I
am a body language expert this article is from my Book SNAP Making the Most of First
Impressions Body Language and Charisma.
Give an eyebrow flash when you see someone
you want to interact with. We raise the brow and fully stretch open the orbit
of the eye when we see someone we know and like. It’s actually a signal to
others that we feel they are safe; we like them and we want them to approach.
Stand to give room. One of the keys to
approachability the key is to make yourself approachable is to stand in a way
that shows you have room for others to approach. Men typically stand with their
feet 10 to 12 inches apart indicating they have power and control over their
space. So stand with your feet a couple of inches closer together.
Open up your body windows. Years ago I labeled
certain parts of the body windows in the research on nonverbal communication
because in my research I noticed that people open and closed certain parts of
their bodies as they interacted. We know the old advice, don’t cross your arms
so you look open and approachable. It’s a more complex phenomenon. You have
WINDOWS at your feet, your knees, your stomach, heart, throat, mouth, eyes, and
the palms of your hands and you open and close them depending on how you feel,
who you are with, and what you are discussing. If you feel safe, to be
approachable, ideally you should keep your windows open. For example, we tend
to trust and approach people who have open exposed palms. This window is
particularly important as the limbic system sees a hand in a fist or possibly a
weapon as potentially dangerous so we stay back. The heart window is also
important as shielding the heart indicates you are not open to approach or
conversation. You are shielded from the interaction.
I can give you more details about this or other body windows. if you
wish.)
Relax your body as body tension makes you look apprehensive and not open
to approach.
Maintain good look/look away
eye contact.
Nod, and head tilt to signal you're listening to what
the other person has to say
Stand and sit side by side with men. Adapt the position
you take when sitting or standing with someone. Though we typically think that
sitting or standing face-to-face is the best way to greet and interact with
someone, the real skinny is that it depends on your gender. Five Reasons to Stand or Sit Side by Side
When Talking to Men
- It makes you
seem friendlier.
- It allows them
to open up their body windows.
- It makes them share and self-disclose
more.
- It creates more
agreement between the two of you.
- It lets you
more readily establish rapport.
Take Care,
Patti
Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
