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Tips for Preventing Bad Breath.
I am a body language expert. I know it sounds funny, but I am also known as an expert on chewing behavior as a result of my research as the spokes person for Wrigley’s Spearmint chewing gum and an expert on smiling from my research as the National Spokes person for the Natural dentist tooth care products. As a result of my research, I know a lot about bad breath and mouth issues.
Your mother probably told you to chew with your mouth closed, but she may not have added that chewing actually helps you release enzymes that help clean your mouth. To keep your teeth and breath clean you should chew all you food thoroughly. If your a late night snacker, like me, make sure you chew something crunchy like celery before you go to bed or have a nice long conversation with someone. Keep that mouth moving. For late night eating especially, foods like fruit and cheese are much better for your teeth than sticky candy and other sweets. In fact, sweet,sticky, foods like dried fruit should really only be eaten with a meal, not as a between meal snack. It sticks on your teeth and because you don’t have a full meal of chewing the bacteria builds up and causes bad breath. After you eat, bacteria in your mouth feeds off the food left on your teeth. This is one of the major causes of bad breath. In addition this bacteria forms acids which attack tooth enamel and cause tooth decay. Saliva is your body's natural defense against tooth decay. When you chew your mouth makes lots of saliva which helps wash the acids and food particles away more quickly to reduce the attack on your teeth and help prevent tooth decay.
Three recommendations. Chew healthy sugar free gum after a meal or sticky snack or sugary beverage. If you’re out at a restaurant take a big swig of water and swish it around your mouth to loosen food off your teeth and then swallow. This may sound silly, but research shows it really does help considerably. If your self conscious about swishing water at the table, you can even hide the tooth swishing behind a napkin or visit the restroom.
Finally, if your lucky enough to be at a nice restaurant ask for a sprig or parsley and chew on it. The leaves of fresh parsley are rich in chlorophyll and act as a powerful neutralizer of bad breath. Chlorophyll is an anti-mutagen that acts as a very good deodorizer. It is especially good at reducing garlic-odor.Chewing on parsley sprigs dipped in vinegar also helps combat bad breath. This when chewed and swallowed and helps in improving the digestion. The sprigs of Parsley when swallowed also help in reducing intestinal gases that may further reduce bad breath. There you go
Greeting and Goodbye touch rituals for couples
Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
Crazy dance at liverpool train station in london. t mobile
It is a beautiful example of isoprazism that is a pull towards the same energy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM
Isn't it great. I just love how people dancing makes you move and want to dance as well. I don't want to take photos of the experience on my phone, I want to be in the experience and live it myself.
Recorded live at Liverpool station in London
And the video of the back story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVFNM8f9WnI
Rush Limbaugh has a new first impression
I turned around to find the conservative, red tie wearing, voice of the far right wearing black pants and a black shirt with the buttons open at the top and a large V or skin showing! Oh my goodness! Who is this guy?, and what has he done with his conservative "branding."
I just checked out his website and sure enough there are tons of photos of Rush in his new getup. I guess as Rush says, "He hopes Obama doesn't do well." he wants to represent they guy riding into town wearing the black hat rather than the white one. What a change of image. Rush Limbaugh looking like a mafia Donn. As a media coach I am stunned. Perhaps all black attire is his way of showing he is in morning for our economy and current president and the democratic majority of the house. And hum let me see, maybe his more casual dress is to appeal to all his radio listeners who are at home because they are out of work. Maybe his next getup will be a bathrobe. No the mafia fits best. He is out to look powerful hip and intimidating. I am not a Limbaugh fan...but I am so intrigued by this big image makeover. Just button up a bit though big guy.
What body language does every happy couple need?
· Always make a loving ritual of hello’s and goodbyes. That means coming from wherever you are in the house to greet your spouse with a kiss and or a hug hello when they come home. Go to them immediately, even if you are on the phone, cooking, or online. By immediately going towards each other to touch, your are communicating to your partner that he or she is the most important thing to you. You are saying nonverbally, "You come first." Greetings are designed to let someone who has left the tribal cave for the day know everything is safe in the home and they are welcome back in. It is wired into our primal brains that we should be on guard until we are warmly welcomed into a space. If fact, couples are more likely to argue later if there wasn’t a warm welcome home. In addition, kissing and or hugging goodbye symbolically says, "I leave you with love." With a touch goodbye you anchor to your mate. So the last memory of he has of leaving the home is that he is y surrounded by love. Touching on greeting and with goodbyes are small rituals with a big impact.
· Another recommendation is to eat at the table sitting kitty corner from one another at least once a week. Women like to sit face to face to read facial expressions and other nonverbal cues and men prefer to sit side by side so their hearts are not vulnerable. (physically and symbolically vulnerable) Sitting catty corner gives men more protection so they feel comfortable self disclosing and women enough access to their partners body language to feel at ease.
· The heart pumping love chemicals that couples produce when they are with each other reduce about two years into the relationship so if they haven't done it before, I recommend couples create a weekly adventure ritual. That mean going out and of having some kind of adventure or stimulating playing together. Whether it’s going someplace new, playing heart pumping board, or computer games, a fast paced who can make dinner fastest cooking contest in the kitchen, miniature golf with looser cleans the bathroom for a week, driving go carts, or snow skiing. Why? Because, exciting play increases the love chemicals monoamines including, dopamine, norepinephidrine, phenylethylamine (PEA) and serotonin. These chemicals basically, affect us like amphetamines, stimulants and painkillers. So they keep us feeling excited about our partner.
· I also recommend making love weekly. In the attachment sage of the relationship Oxytocin, the same chemical involved in childbirth and bonding to the infant, shows up in the blood of both men and women . Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both men and women. It has been postulated that the more sex the couple has, the more bonded they will become.
· In addition or sex and play I also recommend exercising together once a week Heart pumping hard exercising together, jogging, riding bikes, intense ball room dancing, etc. We release endorphins during and after sex. These give us that "feel good feeling" and exercise produces it too. Exercising together makes us associate feeling good with being with our partner.
Finally, I recommend a lock in once a month for 12 to 24 hours. You go into the bedroom for 24 hours, making sure to remove any electronic devises, TV, computers, IPods, cell phones. You stay in the room together without any external distractions. Your partner is it. Amazing to see what happens when there is no electronic device in between you and your sweetie.
nonverbal communication, baby and dog video
How to Become a Body Language Expert
It was so kind of you to contact me. Dr. Paul Ekman is my idol. I read his research in my first nonverbal class when I was 19 years old, I quoted his research on my Master’s and Doctoral exams and I have been sharing the results of his research with my audiences since I taught my first body language class at Florida State in the 80’s.
There are many ways to become an expert in any field and I will give you different paths to take. I will start with the most arduous and then give you easier routes.
Another path or mode of learning is to become a keen observer. Watch talk shows, look closely at the behavior. I have a chart in my Success Signals book that you can use to note when certain nonverbal behaviors occur and how many times they occur. One of the key times to watch is the pause before someone speaks. There are the micro expressions that Paul Ekman discovered that occur in that fraction of a second. They are the truthful expressions. Start looking for what people say, before the words come out. Then, observe what they do with their face movement and gestures and body, just as they finish speaking. There is the least amount of control at those moments so there is so much truth in those moments.
Don't over analyze your daily interactions; it will take you out of the real moment with people. It can make you crazy, or just make other people think you are crazy. Instead, observe as an outsider. Go the mall or the airport or the bookstore or coffeehouse or the grocery store and see if you can predict people’s next actions or get gut impressions of how people respond to waitress or cashier. For that matter, do something I do. Look for the nice people. For example, look at all the cashiers at Target, observe their nonverbal cues and decide which cashier will make your interaction the best. Personally, I look for the person who appears friendly, and present rather than an autotron. For you, that may mean choosing someone who is fast. Form an impression then predict their future behavior. Test your skills.
If someone wants a different kind of education please let them know I am taking on students for one on one coaching. I also take on student interns to work with me in my business.
Please let Dr. Ekman know I enjoy the television show and marvel at the accuracy of the nonverbal information. It is wonderful to have this show on the air for those of us who teach and have a passion for the field of nonverbal communication. If there is anything else you would like to know please feel free to call me.
The real origin of the handshake
At that point handshakes became weapons checks.
Nowadays, from signing a treaty to settling a bet with friends, "shaking on it" remains a symbolic sign of agreement.
For more about the handshake check out my book on my website. www.pattiwood.net
Lie to Me
Obama's voice and body language read
(i) Barack Obama How does he use his voice to project an impression? Rhythmical, very powerful, charismatic.
(ii) I just analyzed his voice as he did his victory speech at the Iowa Cacus back in January.
(iii) Barack Voice is naturally a deep full low baritone. Deep low voices are perceived, according to research, as more authoritative believable and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease at which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. Hilary voice as much as she tries to control it and make it lower is not naturally low and she strains it and sound screechy and angry when she attempts it.
(iv) Obama paralanguage is chameleon like he changes his voices so dramatically to suit his location his audience his topic that it is difficult to know no just what his real voice is but who is truly is.
(v) Listen how Obama cadence that rhythm that sounds like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words the word saaaaaaaid this day would never come. Preachers have a special rhythmic speaking were there voice goes up and down like a song and pauses on a beat rhythmically like a drummers reptile paradiddle on a drum.( demonstrate) When he does this his speaking is musical and very pleasing to the ear. We listen and moved by the rhythm so much we may not even hear the words; in fact the words may mean nothing.( and he didn’t really say anything new in the speech) But his voice is hypnotic. We know when his voice goes up and he pauses we must cheer and say amen. You can’t help your self. His other preacher speaking aspect copies the I had a dream, Listen how to volume goes up and up and up stirring the crowd and then he pauses for effect. He very effetely uses He uses the power of the pause he will say something like. He waits till the audiences cheers till he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause sound more powerful and important.
(vi) Barack Voice is naturally a deep full low baritone. Deep low voices are perceived, according to research, as more authoritative believable and trustworthy. Combine that with the ease at which he can speak loudly without any vocal strain and you can hear his voice coming from the TV in another room and feel its authority and power. Hilary voice as much as she tries to control it and make it lower is not naturally low and she strains it and sound screechy and angry when she attempts it.
(vii) Obama paralanguage is chameleon like he changes his voices so dramatically to suit his location his audience his topic that it is difficult to know no just what his real voice is who is truly is.
(viii) Listen how Obama cadence rhythm that sounds like a Baptist preacher. Listen to how he speaks on beat and extends certain words and he say ‘They saaaaaaaid this day would never come. Preachers have a special rhythm were there voice goes up and down like a song and pauses on a beat rhythmically drummers reptile paradiddle on a drum.( demonstrate) When he does this his speaking is musical and very pleasing to the ear. We listen and moved by the rhythm so much we may not even hear the words; in fact the words may mean nothing. The voice is hypnotic we just know when his voice goes up and he pauses we should cheer and say amen His other preacher speaking aspect copies the I had a dream, Listen how to volume goes up and up and up stirring the crowd and then he pauses for effect.
(ix) And listen for how he says particular words like said you small towns and churches Ameeerica, affooodablllee draws it out he puts on a slight southern more accent that slightly slurs the word. That makes him sound like one of the common folk. So even when we know he came from upper class family when he says, Callused hand by callused hand he sounds like he was with us working on the farm and ploughing the field.
(x) He very effetely uses He uses the power of the pause he will say waits till the audiences cheers till he moves on to the next sentence. Pausing makes the word before the pause and sometimes the entire sentence before the pause sound more powerful and important.
Top Ten Graduation Speech Quotes
J.K. Rowling -Writer
So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realized, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.
Steve Jobs-Stanford UniversityJune 14, 2005
“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”
Anna QuindlenMount Holyoke CollegeMay 23, 1999“But nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great ever came out of imitations. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
Katie Couric -TV Journalist
Be fearless. Have the courage to take risks. Go where there are no guarantees. Be fearless. Have the courage to take risks. Go where there are no guarantees. Get out of your comfort zone, even if it means being uncomfortable. The road less traveled is sometimes fraught with barricades, bumps, and uncharted terrain. But it is on that road where your character is truly tested…And have the courage to accept that you’re not perfect, nothing is, and no one is — and that’s OK
Oprah Winfrey -Talk show host
Your calling isn't something that somebody can tell you about. It's what you feel. It's a part of your life force. It is the thing that gives you juice. The thing that you are supposed to do. And nobody can tell you what that is. You know it inside yourself.... always take a stand for yourself. Your values, you are defined by what you stand for.
Paul Glaser -Actor and Director
It is said that only those that have experienced their own mortality through the loss of a loved one or a near death experience of their own can know that choice, because that is the greatest experience of our fear of helplessness; our mortality. I would venture to say that, while we may go to great lengths to deny it, we are quickly approaching a time when this fear, this extreme helplessness.. is showing itself in more and more ways as it bubbles, roils beneath a surface that we are ever determined to keep calm, controlled, and in place. Our fear is an anathema to us, and we go to great lengths to avoid it… to the detriment of our creativity, of our very act of being, and we sacrifice our ability to search, and in the accepting the security of the status-quo, to re -- search, to re--discover, to re -- attach to that body of knowledge of which we are all a part. To re-member, that which we all know and knew at the moment of our birth. We sacrifice our experience of ourselves to be created, and to be creative. And in the name of security we make choices away from our hearts, away from our real needs as individuals, and as a civilization
Ursula K. Le Guin Author
Mills College, 1983“Because you are human beings you are going to meet failure. You are going to meet disappointment, injustice, betrayal, and irreparable loss. You will find you’re weak where you thought yourself strong. You’ll work for possessions and then find they possess you. You will find yourself — as I know you already have — in dark places, alone, and afraid. What I hope for you, for all my sisters and daughters, brothers and sons, is that you will be able to live there, in the dark place. To live in the place that our rationalizing culture of success denies, calling it a place of exile, uninhabitable, foreign.” So what I hope for you is that you live there not as prisoners, ashamed of being women, consenting captives of a psychopathic social system, but as natives. That you will be at home there, keep house there, be your own mistress, with a room of your own. That you will do your work there, whatever you're good at, art or science or tech or running a company or sweeping under the beds, and when they tell you that it's second-class work because a woman is doing it, I hope you tell them to go to hell and while they're going to give you equal pay for equal time. I hope you live without the need to dominate, and without the need to be dominated. I hope you are never victims, but I hope you have no power over other people. And when you fail, and are defeated, and in pain, and in the dark, then I hope you will remember that darkness is your country, where you live, where no wars are fought and no wars are won, but where the future is. Our roots are in the dark; the earth is our country. Why did we look up for blessing - instead of around, and down? What hope we have lies there. Not in the sky full of orbiting spy-eyes and weaponry, but in the earth we have looked down upon. Not from above, but from below. Not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourished, where human beings grow human souls.
Salman Rushdie
Text of Commencement Address at Bard College, May 25th, 1996 by Salman Rushdie.
Members of the Class of 1996, we are here to celebrate with you one of the great days of your lives. We participate today in the rite of passage by which you are released from this life of preparation into that life for which you are now as prepared as anyone ever is. As you stand at the gate of the future, I should like to share with you a piece of information about the extraordinary institution you are leaving, which will explain the reason why it is such a particular pleasure for me to be with you today. In 1989, within weeks of the threat made against me by the mullahs of Iran, I was approached by the President of Bard, through my literary agent, and asked if I would consider accepting a place on the faculty of this college. More than a place; I was assured that I could find, here in Annandale, among the Bard community, many friends, and a safe haven in which I could live and work. Alas, I was not able, in those difficult days, to take up this courageous offer, but I have never forgotten that at a moment when red-alert signals were flashing all over the world, and all sorts of people and institutions were running scared, Bard College did the opposite - that it moved towards me, in intellectual solidarity and human concern, and made, not lofty speeches, but a concrete offer of help. I hope you will all feel proud that Bard, quietly, without fanfares, made such a principled gesture at such a time. I am certainly extremely proud to be a recipient of Bard's honorary degree, and to have been accorded the exceptional privilege of addressing you today….
It is men and women who have made the world, and they have made it in spite of their gods. The message of the myths is not the one the gods would have us learn - that we should behave ourselves and know our place - but its exact opposite. It is that we must be guided by our natures. Our worst natures can, it's true, be arrogant, venal, corrupt, or selfish; but in our best selves, we - that is, you - can and will be joyous, adventurous, cheeky, creative, inquisitive, demanding, competitive, loving, and defiant.
Do not bow your heads. Do not know your place. Defy the gods. You will be astonished how many of them turn out to have feet of clay. Be guided, if possible, by your better natures. Great good luck and many congratulations to you all.
Ray Bradbury Caltech
The Great Years Ahead
So, I've come a long way. I hope I have another 20 years to go. That gives you 20 years to get from here to Mars. That's the important thing. I've got to give you a few rules of hygiene here-very important for the next several days. You can do some of them tonight. First of all, from today on, none of you are ever going to have to watch local television news again, right? Don't look at it ever. Because it tells you how bad you are. It's full of rapes, murders, funerals, AIDS, all the good things, huh? So you're not to look at that.
Now, right after graduation today, make a list of the people who don't believe in you. And you have a few, don't you? I had plenty of people who told me not to do what I was going to do. You make a list this afternoon, of the people who don't believe in you, and you call them tonight, and tell them to go to hell!
And then you gather around you the people who do believe in you - your parents and a few friends, if you're lucky. We don't have many friends in this world; but the few that do believe in you - and then you move on into the future. I try to do that.
Anthony G. Collins -SUNY Jefferson Community College May 24, 2004
“The word ‘partner’ is often used when a child begins school. A kindergartener cannot make a move without finding his or her partner. The partner is the security blanket — the person who cushions insecurities and fears — the person who gives their hand when you fall. In summer swimming lessons at the beach, the lifeguard blows the whistle at regular intervals to do the buddy check — making sure everyone has a partner — someone to help in a time of need. Early on we recognize that others help to support and nurture us. We gain advantage by working together. Life is a vast network of partnerships in which all of us are givers and takers. Partnerships may well shape your career, your personal life, and ultimately define the mark you make in this world.”
Body Language Tips for Looking Younger
Body Language Tips for Looking Younger
1. Think lift and up. Wear collars on shirts that are crisp and go up to create lift around you face.
2. If you need to wear glasses get your glasses tightened regularly. Glasses that come down on your nose, even a little bit make you look much older. Keep your glasses tightened and high on your face. Again think up.
3. When you walk into an interview or a meeting hold your shoulder back and head up and sit up.
4. Make sure you make eye contact right away smile and put out your hand for a hand shake with extra energy. (I have done several years of research on handshakes. Check out my website or blog here for steps to get the perfect handshake.
5. As you share your ideas and information make sure your voice shows your energy and enthusiasm and hold the strength and volume of your voice all the way to the end of a sentence. As we age our vocal chords show their wear and our voices change and tend to sound rougher and we tend to lose volume at the end or sentences forcing people to not feel with are speaking with conviction and sometimes even saying, “Excuse me I didn’t hear you.”
6. Get your hearing and eyesight checked professionally. Do it now. Most people who need hearing aids wait nine years or more to get their hearing checked and longer than that to get a hearing aid. And if you are squinting because you are not wearing needed prescription lenses you don't look that cute and you are forming squinty wrinkles.(I made the term squinty wrinkles up. It works so well.)
7. For men and woman make sure everything you wear is crisply presses, no wrinkles no wear on your shoes or belts. You have to make sure your clothes and accessories don’t symbolically say you are old or used or tired.
8. Make sure you are fashion current in colors style and jewelry including your watches. If you’re not sure what’s current in professional clothing read a style magazine and go to a high end store like Nordstrom’s and look around and then go buy it at Timex or Marshalls.
It seems basic, but be careful how you sit in a chair. Research says that women perch, sitting on the edge of their seats, arching their backs, while men tend to slouch, relying more on the backrest. Woman don’t perch the entire time you look less powerful. Sit back in the chair and use lots of space and put you arms on the arm rest to look confident. Men don’t slouch the whole time; you may look lazy rather than vital and energetic. Sit forward slowly as you share certain information your confident in.
For Woman
9. If you can avoid using one, don’t carry a purse. It not only sends a strong female signal it gives you one more thing to worry about and fuss over. When woman sit down they usually have over 16 separate movements. Men have three and look much more together and organized. If you must carry something carry a folder or hip briefcase.
10. Make up for Woman. Make sure you do wear make-up, but make it light. I love Laura Mercie tinted moisturizer. If you wear eye shadow take your finger and lay it on the outside of eye and sweep any shadow up and out. If you wear eyeliner make sure it goes up slightly and the corner of your eye. When you put on blush make sure to use it sparingly and make it go up around your eyes never down. I suggest a cream blush as the new makeup style is dewy not dry and powdered. Be very careful of lipstick I draw around the edge with a very soft Estee Lauder lipstick pencil press my lips together and blend very well so it covers my entire lip and then I put on a light clear pink gloss. If I need all day coverage for my lipstick I use Max Factor Color Stay in a rose shade and put gloss on throughout the day. Don’t wear eyeliner on your bottom lip and don’t use mascara there it pulls the eye down and makes it look tired and older.
11. Make sure you hair is healthy shiny and glossy. Get your hair trimmed more often than you use to so you don't have straggly ends and go to your nearest Sally Beauty Supply or Ultra Cosmetics and ask them for a product to make your hair shinny.
12. Woman put nice flattering color around your face hot pink, pink peach, salmon, cobalt blue whatever makes your skin glow and you feel good.
A-Rods body language durring Katie Couric interview was he lying?
Of course everyone wants to know if he lied as he said no three times. And I think if you have seen the clip your gut told you he was lying. Let me share the body language cues that you where seeing that made us feel he was lying. First let me start by saying in a real deception detection interview you must get a baseline for normal behavior. I watched A-Rod in other television interviews where he had no reason to be overly nervous as well as more recent interviews so that I could see what he looked like and sounded like and even took note of his normal amount of words he used in response to questions before I watched the critical clip. In the Katie Couric interview he was unusually tense. The lower torso is the best indication of someone’s true emotional state as it under less conscious control. His legs were pulled back under his chair rather thaand the left side of his mouth twisted up. The left side of the face is controlled by the emotional right hemisphere so can “leak” out someone true feelings even when the liar is able to control the more logical conscious part of the brain in front of him as someone powerful, who is confident in his innocence would have typically been. In addition his hands were clasped in front of him, so he was symbolically holding his own hands something I didn’t see in any other the other interviews of him that I watched and not typical of a “celebrity interview” period. Hand clasping is a big tell. Also his face showed a lot of tension especially around the mouth. If you are a regular reader of my blog you know that I call the mouth the window of the truth. His mouth was shut and the outer edges of his lips were tense. His stare was also intense. He was working very hard to make eye contact. It is interesting to note that extroverts like A-Rod “over extrovert” when they are lying.
In deception detection the timing of a cue is the best “tell” that someone may be lying. You need to watch closely to see what the baseline behavior is and when it changes. When Katie was asking his first questions about his steroid use he stared until she said the word “steroid” then his eyes briefly closed in an eye block. He did another eye block as Katie finished saying human growth hormone then when he responded to her question if he had used the steroids by saying, “no." the left side of the lips on the left side of his face twisted up very briefly to show he was not confident in his response. The left side of the face is controlled by the emotional right hemisphere (more scientifically the limbic brain (the neocortex) so it can “leak” out someone true feelings even when the liar is able to control the more logical and conscious part of the brain. He also did another eye block as he responded and pursed his lips slightly as if he had just tasted something sour, perhaps the taste of his lie. When he was asked by Katie, “Have you ever been tempted…?” His head pulled back quickly in a flight response tell. He then said no as his head came down first in micro facial cue of no, just before he shook his head no. His mouth twisted again as she went deeper and said. “Tempted…other guys are getting better numbers.” At the end of his long response to this question he said, “I don’t have trouble competing at any level…pause no” the left side of his mouth came up in significant twist. If you watch the tape you will see just how conflicted that makes him look. And he does it again as he says, “It would be a huge black eye on the game of base ball.” Yep, a black eye on the game as A-Rod closed his eyes twists his mouth showing us his truth. Of course everyone wants to know if he lied as he said no three times. And I think if you have seen the clip your gut told you he was lying. Let me share the body language cues that you where seeing that made us feel he was lying. First let me start by saying in a real deception detection interview you must get a baseline for normal behavior. I watched A-Rod in other television interviews where he had no reason to be overly nervous as well as more recent interviews so that I could see what he looked like and sounded like and even took note of his normal amount of words he used in response to questions before I watched the critical clip. In the Katie Couric interview he was unusually tense. The lower torso is the best indication of someone’s true emotional state as it under less conscious control. His legs were pulled back under his chair rather than the left side of his mouth twisted up. The left side of the face is controlled by the emotional right hemisphere so can “leak” out someone true feelings even when the liar is able to control the more logical conscious part of the brain in front of him as someone powerful, who is confident in his innocence would have typically been. In addition his hands were clasped in front of him, so he was symbolically holding his own hands something I did nott see in any other the other interviews of him that I watched and not typical of a “celebrity interview” period. Hand clasping is a big tell. Also his face showed a lot of tension especially around the mouth. If you are a regular reader of my blog you know that I call the mouth the window of the truth. His mouth was shut and the outer edges of his lips were tense. His stare was also intense. He was working very hard to make eye contact. It is interesting to note that extroverts like A-Rod “over extrovert” when they are lying.
In deception detection the timing of a cue is the best “tell” that someone may be lying. You need to watch closely to see what the baseline behavior is and when it changes. When Katie was asking his first questions about his steroid use he stared until she said the word “steroid” then his eyes briefly closed in an eye block. He did another eye block as Katie finished saying human growth hormone then when he responded to her question if he had used the steroids by saying, “no." the left side of the lips on the left side of his face twisted up very briefly to show he was not confident in his response. The left side of the face is controlled by the emotional right hemisphere (more scientifically the limbic brain (the neocortex) so it can “leak” out someone true feelings even when the liar is able to control the more logical and conscious part of the brain. He also did another eye block as he responded and pursed his lips slightly as if he had just tasted something sour, perhaps the taste of his lie. When he was asked by Katie, “Have you ever been tempted…?” His head pulled back quickly in a flight response tell. He then said no as his head came down first in micro facial cue of no, just before he shook his head no. His mouth twisted again as she went deeper and said. “Tempted…other guys are getting better numbers.” At the end of his long response to this question he said, “I don’t have trouble competing at any level…pause no” the left side of his mouth came up in significant twist. If you watch the tape you will see just how conflicted that makes him look. And he does it again as he says, “It would be a huge black eye on the game of base ball.” Yep, a black eye on the game as A-Rod closed his eyes twists his mouth showing us his truth.
More on A-rods body language of lying in Katie interview
What hugs mean a nonverbal interpretation
At least two times in the last month I have observed (in my close presence) two sets of two co-workers one male, and one female who had not seen each other in some time who hugged emphatically. In each case, the individuals were very glad to see each other -- it took me by surprise.
Since this is something I would never do, I was wondering if I could read any thing into it.
I responded. I did research on hugging in my doctoral program and as you might guess so much depends on how the hug was given and received, what parts of the body made contact with other parts and how long the hug lasted. It is even important to watch the facial expressions of the people as they are hugged and how their fingers grip or rest on the other person. In general, upper body hugs are typically friends ship hugs and full body with the lower torso pushed forward can indicate sexual intimacy.
'Hugging while briefly touching cheek-to-cheek hug is the typical celebrity socialite hug when someone does not want to add a more intimate kiss on the lips. that says "I Love You" even more with an added kiss on the lips.
Hugging while Resting gently and lingering cheek to cheek is much more intimate.
Tepee hug. Hugging with just the upper body with the torso actually pulled away and the rear end pushed back is a hug that emphasizes friendship rather than sexuality.
A Big Bear hug is defined by the arms being wrapped fully around the person and being pulled in tight with a quick but tight secure squeeze. This shows enthusiasm for seeing someone and can also show someones need to show power over or protection of the huggee.
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Spoon Hug-While not normally thought of as a hug, when you spoon one partners arms are often wrapped around the other as you lie in bed on your side with the huggers front pressed up against the full back and torso on the hugge. .
Feel better hug- I just gave this hug to a friend yesterday who was laid off last week. I didn't even think about it I just wanted to pull him in close and with my arms wrapped around his shoulders and let my full palms rest there and linger a bit longer with a almost rubbing motion as I pulled away. I didn't pat, because guys don't typically like patting it makes them feel mothersmothered.
Is A-Rod lying. A body language read of Katie Courack interview
Is A Rod lying a body language read of Katie interview
Is A Rod lying a body language read
Interview of body language with Health Magazine
Love how photo shop can change your body language
lie to me
the skill of reading body langauge
Since I was a small child I was able to read peoples body language and know what they were thinking and feeling. I ended up with degrees in nonverbal communication. Originally I interned as a counselor but since I pick up on the deep emotions of people as I “read” them that was taxing so In my case that has led to a job as a speaker, trainer and coach. I also work with law enforcement and the media reading people live and through video and still photos(see website for details) and sales people, health care workers and so many others who can use the unusual skills of reading body language. For my full story, How I became a body language expert, please go to my website at www.Pattiwood.net t
Ranking of Importance of Communication Skills
USA Today ranked communication skills #1 among a list of twelve success factors (Problem solving and an understanding of organizational structure ranked #2 and #3 respectively)
The Lamille Report of Top Executives ranked communications skills #1 among a list of ten success factors (Intelligence and integrity ranked #2 and #3 respectively)
A Society for Human Resource Management poll conducted in conjunction with the Wall Street Journal confirmed that "soft skills" now top the career success factor list for experienced employees
A study by the Center for Creative Leadership identified command of soft skills as the leading determinant of successful change management for executives
A study by Office Team concluded sixty-seven percent of HR managers would hire a candidate with strong soft skills whose technical abilities were lacking. Only nine percent would hire someone with strong technical expertise but weak interpersonal skills
What Does Playing with a Wedding Ring Mean
Body Language and Wedding Rings
Here are the notes I sent to the reporter answering her questions...
What does it mean when someone stops wearing his or her wedding ring. Does it always spell trouble? Why would any women do this? Is this a way to punish your spouse or send a message? What about men who don’t wear rings? Or is it just a trend and is of little significance?
After all, when Madonna stepped out minus the wedding band, the media speculated that her union was on the rocks - and they were right. What does it mean if you just switch the ring in favor of a splashy art deco ring just for the night - like Michelle Obama did?
Anytime a woman takes off her wedding ring it sends a powerful message. A wedding ring symbolizes your bond and union. A woman can do it as a passive aggressive message. Jennifer Lopez is symbolically saying something is wrong. Some women take off the ring for an event to say symbolically "I am my own person." Some take it off to say silently, “my husband broke our bond by being unfaithful.” Some women take off their wedding ring to say, “I am available again.” No matter what the reason, a woman not wearing a wedding ring is rarely just a fashion statement. In rare cases, not wearing a wedding ring may be necessary because the person has problems with his or her fingers swelling or the ring is lost, but a women caught without her ring will usually speak to those extenuating circumstances immediately. In J-Lo’s case I think the fact that she is not wearing her ring shows a message that there are problems. In Michelle’s case I believe it was to show that she is an independent, powerful woman on her own. Typically, women are socially rewarded for their relationships and men for their work and independence. Women start their sentences with "we" much more often than men. That gender difference is dramatic. When a man wears a ring he is saying, “I am proud of my bond.” When he takes it off he is saying, " I am open to other offers."
I would love to hear your thoughts and comments!
The Washington Post described Patti as, "The Babe Ruth of Body Language." and the New York Times credited her with bringing the topic to national attention. A professional speaker, author and body language expert she reads the nonverbal cues of world leaders, celebrities, criminals, business leaders and the world at large. She has been interviewed on: The BBC, CNN, FOX news, PBS, The History Channel, E!, The Discovery Channel, US Weekly, USA Today, Psychology Today, Cosmopolitan and many more. Time Magazine recognized her nonverbal communication course at Florida State University as a top college course in the US. Patti has been researching, writing and speaking on the topic since 1982. Her latest book is "Success Signals Understanding Body Language" and can be found at http://www.pattiwood.net/.
How did you play as a child?
I would love to know how you played and if your childhood play effected what you choose to do as an adult.
I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. I use to do “shows” as a kid. I would be Herman of the Hermits and sing and dance with my friends on the porch of our house. I was Queen of the Cooties on the playground and the leader of all the games, whether it was who can make the biggest bubble with the bubble maker, built the best fort, or who can make the snowman that last the longest on the lawn. From forth grade on I also loved to watch people and I would write little poems and songs about what I saw, I carried a little notebook with me all the time from forth grade till college and filled it with my fun observations. And even learned to play the guitar so I could sing them. I loved playing and I loved the game of watching people and trying to figure out their secret story. Now I get to do it all my favorite play as living. I am a body language expert and I am a professional speaker and trainer and get to play with my audiences. (See my website for videos of how much fun we have.)
Nonverbal Communication and phone calls
ons' Tone of Voice: a clue to Malpractice History'. surgery, 2002.132.)
I have written about voice before. Today I want to share that that unique voice print is a wondrous thing. The ability to hear one word over the phone and identify it is remarkable.
There is another part of the distinctive tremors and pitches of the voice. That is the ability to hear a single word and know what is going on with the person. How many times have you called someone and known from the first word out of their mouth that something was wrong?
Y generation and the next gen recommendations
When your boss is younger than you, don’t say your favorite song is, “I Want You.” By Peter Frampton, or say you use to play his live album on your record player.
You will be met with a blank stare that tells your past is now part of the twilight zone of “old people talk.”
Former Boss on consulting project who was 22 and I was 46
Gen Y folks are disengaged. Do you agree?
There’s another e-word besides the economy that’s still the talk of Corporate America: engagement. As in the lack of, according to a recent study by BlessingWhite. Over 7500 respondents report that 25% of Gen Y folks in North America are disengaged. Good news: we beat China (33%), Southeast Asia (35%) and the UK with Ireland (at 30%). Why do you care? Because even in this economy, Gen Y’s will bolt when they are bored and organizations will pay to reduce turnover. Good news for generational experts who come up with internal strategies to plug into Gen Y’s passion.
I was asked by a media source for tips for things the upcoming generation needs to pay attention to and work on as they enter the workforce. I actually got a bit cynical in this piece so forgive me.
Having taught at the university level for many years I think young adults need to
1. Understand the basics of financial planning, saving, credit card debt protection and just organizing their lives for the future.
2. Use your great energy and enthusiasm to build your relationships and career. Don’t waste it being a complainer standing on soap box ranting. Instead of tearing down move to action, make changes and create the work life and personal life you want.
3. Relationship and job success don’t come easily. When you make a mistake apologize and don’t do it again. When someone else makes a mistake forgive them and make it easy for them to change. Don’t end a relationship because of one mistake.
4. Learn to speak comfortably in face to face conversation. Human interaction requires and understanding of body language cues to read others and that you give out cues and show your positive and negative emotions. Read a good body language book, (Success Signals by Patti Wood)model the body language of good hearted people that you admire. Go online and study the proper etiquette for eating, parties, and gift giving then memorize them and use them.
5. Understand and be comfortable with conflict. Know how to have a productive though difficult conversation. Realize it is inappropriate to email or text a criticism or slam and it beyond rude to end a relationship, business or personal via text, email or voice mail or on a phone call. If you have done so in the past, let it go and don’t ever do it again. “Everybody else does it.” is not a good excuse.
6. Understand that you can’t fast forward, hit the mute button, or hit save on a relationship. Real people need human interaction and nurturing and are not easily replaced just by hitting delete and
adding someone else to your face book.
7. Be respectful of your elders. That, “old foggy” in tech support may not know all you know about technology, but he or she may know a lot about life. Respect them, rather than treat them with condescension.
8. Keep up to date with where the business world is going and keep your skills current and be above be flexible. That is something my generation is having a hard time with. I know we may learn a lot about it from you.
Patti Wood, MA, CSPThe Body Language Expert
More on the body language at the Obama presidential inaguration
What do you think?
Check out my other posts on the inaguration and Obama.
on the blog or my website www. PattiWood.net
Inauguration Body Language Reads Continued...
Coming out of the white house to go the inauguration the "still president" Bush stepped behind Obama going down the stairs and then put his arm around and guided Obama down the stairs. This was particular interesting as I did a body language read of their first meeting after Obama was elected, for the New York Daily news, and in those photo stills Obama had his arm around Bush guiding him. This was Bush's last chance to look like the leader! Interesting, especially when you learn that Bush said something to the effect of, "Your on your own, go to your people for guidance" When Obama told Bush he was going to go to him for advice during his new presidency. Oddly this is what Bush senior said to Bush junior when Bush junior became president.
When Bush senior came down the steps he looked unusually ebullient. It was clear from his large smile and eye contact with the crowd of photographers that he was happy to be back in the limelight. You might have missed it but there was an odd moment that showed just how oddly happy Bush senior was as he came down the stairs he reached over and patted the rear end of one of the guards!
Former president Bill Clinton had his own "emotional moment" as he was entering the inauguration. When he was in the darkened hallway just before coming down the stairs his eyes wrinkled down and his mouth twisted back and down intensely as he held him his sadness. Then as he came out into the light and the crowd he lit up with his 'game face" with his great big charming smile and raised eyebrows. Hilary Clinton was calm her facial expression showed true power and pleasure. An interesting combination. I really admired that strength.
Soon to be president Obama's daughters came down the hallway and down the stairs walking several steps ahead of their grandmother, neither looking at her for comfort, support, or even acknowledging her. There posture was erect and lady like and very at ease. They seemed confident until it came to their seats. Then the youngest daughter sat down and had trouble with the blue blanket that was provided and then realized she should be standing. They kept looking at the immense crowds on the Mall. They where the only people filmed that seemed to acknowledge the incredible crowds.
When Obama came down the hallway you saw his face change from smile to a rather affected serious face. In fact I saw him put on the serious face and force it their. Odd that he chose to be serious instead of joyous throughout the inauguration.
More on the body lanuguage reads of inauguration...
Coming out of the white house to go the inaguration the "still president" steped behind Obama going down the stairs and then put his arm around him and guided Obama down the stairs. This was particular interesting as I did a body language read of their first meeting after Obama was elected for the New York Daily news and in those photo stills Obama had his arm around Bush guiding him. This was Bush's last chance to look like the leader! Interesting, especially when you learn that Bush said something to the effect of, "Your on your own, go to your people for guidance" When Obama told Bush he was going to go to him for advice durring his new presidency. Oddly this is what Bush senior said to Bush junior when Bush junior became president.
When Bush senior came down the steps he looked unusally ebulent. It was clear from his large smile and eye contact with the crowd of photographers that he was happy to be back in the limelight. You might have missed it but there was an odd moment that showed just how oddly happy Bush senior was> Asa he came down the stairs he reached over and patted the rear end of one of the guards!
Former president Bill Clinton had his own "emotional moment" as he was entering the inaguration. When he was in the darkened hallway just before comming down the stairs his eyes wrinkeled down and his mouth twisted back and down intensely as he held him his sadness. Then as he came out into the light and the crowd he lit up with his 'game face" with his great big charming smile and raised eyebrows. Hilary Clinton was calm her facial expression showed true power and pleasure. An interesting cobination. I really admired that strength.
Soon to be president Obama's daughters came down the hallway and down the stairs walking several steps ahead of their grandmother, niether looking at her for comfort, support, or even aknowleding her. There posture was errect and lady like and very at ease. They seemed confindent untill it came to their seats. Then the youngest daughter sat down and had trouble with the blue blanket that was provided and then realized she should be standing. They kept looking at the imense crowds on the Mall. They where the only people filmed that seemed to aknowledge the incrediable crowds.
When Obama came down the hallway you saw his face change from smile to a rather affected serious face. In fact I saw him put on the serious face and force it their. Odd that he chose to be serious instead of joyess throuout the inaguration. More tonight or tommrrow
Obama's Inauguration and Body Language
Embracing Femininity at Work As Featured in GlassHammer.com
Read this article where Patti is Quoted: http://www.pattiwood.net/article.asp?PageID=8244
And I invite you to come back and post your thoughts, questions and comments here!
That’s so rude!
I was sitting in a packed plane that was delayed on the ground for an hour. The guy sitting next to me was talking on his cell phone, quite loudly with his one night stand from the night before; about all the things they did...everything...in detail for over and hour. No request from me could make him stop he just got louder. Everyone around him was squirming as he kept talking using very explicit language and repeating the phrase, “You where so drunk last night.”
I am a professional speaker and set ground rules in my programs so people respect everyone in the audience and don't use their cell phones, type, twitter or do "hip checks" on the blackberry’s. I do that because I know how frustrating it feels to be an audience member when a fellow participant is being rude. At one convention a few years ago I stayed to here the next speaker. A guy in one of the front rows cell phone rang and he took the call and started talking got up walked down the center isle to the last row and paced the back of the room talking loudly on his cell phone. It’s as if the other 100 audience members where not there. AHHGGGG!
What are your “That’s so rude!” stories?