic targets they can play against each other. That way, they can always have at least one to run off to cry that they are the Victim. For example, they can cry in their lover's arms. "My wife does not understand me." "She is so cold." "Hold me because my wife gives me no affection."  And or cry to their wives, "This woman knew I was married to you, but she was relentless and kept sending me racy photos of her and would not stop." "I was a victim of her siren-like pursuit."  Crying can gain their wives' sympathy and forgiveness and turn the wives' anger away from them and to their mistress.

 Body Language Analysis of Kyle Rittenhouse's Crying. Real Tears or Fake Tears? Kyle Rittenhouse Murder Trial. https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/19741562/5363364492962921396?hl=en

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

How To Dress For Zoom Job Interview, How to Look Good on Zoom.

I am a body language expert. I am a speaker and consultant with Fortune 100 companies and the media about nonverbal communication. I have written several books, including "Snap, Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language, and Charisma.

 

 Research shows that perceptions of professional attributes, like competence, composure, and knowledge, "are affected most by dress, with formal dress resulting in the most positive perception." It also affects how you see yourself. Research shows that dressing "properly" has an impact on how you see your own skill set.

 

On Zoom, the top half of your body is the focus. Try all the outfits you are considering, sitting down on a rehearsal zoom call to see how they look. Does everything fit without pulling, gapping, or tugging on the button? Does it look too big or bulky?

The look should be crisp, well-ironed, and ideally, solid colors that "read" stronger, rather than distracting or too personalized (not plaid, polka dotted, flowered, a Hawaiian, or shirts with slogans.)

 

Next, pull down your jacket, shirt, or dress down in the back. I can't tell you how many people I coach forget that step. They check their outfit standing in front of a mirror and forget they need to look good in it while sitting down. Make sure if you're a woman that camera doesn't let the viewer see down the top of your dress or shirt to your bra.

 

Look at significant newscasters on TV to find the model of someone you think looks good on camera from the waist up.

Make sure that the shoulders of your jacket, shirt, blouse, or dress fit. The seam for the sleeves should be right at the end of your shoulders. There are women's clothes that are currently popular with dropped sleeves or no sleeve seam that are cute but look overwhelming and messy on camera. For women, a sleeveless or short sleeve solid color dressed in jewel tone looks the best. Note how female newscasters seldom wear look sleeves or brown, beige, black, and pastels.

 

If you are interviewing for job wear, you will dress casually and go at least one level up from the casual you would see in that business. In an interview, you show respect for the person interviewing you, the job, and the company.

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.