Update of Gabby Petito Case. New Body Language and Behavioral Insights in the Case. By Body Language Expert Patti Wood
Here is the link to The article I contributed to. in The Sun.
Here is the footage of the police stop.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/16323894/gabby-petito-police-video-brian-laundrie-shut-up/
Update
of Gabby Petito Case. New Body Langauge and Behavioral Insights in the Case.
Here is what I see.
Gabby's
eyes looked puffy from crying. One Instagram user commented: "Her eyes
look puffy here like she was crying the night before."
The
first thing that strikes me is that they put her in the back of the police car,
where she may have feared that they would take her in, making her less
comfortable, less likely to self-disclose and describe the whole situation, and
more likely to be defensive.
The
next thing I notice is how red and puffy her eyes are. The police didn't see
that she had obviously been crying, showing that she may is the more likely the
victim rather than the perpetrator.
The
next thing I notice is that she is what she says. She is taking responsibility
for getting HIM upset. That is a red flag abuse victim script. For example, I
was apologizing, but I guess I said it in a mean tone," she said as she was
crying and brushing her hands down on her legs in what is called "Stress
Clearing." She is the one that
I
said before for another article on THESUN that she rubs her neck, which is a
comfort cue, but I think it's a mimicking action of where she felt vulnerable
on her neck. If people touch around the carotid artery -- the vulnerable part
of the neck -- that typically indicates a great fear and vulnerability of
safety. She's Comfort Cuing on a part of the body that if it was hurt, it might
mean death. She says this as she apologizes, in a way that reveals to me that
she might've been fearing for her life."
I
also noticed this time that she said with great distress the very specific and
concrete things that he did. "grabbed my face," left a
"burning" gash on my cheek, and red marks on my arm.
I
see how Laundrie showed evidence of Malignant Narcissist behavior. He was not
just calm but smiling, charming, and put on a bit of show for the officers.
Clearly, he has charmed a lot of people in his life to get out of things. I've
analyzed police interviews and interrogations for over 30 years, and I can
share that the charming suspects whose behavior doesn't match the serious
circumstances of the crime should not just be red flags but flaming fireworks
to officers.
Laundrie
told the police that Petito "gets really worked up, and when she does, she
swings, and she had her cell phone in her hand. So I was trying to push her
away."
And
notice that he blamed her for him having to "Push her away." They
should have asked follow-up questions about the Pushing away behavior and had
him demonstrate it and her demonstrate it.
There
is such a vast difference in their body language. That mismatch is in itself a
red flag
The Most Serious Crises Facing Businesses in 2023
I am a consultant and professional speaker, and my core audience
is business owners and C-suite level executives in million to multibillion-dollar
companies. The number one issue has been and still is finding and keeping employees.
So many of my clients and audience members had issues like loyal
employees who wanted to stay in their small town or the same city, and so they remained
employees, but during covid, they were offered jobs with better pay and benefits
where they could stay where they are, and work remotely for a company in
another city.
It's a combination of the employees having childcare
issues, being unhappy and not sharing it
with their companies, being ok, but seeing greener grass offered, or owners and
C-suite executives not being aware of just how dissatisfied their employees were.
They talk to me about the difficulties, the time, and the money they now have
to spend to find replacement employees.
I recommend
- Getting
consistent, timely, and specific feedback from employees on their job satisfaction,
and
- Exploring what you can do as a company to help employees with days off, child care, and elder care issues.
- Make
sure your HR component is always actively looking for good employees
- Give bonuses
to employees that bring in a great new employee through their network.
The Best Way to Give Feedback to Employees.
Excerpted From my forthcoming Book THE CONFLICT CURE and my workshops on leadership.
- Give feedback as soon as positive or negative behavior occurs.
- Stick
with talking about one behavior rather than a laundry list of pent-up frustrations
or irritations.
- If you
are giving a piece of criticism, wait till you are alone with the employee
to share it rather than speaking in front of others to show your respect for
everyone.
- Make
sure the criticism matters, saying it will make a difference for your
business, and it's not just a personal pet peeve or a put-down. For
example, years ago, I had a boss who was rarely in the office, and our clients
never came into the office, much less the breakroom. He humiliated a fellow
consultant in front of all of us by saying, "I don't like the smell
of popcorn. It's unprofessional. What would our clients think? Never make
it again." The consultant left the firm and took his high-paying clients
with him!
- If
you've waited for a pattern of good or bad behavior to occur before you
give the feedback, make sure you stick with the one behavior and say when
it happens or how many times it happens. Again, avoid sharing a list of bad behaviors.
- Give
the praise or criticism using specifics the way a scientist would—for example, you were 20 minutes late five times in the past three
weeks. Not, You're always late. And I have noticed that over the past
month, you smile and greet customers in a genuinely warm and welcoming manner
that makes them feel good coming into our business. Rather than, "You're
good at customer service."
- I
am an expert in nonverbal communication, so I want to make sure you a cautious with your tone of
voice when giving criticism. Be honoring and respectful. Don't speak in anger or frustration.
- If
you are giving criticism, make sure you have a conversation about what the
positive behavior would look like. For example, you can ask them what they
think the replacement behavior should be and discuss any challenges they
may have with making the change, and if that doesn't work, offer what you
think the ideal behavior would look like.
How Do You Know Someone is Fake Crying, Do Narcissists' Cry?, Why Do Narcissist's Cry? By Bod Language Expert Patti Wood
As a body language expert, I am asked by the media and my clients to analyze politicians, celebrities, and others to see if their tears are real or fake. Unfortunately, time and time again, I find that malignant narcissists fake cry. They cry, but the timing is off. It often comes out of nowhere. It doesn't show authentically at the top and bottom of their face, their breathing is off, and they often look to see if their fake tears are having a persuasive effect on their audience.
Body Language Analysis of Kyle Rittenhouse's Crying. Real Tears or Fake Tears? Kyle Rittenhouse Murder Trial. https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/19741562/5363364492962921396?hl=en) I can't say with certainty that Kyle is a Narcissist but, I can tell if he fake cried during the trial.
Though anyone can fake cry, Malignant Narcissists are the most likely to do so. They can also cry authentically but mainly use crying to manipulate others.
For example, A malignant narcissist can take their
girlfriend to a movie and sob during the sad love story in the film. So they
get their girlfriend's full attention away from the movie. Then when their
girlfriend asks, "Why are you crying?:" they can reply, "Oh, it
reminds me of the loss of my relationship with my true love, the love of my
life." So their girlfriend will comfort them, losing her enjoyment of the
movie, overriding her importance to him for the lost love, and giving him the
attention he craves. He gets a "hit" for gaining her attention over a
great movie and the "hit" from making his current girlfriend feel
sorry for him for losing someone he describes as his true love, making her less
than and not his true love.
The Malignant Narcissists never feel satiated. They never
find total peace or contentment. Instead, they are screaming for the cavernous
depths of their insides to be filled up. So they seek attention by manipulating
others. One method to get a narcissistic supply is to play the Victim and fake
tears to get attention.
Like a child who fakes crying to get attention, they will pretend to be helpless, in pain, and act
persecuted to manipulate others into feeling sorry for them. Any empathetic
person wants to aid someone who is crying. Fake crying can help them gain
alliance, turn their audience against someone they want to punish, and isolate and
receive aid. So for example, media personality Alex Jones used his show to
falsely accuse Sandy hook victims and their surviving family members of being
crisis actors. But now that his victims are suing him for the harm, he is
crying that HE is the Victim. He cries he is bankrupt though he was recently
revealed to be a multimillionaire who is siphoning funds to dummy accounts to
hide his wealth from his victims. In fact, he is currently fake, crying to his
audience that he needs money to fight what he calls his attackers, who are, in
reality, his victims.
And in truth, Malignant
Narcissist thinks they are the Victim anytime they don't get what they want. As
in, "I am crying, poor me, I am alone, my mean wife left me." Not
revealing the wife left because of abuse and infidelity. So the ex becomes the
villain the Malignant Narcissists get the sympathy.
And part of their
confusing and mindbending behavior means they can exhibit a confusing mixture
of superiority and inadequacy, victimhood. They show macho or superwoman
confidence, except for circumstances where the appearance of low self-esteem,
poor me I am helpless, oh please help me behavior is required.
In a romantic
relationship, they will have two or more romantic targets they can play against
each other. That way, they can always have at least one to run off to
cry that they are the Victim. For example, they can cry in their lover's arms.
"My wife does not understand me." "She is so cold."
"Hold me because my wife gives me no affection." And or cry to their wives, "This woman
knew I was married to you, but she was relentless and kept sending me racy photos of her and would not stop." "I was a victim of her siren-like
pursuit." Crying can gain their
wives' sympathy and forgiveness and turn the wives' anger away from them and to
their mistress.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)