Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

How You Carry Your Purse Says a Lot about You, Purse Styles and Personality by Body Language Expert, Patti Wood

Making a statement with a handbag used to involve spending lots of money.

In these straitened times, however, it seems all you must do is carry it in the right way.

Body language expert Patti Wood has analyzed how women hold their handbags and suggests there are ten distinctive styles that reveal volumes about their personalities.

For example, while a woman who holds her handbag tightly under her arm in the ‘Armpit Vice’ may merely think she is freeing up her arms, the look also suggests awkwardness, according to American author Patti Wood.

Younger women, she says, tend to go for ‘The Hands-Free’ look, wearing a bag draped across their body from one shoulder.

But Miss Wood warns: ‘The girl who wears a hands-free bag willingly covers up her silhouette and outfit. It is useful but it also shows you are slightly dorky.’

Meanwhile ‘street-smart’ women are likely to adopt the protective ‘Thumb-to-Pit’ style, keeping their thumb firmly hooked around the bag’s handle in a look often sported by Sarah Jessica Parker’s character Carrie in Sex and The City.

Few mere mortals, however, are likely to find themselves in the final category – the ‘I’ve Got a Bag Bitch’ look.

Usually reserved for royalty and, occasionally, Victoria Beckham, it involves not carrying a handbag at all, because you have an assistant – or boyfriend – to carry it for you.

‘When people feel the need to look fabulous all the time, they can’t be encumbered with anything,’ Miss Wood said.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

How Do You Set a Mission Statement and or a New Year's Resolution or Goal for You and or Your Company, Seven Steps to Achieve Your Goals. Seven Steps to Achieve Your New Years Resolution.

What is your New Year's Resolution and or What are your goals for the new year and how do you achieve them?

I do two-day team building workshops with the C-Suites Executives of a company. As part of that program, I help them create or update their company Mission Statement and set goals to achieve and maintain their mission statement as well as help the individual set a personal resolution for the year. Here are some of the tools I use in the workshops and in my business that may help you achieve your New Year's Resolutions.

1 Post your resolutions/goals above your desk and or put them on your laptop and or on your paper planner. Read it/them each morning. When you have to make any difficult decisions and or you find you aren’t getting anything done read it again.

Set up a time to check in and see if your resolution is working for you and if your behaviors are in alignment with them. ng in with their resolution to see if it was in alignment. Give yourself permission to change your resolution if it’s not serving you.

2) When setting a resolution for your work you may want to ask your clients/customers for feedback to determine WHAT to work on. I teach this to my clients and do this myself. In December I call all my clients from the previous year and ask for their feedback on how my team and I served them and what we can do better. That helps me determine my resolution and goals for the next year.

3) I have a one-sentence Resolution that changes each year. Yours can be as simple as, “How can I best serve others in this moment?” “Choose what will bring you peace.” “What is the most important thing to work on at this moment to make my business successful?” “What can I do today to become the go-to expert in body language and nonverbal communication.” the go-to expert in your field?”, “Chose Joy” and “Say yes to adventure.” “Do what brings you wealth and happiness.”

4) Share your statement with someone. You can get a Resolution Partner, a Mastermind Group, or a friend. You don’t have to do more than share it but it helps to plan a time say twice a year, once a month or so to share your challenges and successes around your resolution and goals.

5) “Calendar Out” your resolution and goals. Break them down and set daily time to achieve them. Go through your entire calendar year and set aside specific days times, and amounts of time to work on your goals.

6) The fifteen-minute tool. I teach my clients that consistently planned work on tasks to achieve their resolution/goal and doing it at the same time each day and for a certain amount of time makes it easy to do the task and it pays off.

For example, each morning I spend 15 minutes or more if I have time, working on a task that can help me achieve my mission. For example, years ago when I was working on the resolution to become one of the top body language experts in the country, I set aside 15 minutes each morning to check the news for any top story that could be related to body language and write a blog post about it. I did that for FIVE YEARS and that led to being contacted by the media, a job as a national spokesperson for Wrigley’s Gum, my first national TV interview on Regis and Kelly, and regular guest segments on other news shows, and change in my keynote status and fees to “Expert Speaker.” The joke was some of my colleagues said I suddenly became an “overnight success.”

7) Pair gratitude with your resolution and goals. I recommend using a gratitude journal that also has a space to set daily, weekly, and monthly goals and if they work in a creative field, space to do Julia Cameron’s “Morning Pages. Morning pages get rid of the garbage thoughts, worries, and concerns that keep you from working effectively.

Tattoos, Couples Matching Tattoos, Does the Size of a Couples Matching Tattoo Mean Something? Body Language Expert Patti Wood and Tattoos.

Nonverbal communication is a symbolic language. In nonverbal communication, there is a category called Artifacts. Artifacts - are material things we wear or attach to or put on our bodies to express our identities and connections to other people. These include wedding rings, earrings, makeup, tattoos, a small dog we carry, etc. In addition, they include things like long painted fingernails, uniforms to display professionalism and draw respect from people, colors like red that create excitement, and high-end luxury branding on items.

In nonverbal communication, the amount of space something takes up and the significance of that space communicates. So a larger matching tattoo would symbolize more significance and a more visible and or important space on the body would also increase the significance and the importance of the bond between the couple. In addition, the symbol would communicate what is important to the couple. It could be a shared memory like an Irish A Claddagh (Irish: fáinne Chladaigh) is a traditional Irish symbol a heart represents love, the crown stands for loyalty, and two clasped hands symbolize friendship or it might be a shared memory like a mountain to symbolize a trip/location where they became engaged or a musician’s name or face that they share a passion for.

"Phubbing" What Happens When Your Partner is Always on Their Phone and What to Do About It. The Body Language Expert Patti Wood Insights on Phubbing.

How Phubbing Can Impact Your Relationship

1. In interactions with one person, you can exchange up to 10,000 nonverbal cues. If you are on your phone, you are not paying attention to the nonverbal cues your partner is giving you and you are giving off cues that show you the priority is your device. Your body language shows how you truly feel.

2. You show that relationship with your device by bending your head, neck, and upper body over it staring at the device, and touching the device. There are critical “Body Windows” at the eyes, neck, heart, and palms of the hands that you would normally have open to your partner that you are now closing off from them and opening to your device. For example, typically when you communicate you turn your heart towards the person and do not have barriers, like folded arms or objects between you as you communicate. So, even if you start talking to your partner while you have a device, the device may keep you from turning completely towards them and may function as a barrier preventing clear communication and signally you want to be open honest and connect fully. I have a chapter in one of my books where I recommend the best body language cues for listening called GENTLER body language that I will put at the end of my responses.

Also, research shows that when you are in communication situations, merely with your device in the room and off you tend to pay less attention to the humans in the room, have lower levels of cognition, and retain less information from the interactions.

3. How To Bring Up Phubbing with Your Partner. Be clear and specific. Say what you want and why. Do not generalize or attack. “I care about you and our relationship and want to connect with you more.” “The last three weeks you have come home on your phone as you enter the house and don’t stop to say hello or hug me and during dinner, you have your phone on and keep checking it and when you watch TV you are bent over it, looking at it or the TV for hours at a time rather than turning towards me and interacting’ I feel ignored. I want to know what you are doing and feeling and would like us to talk about making our relationship a priority and how much time you are on your device when we are together.”

4. How to Stop Phubbing Your Partner Change the settings on your devices to either turn off social media when you are home with your partner or reduce the hours you can be on your device. Have a box by the door to drop your device in when you come through the door to show your partner, they are now your priority. Do not bring your phone to the table or the sofa!

When you are talking with people you form strong neural pathways to the social centers of the brain that make it easier and more comfortable to communicate and bond and according to research even make it easier to make decisions and deal with stress.

The quick shallow decisions you make on a device rewire your brain to create neural pathways to the ego centers of your brain and give you a dopamine hit. You may feel a dopamine withdrawal when you reduce your hours on your devices. Notice the times of day and the locations where you may have created an unhealthy ritual to always be on your phone and see if you cannot have a device with you in that location or at that time. It may be helpful to do activities with your partner that preclude being on a device, like cooking together, exercising and walking together, playing card games, or going to a concert. You can create healthy new rituals and make those activities always device-free going forward.

Six Non-verbal Clues That There Is Trouble in the Relationship with Your Partner/Spouse

Six Non-verbal Clues That There Is Trouble in the Relationship

with Your Partner/Spouse

A happy healthy relationship feels good. There may be bumps but when you get to the other side of the conflict you feel better. If you know what normal, happy, and healthy behavior is in your relationship it is easier to see when your partner's behavior changes to something that feels uncomfortable. Your body does not relax and feel calm. Often this occurs because your limbic system is noticing negative nonverbal cues, and your central nervous system is keeping you alert to danger.

When you stay stressed and feel that something is constantly off, but you cannot put your finger on it, it may be time to consciously look for concrete observable behaviors that are making you feel uncomfortable and address them with your partner.

What you are looking for are changes from their normal behavior that cannot be explained by other external issues like health problems and work stress. Ideally, you see a sign and address it. If you see multiple signs there is more danger, and even then, it is best to start by addressing one issue at a time in a conversation.

1. Space One of the most important things to be aware of, and one of the basic foundational principles of body language, is that you go towards what you like, and you retreat from or run away from what you do not like. If the norm was for your partner to lean in as you spoke, a healthy sign in a relationship, and now they are leaning away or reverting when you come near, it may be an indicator something is off in the relationship. Do they change how much time they spend sitting near you? Do they change the amount of time they spend in the same room as you?

2. Time A Be aware of the time spent together - and apart. Although it is normal for schedules to become busier, couples should want to spend time together. If this changes, becoming anything from not spending weekend days with you that they did before or coming home late or leaving for work early, and there is no other “external cause,” it might be worth speaking to your partner. Another indicator is eye contact or a lack thereof.

3. Eye contact When somebody loves you, they like looking at you. If there is a sudden change in the amount of time, they spend looking at you and making eye contact with you,” it is not a good sign. Touch is a powerful communicator so changes in the number of times they touch you or the location they touch you are telling. If your partner used to love holding your hand but suddenly has no interest in physical contact, their body may be telling you something that they have not verbally said. Whether they are made consciously or not, non-verbal clues can be an important indicator of the health of your relationship.

4. Phubbing, They are paying attention to their devices instead of being fully present with you. Especially if there is a sudden change/increase.

5. Wedding ring behavior Playing with or not wearing their wedding ring. Your central nervous system is stressed when you see human behavior that does not make sense to you. When for example the body language and the words spoken do not align. So for example a man says he cares for you but does not wear the wedding ring you have him or plays with he plays with it when he is out with you and there are other attractive women around, or you are single and out with a business colleague and he is flirting with you subtly while playing with a wedding ring that his wife gave him. There is a mismatch there and it drives the limbic brain crazy and alerts the central nervous system to stress mode. (The stress responses are freeze flee, fight, fall, or faint) So if you see the behavior and for a moment you freeze in place and are speechless be wary and know that something is very wrong. Side note. I am fascinated with autobiographies and biographies of women. I read Elizabeth Edwards autobiography a few years ago and was struck by a chapter where she discusses how her husband kept losing his wedding band when he went out running and how she bought several wedding bands for him so he would always have one. The writing in that section was so odd and stilted. You know she wanted to say, I know my husband is cheating on me, but darn it, I am going to fight for this relationship.

6. Sleep Are there changes in the way they sleep? I have done research on couples’ sleep positions and a sudden change, which is not to physical health can indicate unhappiness in the relationship. Even a change in sleep behavior like suddenly not going to bed when you do can signal an issue.