Why Black Women May
Smile Less and Get Angry Instead
Here are the rough notes from my response. Christenlyn.
Fascinating
- smiling is sign of
appeasement,
- people with lower status
smile more often to get what they want,
- Women smile more than men in
social settings.
- Men are often uncomfortable
when a women who typically smiles in not smiling. (I believe men who say,
"why aren't you smiling?' are concerned that a non-smiling women may
be angry or trying to assert power if she is not smiling. Each time I
taught my Women and Leadership workshops at the Wharton School of Business
I would ask how many men have said, "Why aren't you smiling," to
you and every woman would raise her hand.
Research also shows:
- High Status seemingly
"Powerful people" smile less, Male or Female
- Men with more testosterone
smile less and are quicker to respond with anger.
Here you have a fascinating and in some ways very sad, cultural
and racial switch. So a women says, "I can't smile if I want to be
powerful and accepted." to look tough and be accepted by my female peers
“I need to sneer, and look like a bitch."
An angry face does get a different response than an appeasing
smile. It can feel empowering. But at a great cost.
- A smile actually changes
your brain chemistry so you feel happier.
- The "facial feedback
loop" insures a smile is typically met with a smile from other
people.
- Women who smile are
typically seen as more friendly and more attractive
- Women who smile in the
yearbook photos are found to be happier 25 years later.
A sneer is a prickly protective armor. You won't be stomped on,
but you may keep people too far away to touch and hold you close. It may feel
like it empowers you. Tyler Perry gets laughs by showing angry bitchy sneering
non smiling women. The title character in the Stephan King movie Deloris
Clayborn says, "Sometimes being a bitch is all you have to hold on
to." sometimes the Black angry women in Tyler Perry's movies just
complain, but often the angry "bitch" is energized to powerful destructive
action. The iconic defiant sneer on the wife in the movie, "Waiting to
Exhale" comes to mind. She goes from a happy smiling wife to a sneering
ragging tiger getting mad enough at her unfaithful husband that she takes all
his clothes and goodies like his golf club and piles them on his Mercedes and
sets them on fire. The sneer on her face along with her defiant upraised chin
as she watches the flames climb seemed to say to Black Women, stop smiling and
taking it, get angry and start taking.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at
http://pattiwood.net/. Also check out the body language quiz on her YouTube Channel at
http://youtube.com/user/bodylanguageexpert.
