Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog

The Origin of the Hug, by Body Language Expert Patti Wood

The origin of the hug.

You may think of the hug as only a touchy-feely greeting. It may surprise you to learn that the hug actually originated in Egypt as a way for men meeting strangers to check for swords hidden under their long robes. It continues in modern day as a “Let me pat you down” weapons check in many Arab greetings.

It is only in the last century that the full frontal hug has morphed into the embrace showing warmth and affection. This full face-to-face hug shows others that we trust them and are willing to give them ready and full access to our vulnerable heart.

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

Donald Trump’s Courtroom Body Language and Post Courtroom Mar-a-Lago Speech Body Language. By Patti Wood

 I have analyzed over 20 photos of trumps body language going in the courtroom, 
in the courtroom, and leaving and during his later speech at Mar-a-logo. The link article I did for The Sun is below my notes here about his anger and sadness. 
The predominant emotion he is showing his anger. It's not surprising as anger is a strong emotion and can make you feel powerful. 

In some people,  anger is always there just below the surface in reserve ready to appear to prevent any sense of agony and powerlessness, in what is called, a "cover emotion.” 

When you imagine Trump, and you have a picture of him in your brain or maybe a movie of him in your brain what is the strongest emotion he shows? 

In some of the photos trumps anger covers sadness. If someone is experiencing and showing full sadness the upper eyelids droop the inner corners of the eyebrow are raised and the Outer corners of the mouth pull down slightly. And sometimes the cheeks raise and create a furrow pushing up the skin below the eyes and narrowing the eyes, creating a "nasolabial fold." (that's wrinkles running down from the nostril at word be on the corners of the lips.)

Here is the entire article

https://www.the-sun.com/news/7799476/donald-trump-speech-mar-a-lago-body-language/

Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago speech ‘lacked energy’ for key reason after ‘anger and unusual behavior’ in court, expert says

he found that Trump displayed patterns that indicated sadness and anger at the hearing, the latter being exceptionally rare for defendants.

"I've been covering trials as a body language expert for well over 20 years," Wood said.

"So when a defendant shows anger, going in and out of the courtroom and in the courtroom, that's interesting to me because it's not standard.

"I see it when they need to win somehow and feel powerful, but it's not typical in an everyday defendant."

Instead, Wood told The U.S. Sun that those accused of crimes oftentimes are "hunched over" and can look defeated before a judge.

One photo of Trump appeared to show him shutting his eyes, which could indicate that he was "blocking what's happening from the brain," Wood analyzed.

"The eyes actually close because what the person is experiencing is too much, too overwhelming," she said after prefacing that he could have just been photographed mid-blink.

Leaving the courtroom, Trump appeared to try and cater to his audience and gesture a closed fist with a wave, which is typical of him.

However, he really lacked animation, according to Wood, who theorized that it could be due to an absence of control.

"It's modified from his normal fist," she said of his gesture to the audience.

Instead of pointing the "fierce" knuckle as a show of strength, he instead appeared to be "gripping on trying to hold it together," Wood said.

"What he's really feeling is, 'I need to hold on,'" Wood theorized.

"That's something you're more likely to see in children."

'HUSH MONEY' PAYMENTS

The charges against Trump stem from a $130,000 hush-money payment that his former fixer, Michael D. Cohen, made to porn star Stormy Daniels in the final days of the 2016 campaign to silence claims of an affair.

Cohen confessed to the payment and was sentenced to three years in prison.

The case also includes claims of separate payments to a second woman, former Playboy model Karen McDougal.

Trump allegedly played a role in paying $150,000 to McDougal, who claims that she began a 10-month relationship with the former president in 2006, according to the Wall Street Journal.

What to Do When Someone Ghosts You On TINDER or other Dating Apps.

You are going back and forth with someone on Tinder then suddenly there are no messages. You have now been sucked into the black hole. You're staring at the screen guessing at the reasons for the change; you reread the last few messages searching for clues, like Benoit Blanc in Knives Out or Sherlock Homes but without the hat, a pipe, and your trusted sidekick Watson. Does silence mean anger, indifference, stubborn withdrawal, or passive-aggressive punishment? Inside the agony of this ambiguity, the black hole, we project our own expectations, emotions, and anxieties. How do you unravel the mystery?

Ghosting is a nonverbal communication.

In analyzing a ghosting episode its important to know that the motivation for their ghosting goes in this order

Something that is going on with them.

Something that is going on with the situation
Something motivated by their feelings for you.

Here is the biggest secret revealed that will be helpful for the rest of your life. It's usually about them. The research supports the fact that most nonverbal communication reflects what is going on with the sender! So always ALWAYSs go there first in you trying to figure out what the heck is going on mind pondering. If there is an absence of communication your first thought should be, “I wondering what going on with them?” They may be going through something in their lives, they may have suddenly gotten nervous or tense, or they may have found someone else to Tinder/date. It’s Not About YOU.

Ghosting has become the norm, albeit a rather immature behavioral norm to avoid having brief open honest communication. If you chose to reach out into the abyss give it one open honest communication attempt.

First notch up your request assuming that it has nothing to do with you/ Assume it's them and something is wrong in their life or circumstances and workload. Try recognizing that they may be dealing with something and can’t or don’t want to share.

Alan,

I haven’t heard back, I am concerned about you, please let me know if you are ok. If you no longer wish to interact that is fine. Just send a short. Sorry I am no longer interested. If something is up and you may reach out later just say, “Something’s up, please give me some time and don’t reach out again and I will communicate with you when I am able.

How quickly are first impressions made and how difficult is it to change that impression? And What Can You Do To Change a Bad First Impression in Your Job Interview?

According to research that has been replicated over and over again, most hiring decisions are made within the first 10 seconds of the interviews, then the interview tends to gather evidence that they were right in their first assessment.

It is difficult to change a first impression but, here are a few things you can do.

Interact in a different place. The research on first impressions says they are more likely to change if the person sees you in a different environment. So if you have made a bad first impression with someone try to see them in a different place or space. If you interviewed in a meeting room, make sure you chat in the hall or break room. If you interviewed on the phone, ask for Zoom or in person.

Check-In at the start and end of interactions. Check in on what you are doing at the beginning and end of every interaction. Since the first thing and last thing you do in an interaction has the greatest impact on your impression noticing what you’re doing and making adjustments in your behavior at those times will give you the most “bang for your buck.” These are also the times people are most likely to have heightened attention on you.

Practice a good handshake.

Research on handshakes and their importance. In research showing Using a 15-second piece of video showing the candidate knocking on the door, shaking hands, and being greeted by the interviewer, the researcher asked a group of participants to rate these applicants on the criteria that the two trained interviewers had been using to assess the full interview. On nine out of the 11 traits that the applicants were being judged on, the observers significantly predicted the outcome of the interview.

What makes a good handshake? Not a bonecrusher, but instead hand web to hand-web and palm-to-palm contact. To get a good grip and make sure you don’t get or give a weak wimpy partial handshake. Make sure your thumb is out and the rest of your fingers are fully flat and rest together. Then here is a trick. Scoop in. Tilt your fingers down and scoop up into the other person's hand so your first point of contact is the web where your thumb meets your forefinger. Then make sure your palm makes full contact with theirs. The scoop insures you a full confident handshake every time. The handshake is in your control.

Make sure you make palm-to-palm contact. Open palms symbolically show a desire to be open and honest in your interactions; not giving a person contact with your palm in a handshake is read subliminally as a lack of openness and honesty. It’s why we hate a wimpy

Do Stereotypes Affect Your Job Interview? How Your Voice Can Impact The Success of Your Job Interview By Author and Body Language Expert Patti Wood

After I received my undergrad degree in Interpersonal Communication with an Emphasis in Body Language and Nonverbal Communication from Florida State University I moved to Auburn Alabama to work on my Master's degree and Study with one of the leaders in the Field. On my first day of teaching, I was gobsmacked by my student's introductory speeches.

Most of my students graduated in the top ten of their high school and had many impressive accomplishments, but their speeches sounded to me like they were uneducated. In part because of their heavy hard-to-understand southern accents and how they dropped their ING's to say things like, "I went huntin'?" "I was fixin' to go to Florida for school but I got/in to Auburn." My students were smart and educated, and I quickly grew to love and respect them but my prejudice affected my first impression. I was studying body language and yet my stereotype of Southern speech still impacted my impression.

Here is just one of the many research studies that show stereotypes affect job interview first impressions negatively.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/10/191021151540.htm

Michael W. Kraus et al. Evidence for the reproduction of social class in a brief speech. PNAS, 2019 DOI: 10.1073/pnas.1900500116

FYI I also quickly began matching and mirroring their speech and when I visited friends in Atlanta halfway into my first semester at Auburn my friends immediately started teasing me about losing my INGs

I also found out most of my students graduated in the top ten in their high schools in Alabama because most of them came from small towns where there might only be ten students in the graduating class.