Search This Blog
Body Language Read of Sofia and Joe's Balancing Act
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
How To Change Your Life
How to Change Your Life
By Patti Wood MA, CSP
What you resist persists and grows stronger. What are you resisting? Are
you resisting being mad at your boss, a family member or sweetie? Are you
resisting gaining more weight or exercising? Are you resisting changing a bad
habit?
Do you need to move toward something positive rather than sit back? Do
you need to move forward to what you want rather than pull away from what you
don’t want?
When you
stop resisting, let go and allow, you can release an enormous amount of energy
that is holding that resistance (or block) in place. It is like trying to hold
a huge beach ball under water all the time, it's exhausting. You can free up
that energy for the things that you want and not what you don't want or are resisting. And what we
usually resist is pain, or feeling our pain. The more you don't listen or
resist, the louder your pain has to shout.
It is interesting to me that when you set a goal to make a change in your
life how the universe offers both gifts to make that change and opportunities
for you to be challenged to not make the change.
For example, if you decide to make a change and say, “I don’t want to be
a victim. The universe may place you in situations where you would normally be
a victim. Your wallet or purse might be stolen, a relationship may have
conflict, or end and so may a job. In those situations you can say, “Why does
this always happen to me?” or you ask, “How can I act differently in this
situation so I don’t feel like a victim?” “How can I be strong in this
situation?” If you say, “I don’t want to get mad all the time,” the universe
may put you in situations where it would be easy to get mad. So you have the
choice to go down that path or say, “What could I do or say that would be the
opposite of getting mad.” Or “If you say, “I am ready to communicate more
effectively and say my feelings out loud.” You may be put in situations that
challenge you to do just that. Perhaps you have to say something to an angry
boss or sweetie or speak out against the team’s ideas in a meeting and risk
criticism. You can learn from the challenge and grow stronger like a racer who
moves from flat road to mountain peaks or you can sit on your sofa in your socks
saying your feet hurt.
What are you going to do to make your life better? Are you ready to grow?
Here are some recommendations:
1.
Say what you want rather than what you don’t
want.
2.
In the moment where you find yourself wanting
to do the old thing ask yourself what you could try to do differently.
3.
Be gentle with yourself if you do it the old
way and notice it!
4.
Get a support system.
5.
Don't wait until it feels right, start now!
6.
Share your goals.
7. Don't give up!
And remember. There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you
in its hands.
Quick, Easy and Clever Halloween Costumes
Quick, Easy and Clever Halloween Costumes
10 last minute Halloween costume ideas that are quick and easy to create from stuff you already have in the house
- Strap a flashlight or two into a belt and wrap tight with duct tape then put on a sheet with big eye holes. It gives a whole new meaning to ghost.
- Put your phone headset on your head. (One of the ones that goes over your head with the mike in front.) Put on oxford shirt and khakis and go around saying, "Please hold." And "how can I help you today?" To dress like tech support.
- Put white powder in your hair or grey wig, and strap, sew or hot glue office supplies to your body, a stapler, notebook, pens, paperclips and post its to your clothes and say you're an old desktop computer.
- If you're single, hot glue recipes and perhaps a measuring spoon and a whisk and such to an apron put it on over a white shirt and black pants say you're a chef looking for a food critic to cook for or that you're a future contestant for top chef and you would like to try out some recipes.
- Go to the dollar store or
grocery store and get tons of boxes of Cracker Jack. Hot glue them to a buttoned shirt, tell people you're the Cracker Jack surprise. - Carry an open newspaper and say you're the last subscriber to the daily paper. (Read the paper first as people will ask you what you've read)
- Dress in all deep purples and carry or attach a dinner knife, a bag of white bread and jar of peanut butter. You are a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
- Dress all in black (that can be fun) or brown attach or carry a coffee cup cream and sugar and say you're a cup of coffee.
- Find all the birthday cards around the house, hot glue them to an outfit, along with birthday candles, a paper table cloth and an empty box of
cake mix and say you're a birthday party. - Put a couch throw around your shoulders strap on a pillow from the sofa, a TV remote and some popcorn, and you're a couch potato.
And a few more
Look up conversation starters or questions to start conversations on the internet and print a ton of them, then cut them into strips, glue them on your clothes and you are a conversation starter. My book strapped to your waist is also a good opener.
Print out a ton of photos of all the things that interest you, your fav foods, and places to travel, people, books and famous people, tape them on. You're PINTREST (The website where you pin photos.)
Put on all black, a cap, mask, gloves and tennis shoes and take all your purses and hang them all over you to be a purse snatcher.
If you have dark hair and a big smile, put on a white shirt and white pants and red lipstick and carry a clip board and you’re Madge the Progressive Insurance girl. (Have a YouTube video of her commercial on your phone ready to play.)
If you’re a guy put on a business suit, make a table out of cardboard that you can fit around your waist or sit on the floor and have people gather around you in a circle and ask inane questions and you’re the AT&T guy in the cute commercial with the kids.
Take all the old ties from the closet pin and or wrap them around you. Swing by a Thai restaurant for some take out boxes, menus and chopsticks and you are Thai food.
Dress up like a witch, but instead of a broom bring a Swiffer or little vacuum to be a modern day witch.
Put on all your sports related clothing, hats, shoes etc. (please no Miley Cyrus foam finger) and go as a sports fan. You can even go as a fan.
I am going to dinner with friends on Halloween but, we are not dressing up. Instead we are going to play twenty questions and have each other guess what famous person we would dress up for.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Job Interview Mistakes and Tips to Avoid Them
Job Interview Mistakes
and Tips to Avoid Them
I was recently
interviewed by Monster.com on interviewing mistakes. Here is the full article.
For more information on body language for interviews you can get my book, “SNAP
Making the Most of First Impressions Body Language and Charisma.”
7 Rookie Job Interview
Mistakes You Need to Avoid
Nail the Audition by Avoiding These Common Snafus
By Daniel Bortz | October 13, 2015
Many recent college
graduates flunk their first job interview. In fact, that’s an understatement,
according to an Office Team survey that asked senior managers to recount
the most embarrassing interview mistakes they’ve witnessed.
Some of the more cringe-worthy stories: an interviewee was so nervous she
almost fainted; one dude fell asleep; one candidate even did a song-and-dance
routine in hopes of getting the job (err, the performance didn’t go so well).
The list goes on.
However, the most common job interview blunders are less jaw-dropping. To ace the audition, avoid these rookie slipups.
1. Forgetting to do your homework
It sounds basic, but many job seekers don’t sufficiently research the company
ahead of time, says Belinda Plutz, founder of the New York-based Career Mentors
Inc.
“So many people look at the job posting and the company’s website but don’t dig deeper,” she says.
Start with a simple Google search for recent news about the organization; a new client
acquisition, for example, is a good talking point. Study the company’s
competition and stay on top of industry news, advises Plutz.
Social media is also a good source for current information about the company,
says Atlanta career coach Hallie Crawford, so review the company’s recent
tweets and Facebook posts.
2. Walking in unprepared
Call ahead to find out specifics, including what to bring, and how long you should plan to be there.
“If they say 30 minutes and you’re out in two hours, you know it went well,”
Plutz says.
Ask whom you’ll be meeting with so you can gather intel on each person. Check
their LinkedIn and mention commonalities (same alma mater?) or interesting
projects the person has worked on. Don’t worry about coming across as a
stalker.
“LinkedIn is public for a reason,” says Crawford. “Today’s managers expect you
to look them up ahead of time.”
3. Reciting scripts
It’s prudent to prepare responses to common questions (e.g., “Tell me about
yourself”), but don’t be robotic. Instead of memorizing answers and repeating
them line-by-line, focus on the overall concept.
“It’s like giving a good PowerPoint presentation,” says Crawford. “You have your talking
points, but every time you present it, it’s a little different.”
4. Asking the wrong questions, or (gasp!) none at all
You’re there to be interviewed, but take advantage of the face time by asking thoughtful questions. Avoid run-of-the-mill queries so you stand
out.
Limit yourself to three questions, since the hiring manager’s time is finite.
Find out whether it’s a new position.
“If it’s brand new, ask why they created the job,” advises Plutz. If you’re
replacing someone, ask why the person left or why they got promoted, and
whether it’s the company’s preference to promote from within.
Crawford recommends inquiring about the expectations for the first 30, 60, and
90 days. “You’ll get a flavor of what the job is like without being mundane and
asking, ‘What’s a typical day like?’” she says.
Last, pose a question that establishes a personal connection with the hiring
manager; for example, “I saw from LinkedIn you’ve been here for four years.
What has your experience been like?”
5. Overlooking
your body language
Nonverbal communication can create a great first impression—or immediately
turn off a hiring manager. “When we talk about getting a gut feeling about
someone, what we’re really talking about is reading his or her nonverbal cues
[subconsciously],” says Atlanta-based body language expert Patti Wood.
To improve your posture and eye contact, role-play the interview with a
friend. Also, make sure you have a firm handshake—research shows that if it’s
weak or flaccid, the hiring manager might assume you lack confidence.
Don’t be stiff, says Wood, who recommends occasionally leaning forward with
your head, upper torso, or whole body to show you’re interested in what the interviewer
is saying, and remember to smile.
6. Talking salary
An initial interview isn’t the right time to discuss compensation unless the
hiring manager broaches the subject. The same goes for benefits like vacation
days, telecommuting options, and flex-time, which “aren’t relevant until
they’re more serious about hiring you,” says Crawford. Save those topics for
the final interview.
7. Botching the follow-up
Set expectations at the end of the interview three questions: “What’s the next
step in the process?” “When do you want to bring someone on board?” and “How
should I follow up with you?”
Instead of relying on your memory, Plutz says make notes of what you spoke
about immediately after the interview and send a short thank-you email within
48 hours that cites specifics from the conversation (e.g., “The way you
described the company culture really resonated with me”).
Give references a heads-up they might be hearing from the company and supply each person with an updated resume, says Crawford.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
The list goes on.
However, the most common job interview blunders are less jaw-dropping. To ace the audition, avoid these rookie slipups.
1. Forgetting to do your homework
It sounds basic, but many job seekers don’t sufficiently research the company ahead of time, says Belinda Plutz, founder of the New York-based Career Mentors Inc.
“So many people look at the job posting and the company’s website but don’t dig deeper,” she says.
Start with a simple Google search for recent news about the organization; a new client acquisition, for example, is a good talking point. Study the company’s competition and stay on top of industry news, advises Plutz.
Social media is also a good source for current information about the company, says Atlanta career coach Hallie Crawford, so review the company’s recent tweets and Facebook posts.
2. Walking in unprepared
Call ahead to find out specifics, including what to bring, and how long you should plan to be there. “If they say 30 minutes and you’re out in two hours, you know it went well,” Plutz says.
Ask whom you’ll be meeting with so you can gather intel on each person. Check their LinkedIn and mention commonalities (same alma mater?) or interesting projects the person has worked on. Don’t worry about coming across as a stalker.
“LinkedIn is public for a reason,” says Crawford. “Today’s managers expect you to look them up ahead of time.”
3. Reciting scripts
It’s prudent to prepare responses to common questions (e.g., “Tell me about yourself”), but don’t be robotic. Instead of memorizing answers and repeating them line-by-line, focus on the overall concept.
“It’s like giving a good PowerPoint presentation,” says Crawford. “You have your talking points, but every time you present it, it’s a little different.”
4. Asking the wrong questions, or (gasp!) none at all
You’re there to be interviewed, but take advantage of the face time by asking thoughtful questions. Avoid run-of-the-mill queries so you stand out.
Limit yourself to three questions, since the hiring manager’s time is finite. Find out whether it’s a new position.
“If it’s brand new, ask why they created the job,” advises Plutz. If you’re replacing someone, ask why the person left or why they got promoted, and whether it’s the company’s preference to promote from within.
Crawford recommends inquiring about the expectations for the first 30, 60, and 90 days. “You’ll get a flavor of what the job is like without being mundane and asking, ‘What’s a typical day like?’” she says.
Last, pose a question that establishes a personal connection with the hiring manager; for example, “I saw from LinkedIn you’ve been here for four years. What has your experience been like?”
5. Overlooking your body language
Nonverbal communication can create a great first impression—or immediately turn off a hiring manager. “When we talk about getting a gut feeling about someone, what we’re really talking about is reading his or her nonverbal cues [subconsciously],” says Atlanta-based body language expert Patti Wood.
To improve your posture and eye contact, role-play the interview with a friend. Also, make sure you have a firm handshake—research shows that if it’s weak or flaccid, the hiring manager might assume you lack confidence.
Don’t be stiff, says Wood, who recommends occasionally leaning forward with your head, upper torso, or whole body to show you’re interested in what the interviewer is saying, and remember to smile.
6. Talking salary
An initial interview isn’t the right time to discuss compensation unless the hiring manager broaches the subject. The same goes for benefits like vacation days, telecommuting options, and flex-time, which “aren’t relevant until they’re more serious about hiring you,” says Crawford. Save those topics for the final interview.
7. Botching the follow-up
Set expectations at the end of the interview three questions: “What’s the next step in the process?” “When do you want to bring someone on board?” and “How should I follow up with you?”
Instead of relying on your memory, Plutz says make notes of what you spoke about immediately after the interview and send a short thank-you email within 48 hours that cites specifics from the conversation (e.g., “The way you described the company culture really resonated with me”).
Give references a heads-up they might be hearing from the company and supply each person with an updated resume, says Crawford.
Body Language Read of Obama, Putin, Castro, Nazarbayev, Sergei Lavrov and Kerry
Body Language Read of
Obama, Putin, Castro, Nazarbayev, Sergei Lavrov and Kerry
Some of you know I
analyzed the body language of Obama, Putin and other world leaders at the UN
meetings recently. Here is the link to my interview for a Russian TV show that
broadcasts worldwide.
One of the New
Stations sent a reporter from Miami last week to tape at the house. I can’t
resist sharing this link, because they lead with me walking the Bo dog. Bo was
in one of my first media pieces years ago for Creative Loafing, and of course
he was the number one Dog Star when I was the National Spokesperson for Pup-peroni,
but I was really touched that the reporter fell in love with Bo. Everyone fell
in love with him. Now, I have a video of my baby dog in his last week. By the way,
I was carrying him up and down the stairs and he had stopped taking walks, but
when he saw that video camera he perked right up. My baby dog will always be special.
Obama
Handshake -
Obama gives a cover smile as he enters the room. He pulls down the corners of
his mouth. Men think they are smiling covering up their true emotional state
but he is not covering. The fact that it lasts more than three seconds shows he
is deliberately trying to control. You see how the lower lip is pushed up which
shows anger and resignation to the task, little asymmetrical shows some
contempt. Both visibly tighten their lips showing hidden opposition.
Obama
and Castro sit down meeting. Obama sadly has an up and vocal delivery up
and down melody, but his voice was flat. Castro acted like he was at a birthday
party. His body language was up, animated, friendly and energetic. Castro made
broad sweeping gestures and Obama made matching friendship cues. Obama leaned
toward Castro and faced him directly. We move close to and give our heart
towards what we like.
Obama
and Nazarbayev - The president of Kazakhstan presses his lips tightly
together. For the photo Obama has a forced teeth bared grin that’s more
aggressive but he goes into a tight flat lipped suppressed emotion facial
expression.
"He's
letting the world know he is not very happy with Putin" explained Body
Language Expert Patti Wood.
While most politicians have their "game face" that shows that nothing bothers them, Wood said Obama made the choice to use his body language to express his feelings toward Putin on Monday.
Overall, Wood described, Obama used "a cluster of cues" to tell Putin "I don't respect and honor you enough to give you my time, to enjoy this process or enjoy this moment. I'm being forced to do this"
While Wood explained that Obama has been more likely to show his displeasure in certain situations than other Presidents she has observed "this was really obvious."
"It is highly unusual to show that much emotion," Wood noted.
Wood described Obama's body language "was more disgust than displeasure it was more profound he made the choice to say I'm displeased, I'm disgusted, I don't want to have a relationship with you."
"Obama feels strongly enough to show his feelings to the entire world," Wood said, and everyone is paying attention.
"The whole world is noticing this," Wood commented.
Obama appeared pained to even be in the same room as Putin for a photo opportunity. Wood noticed that he didn't' walk all the way into the room where members of the press were eagerly snapping photos.
"Usually a handshake approach in those kinds of setting everything is slowed down for the camera Obama did a couple of things to make it short and brief."
Making the moment as short as possible, Wood said, Obama "showed his dislike and disrespect."
Keeping the photo opportunity brief was just one of the actions Obama took to show his disrespect for Putin, Wood noticed. Describing the handshake itself, Wood noticed Obama "swung out his fingers like he wanted to smack Putin up the side of his face."
Wood described the way Obama "flung out his fingers" as a "weapon gesture" which she said is not often seen in a stylized handshake.
Wood saw no indication that Putin was phased by Obama's cold demeanor. She noted that during the handshake "Putin went on top, to show his power and control and his dominance, that's just the way he is, that isn't purely situational."
Analyzing the smirk Putin was caught making while toasting with Obama during lunch, Wood explained that a smirk is an indication that a person is feeling one thing, but having to act in a different way. Putin's smirk, Wood analyzed was him thinking "I'm so much better than this, I'm so much smarter than them this is just ridiculous that I have to be here."
The notion of having to be present against their will may have been the only mutual feeling Obama and Putin shared Monday. Asked to sum up the interactions between the two world leaders Wood described them as "forced."
While most politicians have their "game face" that shows that nothing bothers them, Wood said Obama made the choice to use his body language to express his feelings toward Putin on Monday.
Overall, Wood described, Obama used "a cluster of cues" to tell Putin "I don't respect and honor you enough to give you my time, to enjoy this process or enjoy this moment. I'm being forced to do this"
While Wood explained that Obama has been more likely to show his displeasure in certain situations than other Presidents she has observed "this was really obvious."
"It is highly unusual to show that much emotion," Wood noted.
Wood described Obama's body language "was more disgust than displeasure it was more profound he made the choice to say I'm displeased, I'm disgusted, I don't want to have a relationship with you."
"Obama feels strongly enough to show his feelings to the entire world," Wood said, and everyone is paying attention.
"The whole world is noticing this," Wood commented.
Obama appeared pained to even be in the same room as Putin for a photo opportunity. Wood noticed that he didn't' walk all the way into the room where members of the press were eagerly snapping photos.
"Usually a handshake approach in those kinds of setting everything is slowed down for the camera Obama did a couple of things to make it short and brief."
Making the moment as short as possible, Wood said, Obama "showed his dislike and disrespect."
Keeping the photo opportunity brief was just one of the actions Obama took to show his disrespect for Putin, Wood noticed. Describing the handshake itself, Wood noticed Obama "swung out his fingers like he wanted to smack Putin up the side of his face."
Wood described the way Obama "flung out his fingers" as a "weapon gesture" which she said is not often seen in a stylized handshake.
Wood saw no indication that Putin was phased by Obama's cold demeanor. She noted that during the handshake "Putin went on top, to show his power and control and his dominance, that's just the way he is, that isn't purely situational."
Analyzing the smirk Putin was caught making while toasting with Obama during lunch, Wood explained that a smirk is an indication that a person is feeling one thing, but having to act in a different way. Putin's smirk, Wood analyzed was him thinking "I'm so much better than this, I'm so much smarter than them this is just ridiculous that I have to be here."
The notion of having to be present against their will may have been the only mutual feeling Obama and Putin shared Monday. Asked to sum up the interactions between the two world leaders Wood described them as "forced."
Video of their photo
opportunity is in the first few seconds of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=folI2lPsrgk
Nonverbally
in the presidents’ performances yesterday, Obama was self-confident and
appealed to his audience with engaging directness. Putin gazed downwards at his
notes as he spoke, kept his hands folded or resting on the podium. He was not
showing us he felt what he was saying. On the other hand, seemed inauthentic,
insincere and because of the way he used the reading to keep his head down
shamed or in hiding. Obama made a much more confident speech using direct eye
contact with listeners and using his usual melodious speech patterns and
expensive palm-up gestures. He was passionate. Obama’s body language and voice
was more personal and open. Putin was more secretive. He did not have the
gravitas of his actual spoken words. The script was powerful, but he didn’t
deliver it with confidence and power. Shoulder shrugs and trapezius
muscle contracts when we are afraid or uncertain or feel a need to protect the
head.
Watch
the video from the meeting with the Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov and
Russian Foreign Minister, He kept his head away from Kerry. I would assume he
had the normal double Teleprompters, but he only looked to his right in a way
that was away from Kerry as he read. There was not energy in his voice.
Lavrov’s shoulders were down, slouch is norm, but he is not blustering or
proud. He is reading, “Secretary of State John Kerry first, after Russia
started bombing Syria”… big shoulder shrugging off the tension of the moment.
It’s very odd, because it’s very big and quick. That’s fear when he does it a
second time with a self-comfort body swing like a boxer about to go into a big
fight. See how Kerry’s face has that downward, tight cover smile. Kerry does a
tongue thrust of slight aggression.
Interesting
that they used each other’s first names.
Kerry
also does this odd scratching with his notes under his arm anxiety cues.
When
Kerry spoke he checked in with Sergei looking back over his shoulder at him.
That was in stark contrast to Sergeis’ delivery.
How Do We Become More Sympathetic and Helpful? What Creates Good Character?
What
Creates Good Character?
Relationship between
sympathy, helping others could provide clues to development of altruism
Recently one of my
book groups read David Brooks, “The Road to Character.” It was a fascinating
book though I didn't feel the people he chose to write about had character in
the way I define it, they did help others through good work. This research
article shares insights into how helping others can build sympathy.
Research could help inform interventions to promote positive
behaviors in adolescents
Date September 29, 2015
Source: University of Missouri-Columbia
Summary: Developmental psychologists long have debated
whether individuals volunteer and help others because they are sympathetic or
whether they are sympathetic because they are prosocial. Now, new research
helps clarify some of the confusion.
Developmental
psychologists long have debated whether individuals volunteer and help others
because they are sympathetic or whether they are sympathetic because they are
prosocial. Now, new research from the University of Missouri helps clarify some
of the confusion, which could lead to better interventions to promote positive
behaviors in adolescents and clues as to what makes some individuals
altruistic.
"As researchers,
we've known about the link between sympathy and prosocial behavior, such as
volunteering and helping others, for a long time, but we didn't have much
evidence about the nature of the relationship," said Gustavo Carlo,
Millsap Professor of Diversity in MU's College of Human Environmental Sciences.
"We demonstrated that a reciprocal relationship existed between prosocial behaviors and
sympathy for adolescents from ages 12 to 16. Sympathy predicted prosocial
behaviors, but also engaging in earlier prosocial behaviors positively
predicted later sympathy."
Engaging in prosocial behaviors has a self-reinforcing quality that eventually
may become incorporated into how adolescents view their moral selves; this may
help explain how some individuals, over time, become more likely to engage in
prosocial behaviors and become more sympathetic, Carlo said.
"This research has tremendous implications for understanding those
individuals who we think of as moral exemplars, individuals who commit
themselves to certain causes or other forms of generosity -- people such as
Mahatma Ghandi, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King Jr. and others," Carlo
said. "We want to know which developmental processes led these individuals
to eventually manifest altruistic behaviors that set them apart from other
individuals. For every one of those individuals who became famous, thousands of
others exist who are doing fantastic work and helping to improve our society on
a day-to-day basis."
For the study, the researchers recruited 500 12-year-olds to answer questions
about sympathy and prosocial behaviors. The researchers questioned the
adolescents four more times, each about a year apart, to observe changes in the
adolescents' behavior and sympathy over time. The researchers observed a
decline in sympathy among boys in early adolescence, but a steady increase
followed the dip as the boys matured. Girls had higher levels of sympathy and
prosocial behaviors at all ages.
To increase prosocial behaviors among adolescents, and among boys in
particular, attention should focus on changing the societal environment so it
encourages boys and girls to express their prosociality, Carlo said.
"Unfortunately, in our society, the pressures for boys to act tough and to
not express what's seen as a sign of weakness is suppressing prosocial
behaviors," Carlo said. "We need to pay attention to adolescents'
contexts and their socialization groups. Prosocial behaviors clearly are
natural tendencies, and unfortunately, some cultural contexts make it difficult
for adolescents to express those tendencies, which should be signs of strength
and not weakness. We need to get that message across and make it easier for
kids to express what's innately inside of them."
Story Source:
The above post is reprinted from materials provided by University of
Missouri-Columbia. Note:
Materials may be edited for content and length
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Engaging in prosocial behaviors has a self-reinforcing quality that eventually may become incorporated into how adolescents view their moral selves; this may help explain how some individuals, over time, become more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors and become more sympathetic, Carlo said.
"This research has tremendous implications for understanding those individuals who we think of as moral exemplars, individuals who commit themselves to certain causes or other forms of generosity -- people such as Mahatma Ghandi, Cesar Chavez, Martin Luther King Jr. and others," Carlo said. "We want to know which developmental processes led these individuals to eventually manifest altruistic behaviors that set them apart from other individuals. For every one of those individuals who became famous, thousands of others exist who are doing fantastic work and helping to improve our society on a day-to-day basis."
For the study, the researchers recruited 500 12-year-olds to answer questions about sympathy and prosocial behaviors. The researchers questioned the adolescents four more times, each about a year apart, to observe changes in the adolescents' behavior and sympathy over time. The researchers observed a decline in sympathy among boys in early adolescence, but a steady increase followed the dip as the boys matured. Girls had higher levels of sympathy and prosocial behaviors at all ages.
To increase prosocial behaviors among adolescents, and among boys in particular, attention should focus on changing the societal environment so it encourages boys and girls to express their prosociality, Carlo said.
"Unfortunately, in our society, the pressures for boys to act tough and to not express what's seen as a sign of weakness is suppressing prosocial behaviors," Carlo said. "We need to pay attention to adolescents' contexts and their socialization groups. Prosocial behaviors clearly are natural tendencies, and unfortunately, some cultural contexts make it difficult for adolescents to express those tendencies, which should be signs of strength and not weakness. We need to get that message across and make it easier for kids to express what's innately inside of them."
The above post is reprinted from materials provided by University of Missouri-Columbia. Note: Materials may be edited for content and length
President Obama and Putin's Body Language During United Nations Meeting in New York.
President Obama and
Putin's Body Language during United Nations Meeting in New York
I did a piece this morning for ABC News on the body language of
President Obama and President Putin during their time together at
the United Nations in New York.
Here is the piece followed by the videos I analyzed. http://bit.ly/1KJ09ir.
Body language expert:
Obama's disgust' on display in 'forced' encounters with Putin
By Amanda
Ota Tuesday, September 29th 2015
United States President
Barack Obama, right, and Russia's President Vladimir Putin pose for members of
the media before a bilateral meeting Monday, Sept. 28, 2015, at United Nations
headquarters. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)
WASHINGTON (SINCLAIR BROADCAST GROUP) — President Obama is done playing politics when it comes to Russian President Vladimir Putin, based on his interactions with the world leader at the United Nations on Monday.
"He's letting the world know he is not very happy with Putin" explained Body Language Expert Patti Wood.
While most politicians have their "game face" that shows that nothing bothers them, Wood said Obama made the choice to use his body language to express his feelings toward Putin on Monday.
Overall, Wood described, Obama used "a cluster of cues" to tell Putin "I don't respect and honor you enough to give you my time, to enjoy this process or enjoy this moment.. I'm being forced to do this"
While Wood explained that Obama has been more likely to show his displeasure in certain situations than other Presidents she has observed "this was really obvious."
"It is highly unusual to show that much emotion," Wood noted.
Wood described Obama's body language "was more disgust than displeasure it was more profound he made the choice to say I'm displeased, I'm disgusted, I don't want to have a relationship with you."
"Obama feels strongly enough to show his feelings to the entire world," Wood said, and everyone is paying attention.
"The whole world is noticing this," Wood commented.
Obama appeared pained to even be in the same room as Putin for a photo opportunity. Wood noticed that he didn't' walk all the way into the room where members of the press were eagerly snapping photos.
"Usually a handshake approach in those kinds of setting everything is slowed down for the camera Obama did a couple of things to make it short and brief."
Making the moment as short as possible, Wood said, Obama "showed his dislike and disrespect."
Keeping the photo opportunity brief was just one of the actions Obama took to show his disrespect for Putin, Wood noticed. Describing the handshake itself, Wood noticed Obama "swung out his fingers like he wanted to smack Putin up the side of his face."
Wood described the way Obama "flung out his fingers" as a "weapon gesture" which she said is not often seen in a stylized handshake.
Wood saw no indication that Putin was phased by Obama's cold demeanor. She noted that during the handshake "Putin went on top, to show his power and control and his dominance, that's just the way he is, that isn't purely situational."
Analyzing the smirk Putin was caught making while toasting with Obama during lunch, Wood explained that a smirk is an indication that a person is feeling one thing, but having to act in a different way. Putin's smirk, Wood analyzed was him thinking "I'm so much better than this, I'm so much smarter than them this is just ridiculous that I have to be here."
The notion of having to be present against their will may have been the only mutual feeling Obama and Putin shared Monday. Asked to sum up the interactions between the two world leaders Wood described them as "forced."
Video of their photo
opportunity is in the first few seconds of this:
Video of them clinking glasses appears in the beginning of this video: http://www.reuters.com/video/2015/09/29/obama-putin-clash-over-working-with-syri?videoId=365761047&mod=related&channelName=politicsNews
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Weird Boss Behaviors You Shouldn't Overthink
Weird Boss Behaviors You Shouldn't Overthink
So
your manager's email style is questionable. Cut her some slack.
Before
freaking out over your manager's frequent late arrivals to your meetings, find
out why she is tardy.
What would you give to be able to call out
your boss on every annoying thing he or she does? What percentage of your
paycheck, part of your soul or expendable phalanges would you sacrifice for the
freedom to threaten to fire her if she's late to another one of your meetings?
Of course, these aren't questions your
manager has to dwell on. She's allowed to point
out all your not-so-endearing quirks – free of charge for her and
her soul. You, on the other hand – or rather, on the other end of the totem
pole – are typically better letting her frustrating habits slide. But before
diving into another firing fantasy, ask yourself: How big of a deal is it,
really, that she's late to your meetings?
Maybe it seems like a grander gesture than
it really is, because managers' actions and words often feel loaded to
employees. Skip Weisman, leadership and workplace communication expert, gives
an example about a manager he trains: The manager's employees pointed out that
every time the team comes to her with an issue, she lets out a sigh. Tiny
breath, huge effect. From the manager's point of view, the sigh is for her –
it's a beat where she can adjust to the new situation and wrap her head around
a solution. But to the employees, it seemed like the manager was exasperated or
even angry that they handed her the issue.
"Bosses have a huge impact on the
people below them," Weisman says. So you're probably not the only one
keeping track of how often your boss arrives late to your meetings or obsessing
over a six-word request he emailed you. Some things you have to just let fly,
and others may be worth mentioning.
Here's a guide to a few common, but weird,
boss behaviors:
Your boss's emails are always short – curt,
even. You
spend 20 minutes crafting the perfect project-update email to your manager. You
triple-check the facts and obliterate
typos. You obsess over word choice. You suffer a near breakdown debating
between "Hi Bob," "Hello Bob," "Hey Bob" or the
always-bold (but too bold?) "Bob –."
And then – behold – your boss's reply:
"Sounds good." Or: "Thnaks" Or: "K."
Or
maybe it's your boss emailing you first, with fewer words than most texts:
"Please [do X]." End of email. That's it. "They make a request,
and then they're done," says Patti Wood, body language and communication
expert and author of "Snap: Making the Most of First Impressions, Body
Language & Charisma." "There's no preamble; there's no small
talk; there's no 'how are the kids' kind of thing." It feels a lot like a
pre-breakup epiphany: I'm putting so much more effort into this (email)
relationship than he is.
For better or for worse, those short, seemingly careless emails may be pretty typical of bosses. In 2012, Eric Gilbert, an assistant professor in Georgia Institute of Technology's School of Interactive Computing, published a study that analyzed emails between Enron employees. He found that people often vary their communication styles depending on if they're writing to a boss versus a colleague or subordinate. For example, emails he analyzed from bosses to employees were more likely to contain spelling errors. And emails sent to bosses were less likely to show "cognitive process" – working out a problem as you type – than emails to subordinates or colleagues. In other words: You're not the only one who will pine over an email to a boss before sending, but then bang one out to your colleague. (And your boss isn't the only one who makes typos.)
For better or for worse, those short, seemingly careless emails may be pretty typical of bosses. In 2012, Eric Gilbert, an assistant professor in Georgia Institute of Technology's School of Interactive Computing, published a study that analyzed emails between Enron employees. He found that people often vary their communication styles depending on if they're writing to a boss versus a colleague or subordinate. For example, emails he analyzed from bosses to employees were more likely to contain spelling errors. And emails sent to bosses were less likely to show "cognitive process" – working out a problem as you type – than emails to subordinates or colleagues. In other words: You're not the only one who will pine over an email to a boss before sending, but then bang one out to your colleague. (And your boss isn't the only one who makes typos.)
So
try not to read too much into succinct emails – not that there are many words
to read into, anyway. When managers shoot off these quick replies and requests,
"they think they're being expedient and using their time
effectively," Wood says. She adds that, in some situations, the
succinctness can be interpreted as flattering. Your manager doesn't
need to hold your hand through a five-paragraph email or outline every
detail of a request or reply. "Think of it like: 'OK, they sent this to me
because I can take care of it,'" she says.
He yells more than speaks. Remember that old
"Saturday Night Live" Weekend Update segment in which Will Ferrell
plays a guest who can't control the volume of his voice and thus yells
everything he says? Maybe your boss suffers the same fictional "voice
immodulation" disease.
Wood
says speaking too loudly is sometimes a trait of the "driver"
personality type. "Inside their heads, they don't know how loud and
abusive it is," she says of these yellers. "They're trying to be
expedient – and guess what? It works." (For a real-life example, consider
a presidential candidate whose name rhymes with "rump.")
To be clear, there's a difference between
being loud and being abusive. (Here's a real example of a boss
whose yelling is a form of abuse, along with tips for how to cope.) One way to decide if you should
forgive this yelling as a personality trait or take it personally is to observe
how your boss speaks to everyone else. If he is yelling only at you, that's a
problem, Wood says. But if he does that with everyone, she says "it really
doesn't have anything to do with you." And if your boss has otherwise
nurtured an open, cooperative environment, you might want to gently point out
the issue to him, she adds.
Laura McMullen is
the Careers editor at U.S. News and was previously a Health + Wellness
reporter. You can follow her on Twitter, connect with her
on LinkedIn, circle
her on Google+
or email her at lmcmullen@usnews.com.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com. Also check out Patti's YouTube channel at http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)