1. Tune in to your body.
2. Breath and send you self-love
3. Use self-talk to see things differently.
4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.
5. Congratulate yourself.
Step 1. Tune in to your body.
When you're critical of yourself, you are the critical-thinking brain in
your neocortex. You want to release the critic, turn it off so move to your
emotional brain, where body language and feeling are processed. So the first
step is to be inside your body. Be aware of how criticism may be negatively
affecting your body, then shift or change that aspect of your body language.
Next, you want to be aware of the physical signs of tension, so you can release
it before it develops any further. Body signals indicate increasing negatively
and what to do if you feel them.
- Tensing of muscles –move and
let go and relax your body moving from the feet up.
- Lowering your head - bring
your head up. Let it lift as if a balloon holds it.
- Your hands and arms and legs
are pulling in to make yourself smaller – bring your limbs out. Spread
your feet apart. Get big.
- A change in your breathing.
Perhaps your breath is shallower. -Breath deep.
- A change in voice tone or
volume, perhaps not talking at all, or a lowering of your volume and the
strength of your voice. ---- shout or sing and yell out something
positive.
Step 2. Take note of the message that you are sending yourself.
Realize you are in control. Say to yourself, "I am feeling negative
about ____ right now. I chose not to
let it get bigger, or I chose to let that thought go. Or I decided to change
that thought.
Step 3. Switch your negative message to positive self-talk to see
things differently.
Learn to use a different kind of self-talk. The exact same situation will
produce different emotions if you change your interpretation
Write out your negative message, then flip it and write the opposite
positive message.
Write out the negative message, then write anything that you like about
yourself and or are proud of.
- Say, "Hey, I can deal
with this.
- I'm a creative person, and I
may be stuck at this moment, but this moment will pass, and I will be in
flow again.
- I can stop this task for now
and shift to some task that brings me pleasure and confidence.
- True, things aren't going how
I planned, but being negative won't help. How shifts my thinking? Or how
can I still get something good/fun out of this?
Step 4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.
Do something to give yourself a physical release. Again, critical talk comes
from the hemisphere so do things that activate your Take a brisk walk, Turn on
some music and sing or dance. Go hear live music. Get in the car and take a
meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. You can breathe in slowly and
deeply. Play with your pet. You can imagine you are at the beach or in a meadow
or looking at a stream or mountain. Bounce a ball.
Focus on any improvement of your abilities. One step at a time is fine.
- Hey, I did that well. I am
really proud of me! YES!
Interviewed several times a week by national media outlets
for her expertise on nonverbal communication. Patti Wood. She is an
Atlanta-based consultant, speaker, and author. And speaks to Fortune 500
companies and associations on
communication including "
www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
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