What Do We Look for on a First Date? Top Two Things We Look for on a First Date

According to research that I discuss in my book, SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma are Credibility Likeability Attractiveness, and Power on a first date we often prioritize attractiveness. The top two things we look for on a first date are. I think they are attractive

and humor. 

Attractiveness

We are attracted to bilateral symmetry – when the body or face is perfectly balanced – has a subliminal effect on first impressions Researchers have also found correlations between symmetry and health, which lends itself to the theory that in looking for a mate, humans and other animals look for those who will be most healthy and free of disease Research has shown that women are more attracted to men with more symmetrical features. One study even found that women have more orgasms during sex with men who are more symmetrical, regardless of their level of romantic attachment or the guy’s sexual experience. How about that?

 

Men are more likely to have their own personal physical ideal so on a first date they are looking for the qualities in the date to see how they rate with their ideal woman, as in short blonde, talk skinny with long dark hair etc,

Both genders look at the eyes first and are attracted to large pupils and find someone that gives healthy conversational eye contact more likable.

Appearing more dominant effectively draws the attraction of women. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and toes pointing outward

Research shows that women are attracted to men wearing the color blue. Blue is the color of approachability, stability, constancy, reliability and calmness

Humor is sexy.

 The research shows women like men who make them laugh, and men like women who laugh at their jokes.

Recent research suggests that while both men and women say they like a "good sense of humor" in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes. Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller found in a sample of 400 university students that general intelligence and verbal intelligence both predicted humor production ability (writing captions for cartoons), which in turn predicted lifetime number of sexual partners (a proxy of reproductive success).

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Is Body Language a True Science and Why do People Have a Hard Time Recognizing Body Language and other Nonverbal Communication as a Science?

Body Language and other Nonverbal Communication is based on the scientific method and Nonverbal Communication is a separate and credible science category with its own academic research. Still, some people don't respect Body Language and other Nonverbal Communication analyses and insights and, indeed, may make fun of it and even label it Pseudoscience. There are many reasons people don't give it credibility

The first reason may be that it is not part of mainstream education, so it is not always understood. It is rarely taught in schools and seldom taught as its own science class. You may have a biology, chemistry, physics, and psychology class, but most schools don't have a separate science class on Nonverbal Communication. You might learn about Nonverbal Communication in a course on job interviews or business, but you don't typically study the scientific research that gives it credibility and validity.

It's a relatively young science established as a separate science category in the 1950s, and the terms Nonverbal Communication and body language were coined. It can take many decades before a category of science is recognized. Fun fact, if you read historical fiction set in the 1880s and the author has a character use the word body language, you know the author didn't do their research because that term wasn't coined until the 1950s. The original research on nonverbal Communication began much earlier in 1872 with the publication of Charles Darwin's book The Expression of Emotion of Man and Animals.

In the book, Darwin theorized that humans and animals showed emotions through facial expressions. He used examples like nose wrinkling and barring of the teeth in anger. He introduced this research and theory but, in part. Because it introduced the concept of evolution that seemed controversial, it was not popular. In fact, the rise of behaviorism in the 1920s theorized that behavior is not innate but acquired through conditioning learning. Nonverbal communication research, as recorded on film, started in 1955 with scientists from different fields, psychiatrists, linguists, and anthropologists like Ray Birdwhistle, and later with contributions from other sciences like entomology (The study of insects) and sociology. 

I personally experienced how young the science is and how it came from research in many other fields When I was working on my undergraduate degree in Interpersonal Communication with an Emphasis in Nonverbal Communication, the Dean of the College of Communication allowed and supported me to create a specialization that was unavailable then so I, and people after me, could have a degree with that specialization. I was able to do that by taking all the related courses in my College of Communication, such as the Body Language and Nonverbal Communication Class, and becoming a group leader and student assistant in that class for several semesters as well as independent study research I did under the guidance of my main professor and research at the University Library and State Library of Florida (I have the potent set of memories of reading the entire shelf of the green covered Journals of Nonverbal Behavior that contained academic research studies in nonverbal Communication.) and taking courses in other departments such as psychology, sociology and business that had insights in nonverbal Communication.

 Another problem with attaining recognition of Nonverbal Communication as a science is that many people don't realize, consciously that they are reading nonverbal cues.  Nonverbal Communication is processed in the limbic system, parts of the brain that don't process word language. The recognition of cues in the Limbic brain rather than the neocortex and happens very rapidly, potentially thousands of nonverbal cues can be processed in less than a minute,  so we don't have that long, drawn-out logical process to retain what we did and how we did it.

 That's why I love to break down photos and videos and point out the cues for my clients, audiences, the media, and in my articles and books. It's like playing where Waldo is and showing people where Waldo is and how you found him, so the reader recognizes the mostly subconscious process they go through to read the nonverbal cues. 

Another reason some people may not respect it as a credible science or choose to use or study it is that it may not be a skill that comes easily based on their personality type and intelligence type. While people that are high in Emotional intelligence tend to read people more accurately about half the population is more skilled at a task or technical-related intelligence, so they may not give credence to Nonverbal Communication. The first eight years I spoke on the topic I would make a statement and back it up, quoting the scientific research studies that supported my statement. And even then I might be in front of say a group of Engineers that would ask, "That's only one study, can you share more?"  and I would. 

I think the number one reason people don't recognize Nonverbal Communication as science and make fun of it is that there are so many unqualified people saying they are experts. People without degrees in the field who have never conducted scientific research in the field say they are body language experts; there is a problem. When they are on social media or being interviewed on TV and in the news and even writing books and claiming expertise or spouting what is indeed Pseudoscience, for example, they may say, "Hey, I am a body language expert because I am a bank manager, and I have lots of Youtube post on body language and have high SEO, and here is my body language analysis of the president's speech. Or, "Hey, I am a body language expert because I am a dentist and have to understand people when they can speak with words, so let me give my "expert" opinion to congress." (And yes, that happened." When people without degrees and scientific expertise don't know how to analyze objectively and apply scientific principles, they make mistakes. For example, if they are members of a particular political party, they may let their political perspective and or prejudice affect their analysis, Such as I hate this politician who is not in my political party, so I am going to find horrible nonverbal cues to share with you for this media interview. Or they may not have the same ethics as a scientifically trained expert and be swayed to a perspective by a journalist who interviews them who might want dirt on this person, and I say to themselves, "No big deal.” "I want to be quoted in this article, so I will say what they want. If these amateur analysts are the face of the field, it undermines its credibility. The public reads or hears their analysis finds glaring mistakes and finds fault not with the person who claims expertise but with the entire science.

 

When I taught body language at Florida State as a graduate student teacher and later as an adjunct instructor, I had the largest class in the College of Communication with around 150 to 175 students depending on the quarter/semester. The Dean had asked me to ensure that the class was academically challenging as students and professors would read or hear about it and assume it was easy. With that mandate with years of study in Nonverbal Communication, I taught my students the science of Nonverbal Communication including; scientific theory and how to analyze a research study, and required a paper along with giving them rigorous examines and requiring a once-a-week group lab. Even with all I shared even the professors in my department laughed when they talked to me about the class. They thought it was a joke. Which is funny, considering it was the largest class because of its popularity.

I knew I was so blessed to teach that class because the students told me how valuable it was to them, how they used what they learned, and how it had so much more relevance to their lives than other courses they were taking. When I run into an old student from those four years teaching it at  Florida State, my students in that class share with me that it was the most valuable class they took. And it was not a coincidence that while I was teaching the class, Time Magazine listed my class at Florida State as one of the most popular college classes in the nation.

 

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

GMA cohosts TJ Holmes and Amy Robach's Affair Body Language, by Body Language Expert Patti Wood

I have done several body language stories about Amy Roback and TJ Holmes. Two are below. First, the link to the story with the photos and then the content of the articles if you prefer to read them here.

https://www.the-sun.com/entertainment/6835452/amy-robach-body-language-expert-tj-holmes-affair-gma/?fbclid=IwAR0qgVIwhtGpbLKjXcjCA5yipbGE5ULNNGk79nqF3hKO1BEb6Jze8OwAO_M

A BODY language expert says that Good Morning America host Amy Robach was “snarling” and “showed suppressed anger” when breaking her silence on her “affair” with T.J. Holmes.

In an exclusive interview with The U.S. Sun, body language expert Patti Wood shared.

Amy, 49, addressed the rumored relationship with The U.S. Sun on Friday when asked if she had a comment about "what has been going on" with her reported new love interest and long-time co-star T.J. Holmes, 45.

"It's been great, I've gotten a lot of support, and um, just I appreciate everything and I'm happy to be going to work," she revealed.

Wood, who reviewed a clip of the brief exchange said that it was interesting that Amy did the interview in the first place.

“That in of itself is significant because she’s making a choice to talk about it when they’ve been silent about it.”

Wood added that Amy gave “a great performance that everything is fine.

“Her body is sort of frozen there like 'I'm caught and I’m going to look worse if I run'.”

Wood also said that Amy looks as if she’s “almost snarling as she talks” and she showed “suppressed anger.”

Amy doesn’t fully look at the camera as she speaks, which Wood says may suggest that she didn’t want to speak in the first place but still decided to anyway.

“I think part of it is that performative part of her,” said Wood. “I think she wants to get ahead of the story and have her impact on the story.

“It’s a choice and if she decided to run, I think she would have looked worse and I think she also knows that.”

MOVING OUT

Earlier this week, The U.S. Sun exclusively disclosed that the NBC anchor moved away from her $5.2million marital home just days after her apparent affair with co-host T.J. Holmes was revealed. 

A source revealed to The U.S. Sun that Amy "moved out" of her luxury SoHo apartment which she shared with her husband Andrew Shue.

On Friday a bright pink moving van was seen unloading furniture from the home, "which was sold in September," according to the insider.

"This was a pre-planned move. You can look at it as a happy, or an unfortunate, coincidence."

"Either way, Amy had planned to move in peace. She couldn't have anticipated that hiring a moving company with a hot pink truck might not have been the way to go," the source teased.

NEWFOUND LOVERS

The source added that T.J., 45, and Amy, 49, are in a full-blown relationship.

"They are definitely together, they are not hiding their love anymore."

While one insider previously told The U.S. Sun that those on the peripheral production staff at GMA were completely blindsided by the news, a second source alleged T.J. and Amy weren't doing much to hide their budding romance before the story broke on Wednesday. 

"Tongues were wagging" in their inner-work bubble, the second source claimed. 

In their native New York City, T.J. and Amy were frequently seen running together, though one staffer assumed they were simply colleagues training together for the New York City Marathon. 

"When I would see them, I always found it odd that Amy was working out in full hair and makeup," the staffer shared.

"Now I understand- it was a date."

UNDER THE RADAR?

In the DailyMail's damning photos, Amy and T.J. were spotted enjoying what looked to be a series of PDA-filled dates and even a weekend getaway together this month.

In one picture, the pair looked intimate while having a drink at a bar in NYC on November 10.

They were also caught apparently spending time together at each other's apartments in Manhattan.

The pair, who began anchoring GMA3 together in 2020, reportedly headed to upstate New York on November 11 for a weekend getaway at a cottage two weeks before Thanksgiving.     

While the presenters are legally married, a source told the outlet that they are in process of separating from their partners.     

T.J. and Amy both abruptly deleted their social media pages on Tuesday after the shocking rumors emerged.    

An insider told the outlet: "Everyone knows that Amy and T.J. have been close friends for a long time now, running together and even socializing as a foursome with each other's spouses."     

In March, Amy shared a photo of T.J. with his arm around her husband Andrew Shue's shoulder during a day of training for the New York half marathon.     

https://www.thesun.ie/fabulous/9834558/tj-holmes-amy-robach-affair-body-language-clues/

GMA cohosts TJ Holmes and Amy Robach seemed nervous and uncomfortable next to each other on their first show back since news of their alleged love affair broke, an expert has revealed.

Speaking to The U.S. Sun, body language expert Patti Wood broke down how Amy looked "frozen" and subconsciously tried to draw attention away from TJ, while TJ worked hard to hide his nervousness but physically moved his chair away from Amy, leaving her unbalanced.

The GMA 3 stars appeared a bit too cozy in leaked photos showing them getting touchy-feely on a romantic weekend away and sitting close in the corner of a Times Square bar.

This made shockwaves as TJ and Amy have been with their respective spouses for the last 12 years.

While the presenters are legally married, a source told DailyMail.com that they are in process of separating from their partners.

On Thursday, TJ and Amy sat down once again to host GMA 3 alongside anchor Jennifer Ashton.

The U.S. Sun talked to body language expert Patti Wood to get her expert opinion on TJ and Amy's interaction during a 15-second clip from the show.

At the beginning of the video, Amy is seen sitting up straight in her chair next to TJ.

Patti observed Amy's arms to be tight against her side with her hands "slightly aimed in."

"So that shows stressed body language. She’s in a slightly frozen posture. That’s the limbic system going, 'I think I need to protect myself,'" Patti explained.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Body Language Insights into Idaho murder suspect Bryan Kohberger by Body Language Expert Patti Wood, Sociopaths Stare

I will post the article with my body language insights into the Idaho murder suspect's demeanor as he arrived in court today when the story goes live tonight. 

His perp walk 

https://www.foxnews.com/us/idaho-murder-suspect-bryan-kohberger-spotted-first-time-since-arrest 

His mug shot https://www.tmz.com/2022/12/30/idaho-murder-suspect-arrested-university/

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Three last-minute gifts and a great start to the year off right books.

Three last-minute gifts and a great start to the year off right books.

THE SUNRISE MANIFESTO. The first is my favorite journal. It’s the one I use and that I recommend to all my executive coaching clients. It’s a gratitude journal, goal setting, and morning pages journal that takes around 5 minutes every morning. I have reviewed and used over 20 different journals, and this is my favorite by far. It’s an excellent gift for a busy go-getter kind of person, anyone dealing with grief, depression, trauma, or loss, or a teen or college student too. After years of teaching gratitude principles, this journal made it easy for me to thank friends, family, and employees AS they did something wonderful.

Link to purchase https://www.amazon.com/Sunrise-Manifesto-Guided-Journal-Productivity/dp/B01C1QWP5S/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2BGF7EEXW0S6I&keywords=the+sunrise+manifesto+guided+morning+journal&qid=1671728300&sprefix=the+sunrise%2Caps%2C101&sr=8-1

 

DO WHAT YOU ARE I coach people going through career transitions and young people who don’t know what they want to do when they go off to college or are finishing college. I taught college for 11 years and loved helping my students find their passion and life path. This book is the best resource. I had seen hundreds of clients sitting at my office table light up when they turned to THEIR chapter in the book and started to read the different perfect jobs for them. It’s an excellent gift for an adult considering a career transition and high school and college students.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0316497142?tag=amz-mkt-chr-us-20&ascsubtag=1ba00-01000-a0049-win10-other-smile-us000-pcomp-feature-scomp-feature-scomp&ref=aa_scompttps://www.amazon.com/dp/0316497142?tag=amz-mkt-chr-us-20&ascsubtag=1ba00-01000-a0049-win10-other-smile-us000-pcomp-feature-scomp-feature-scomp&ref=aa_scomp

Of course, my book SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma, is a great gift for anyone wanting to improve their first impression, business, and relationships. It’s essential reading for anyone in a leadership position, sales, young people anyone with ADD!

https://www.amazon.com/Snap-Making-Impressions-Language-Charisma/dp/1577319397/ref=sr_1_1?crid=34GKEBI45BFA6&keywords=snap+making+the+most+of+first+impressions&qid=1671728432&s=books&sprefix=Snap+Making+the+most+%2Cstripbooks%2C79&sr=1-1

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.