Search This Blog

How To Question Someone to Get to the Truth. How to Question and Employee

In my Establishing Credibility and Trust and Detecting Deception Workshops, I teach questioning techniques similar to the ones described in the article at the bottom of this post.  

When I first taught interviews and interrogation techniques for a law-enforcement training center, the few books on the topic suggested the kind of forceful bullying interrogations you see on detective shows. But, I believed that the best technique to get to the truth was to establish rapport and trust and to listen carefully and observe body language. And I believed and taught then and continue to teach that interviews with victims and witnesses especially those who experienced fear or discomfort of any kind require great patience and empathy.

I teach programs for HR professionals, managers, C-Suite executives and business owners to interview all the parties in a Human Resource issue.  Here are two kinds of questions you that may surprise you with their effectiveness at getting to the truth.

1) Non-Judgmental Open-ended questions are essential.  Instead of creating stress by saying, "Tell me every detail you can remember..." "Or tell me all the details..." 

What are you able to tell me about your experience?
What can't you forget?
What stands out about your experience?

2) Sense Memory Questions 

Our sense of memory in a real experience is very strong.  If someone is telling the truth they experienced a real situation or situations with all their senses. They heard, saw, smelled and felt the experience. If,  in your workplace, you have an employee that is sharing a bad experience and asking for help and they are having trouble sharing the experience the questions below can help them recall it. If you doubt the veracity of someone's story you can ask "sense" questions to test their story. Liars tend to create a "word" story in their neocortex. They didn't experience it the true experience.  
Asking "Sense" questions will create a cognitive overload that is likely to create stress so you may see them struggle to answer simple questions and give nonverbal tells of stress.  With a sense memory question, you have the possibility of helping some "Re-fire Up" their memory as memories are recalled when we activate a network of interconnected neurons.  Because information comes to us through our sense of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. When we recall a memory we re-fire the same neural paths that we used to sense the original experience and in a way, we recreate the event.

What are you able to recall about what you saw?
What you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” 
How were you sitting standing or moving?
Describe the temperature, the sounds and the other feelings of the experience

(The five basic senses are sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. There are other senses such as the vestibular sense, thermoception, nociception, and proprioception)

I love that the team below where trained in interview techniques to help victims tell their truth 



Here is an excerpt from the articles. 
“.,.,,questions are open-ended and empathetic — more an invitation to share than a relentless hammer to provide a precise chronological account. “What are you able to tell me about your experience?” takes the pressure off the victim to figure out what the investigator wants and allows for actual recollection. “What are you able to recall about what you heard or smelled?” taps into the victim’s deeper sensory experience. “What can’t you forget about your experience?” bypasses what the victim has forgotten and offers an entryway into other memories.

This article also shows the power and bullying behind the mask of a psychopath and malignant narcissist. This is a man who fooled the pubic posing as a great guy while behind the scenes he abused, bullied and smeared the credibility of his victims.

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.htmlhttp://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/03/michael-osgood-special-victims-commander-harvey-weinstein.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The O.J. Simpson Interview On Fox: Did O.J, Simpson Lie, Or Tell The Truth? Body Language Read Of O.J. Simpson



https://www.nytimes.com/2018/03/12/arts/television/oj-simpson-interview-fox-lost-confession.html


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Quote to lift you up when things look bleak and dark.

Do not be dismayed my the brokenness of the world.
All things break. All things can be mended.
Not with time, as they say, but with intention.
So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.
The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is in you.
By L.R. Knost.


Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Tools to Reduce First Date Stress

Tools To Reduce First Date Stress 

by Patti Wood Author of SNAP Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma. www.PattiWood.net
  1. Relaxation Technique and anchoring :  Tension and stress can literally make your make your heart race so before your date, even in the days leading up to it start training your mind and body to let go of stress. Put aside a few minutes of time in which you can fully relax. That may mean lying down or sitting in a comfortable chair breathing and tensing and relaxing your muscles. You start by breathing in deeply on a count of three, and tensing and relaxing your feet by pointing them downwards and then go through all your major muscle groups going up from your feet up through your legs, stomach, throat, jaw, and facial muscles. As you tense and release, breathe in on a slow count of three, hold three, and release on a slow count of three, the entire time. You may relax by closing your eyes, or looking at a peaceful scene (such as a photograph of water or the trees outside your window), or even by taking a walk. When you feel your body totally relaxed, place your hand on your belly, and breathe in and out slowly. The hand on your stomach becomes a physical anchor, linking you to a memory of your relaxed state. If you practice this technique any time your put your hand on your stomach your bodies muscle memory will recall the state and you will instantly be relaxed. Now whenever you get nervous before a first date, place your hand on your stomach and relax!
  2. Visualization:  When we are nervous about a first date, we tend to imagine everything that can go wrong and have the video looping in our brain of all those imagined mishaps. You can reduce your stress by replacing a script of a failing with a script of a wonderful successful first date. When you are under stress your brain goes to the script we have rehearsed the most and that involved the most senses. So imagining your date the way, encompassing all the senses. Get in a relaxed state and imagine yourself being on a great first date. If you can see or imagine the actual place you are going, if you can picture that exact space and your date sitting with you. See yourself in the clothes you will be in, feel your body move confidently and hear yourself speak with ease and energy. Visualize the strong eye contact you’re making. See in your mind your date smiling and interested in what you are saying and you doing the same for your date. Feel the strong connection. Let the strong sense of confidence fill you up and embrace the excitement, enthusiasm, and energy of that meeting. Hear in your mind your own strong voice, as well as the laughter of you and your date. Feel the ease of being with your date. Rehearse your first date success throughout the day and before you go to sleep at night. And have the fun on your date that you have imagined. 






Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Young Royal Couple's Body Language, What are Megan and Prince Harry Showing About Their Relationship?

What are Megan and Prince Harry saying with their body language. My read for Elite Daily News.



https://www.elitedaily.com/p/prince-harry-meghan-markles-body-language-on-international-womens-day-spells-good-news-about-their-relationship-8457524

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.