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What is the best Planner System? What Is a Great Planner Calendar Gratitude and Goal Setting System to Get Things Done?




In the morning I fill out the brown book, it’s called The Sunrise Manifesto. The Manifesto book has Morning Pages where you write and dump out all the thoughts cluttering your brain so they don’t block your creative flow. They are recommended in the famous creativity book The Artist's Way. The Manifesto also has a great gratitude and to-do page as well as goal-setting and monthly review pages.  I’ve been using the sunrise manifesto for years and recommend it to all my coaching clients.


I cut out and add the Sunrise Pages to A5 Lux planner (far right) and set tasks in that planner. Also in that planner, I have set up dividers and sections for the different books, speeches I am working on, and a songwriting section. If I have a big project with a client they may get a section in the paper planner.

I have my goals and tasks and copies of my sections and more on my computer calendar. I just enjoy writing and it helps me be creative and follow through. I use Microsoft calendar and it lets you color code. That calendar is typically open on the far left screen in my office. I have three screens. 

I’ve used Color Coding on my monthly calendar for decades. Now my detailed monthly calendars are on my computer with color coding. Color coding is the bomb. So for example appointments are a certain color of blue, and I have other colors for Zoom programs, In town programs, and out-of-town programs. Anything to do with music is purple! My volunteer work is another color. And fun with friends and family is yellow. That way I can look at my calendar and see if I don’t have enough of a particular color and plan accordingly. I always want more hot pink programs and more fun yellow.

I print out my detailed monthly computer calendar in A5 size and tape it into the A5 so it’ll be with me in my purse. It sounds cumbersome, but I enjoy that cutting, taping, and coloring.

At the end of the month, I transfer all the pages except for the monthly calendar from the sunrise manifesto and A5 pages to the big binder on the far left so my carry-around planner stays small.

At that time, even though I have everything on my computer I like to review the month. Flip through the pages and touch them. It gives me a tangible sense of accomplishment. I see what I was grateful for and sometimes I write to thank you notes if I was grateful for a person. Though a gratitude journal makes it easy to say you’re to the person immediately.

And then I start resetting goals for the next month.

I used to write a blog that had a monthly post of every book I read and my synopsis and review, but now I just keep track of the books I’ve read on my computer calendar. This year I started to keep track of the movies I watch since I’m working on that movie book. The movie book is a long project. I have it calendared out with tasks over the next two years
by Doubling works because of a scientific phenomenon called Isopraxism, a pull towards the same energy to save energy. Isopraxism is why birds fly in formation, deer run together, fish swim in schools, why we do the wave at football games, slow in traffic if the car in front of us slows down, and why get can easily get pulled into someone’s bad mood.  Research shows that the strongest energy, the strongest leader has the strongest pulling effect, and that negative energy (anger) has the strongest pulling effect. The people we are with can motivate us to change or shift our body language. Body doubling can help us get work done.

Body doubling creates a multi-tiered effect to get you moving and motivated. First, there is someone else moving so you are pulled to “Match” that movement. Your limbic system (not your logical thinking neocortex) feels the pull to move because they are moving. If you like a trust them that pull is stronger. You don’t have to Mirror them and do the same exact thing they are doing; you just must move. So for example when my assistant is in the office and may Mirror her and sit at my desk next to her and also typing, but I may also just match and be up doing other things in the office or be working in another room. Her presence and energy of being productive pull me to be productive. Specifically, we are pulled by all our senses, The visual body language cues of the other person, the sound of them breathing and talking, and even their scent,  ie they are sweating so we are pulled to work and sweat.

I have many fellow entrepreneurs and author friends that do their best writing in a coffee shop because there is movement around them. People’s energy and movement, create matching energy and productivity in them. I had an office in a shared office space in a cool hip Ponce City Market before covid, where I spent most of my time in the coffee bar or sitting in one of the lounges working because I loved being around all those fellow high-energy entrepreneurs.

In addition, there is a psychological pull towards being productive, where you see them working, and you feel good if you do too and feel guilty if you don’t move as well. My ex-fiancĂ©, insisted I buy a two-story house because he hated that he could see me sitting at my desk working in my office when he was sitting on the couch watching TV. He wanted me to work on a separate floor so he didn’t feel my pulling effect and didn’t feel guilty for not working nights and weekends as I did. He worked full-time, he shouldn’t have felt any guilt but the pull was strong.

 




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Gwyneth Paltrow ski accident trial body language. Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying? By Body Language Expert Patti Wood


In the footage from her testimony during the ski accident trial, there are some interesting insights about Gwyneth Paltrow. 

 In the video below Gweneth describes what happened her upward hand motions as she speaks are in synch with what she is saying which would indicate she is telling the truth. Her voice baseline is calm, and slow so blips from her baseline are revealing.  As she replies to the “assault” line of questioning. She blinks rapidly over her baseline and does what I call an “Eye Shade” holding her eyes shut for a moment longer than normal when she talks about, “this very strange grunting noise.” And she accentuates and elongates the word grunting in a way that doesn’t seem to match or align with the rest of her testimony. It would make more sense if the skies coming between her legs and her legs spreading upset her more, than the grunting noise. Yet she is emphasizing the grunting that would make it fit her narrative of him sexually assaulting her.

She did not appear likable during the trial.  Likeability is one of the four first impression factors I discuss.  It has been shown to affect the juror's opinions no matter what the evidence in the jury trial.  For example, she huffed and rolled her eyes and looked like a petulant teenager at certain points in the testimony. She looked like, "I don't have time for this nonsense."  I found that interesting as she is an actress and could have chosen to act differently. Her immaturity was so over the top and unlikeable. That is counter to her GOOP Branding that says, "I take care of my health and exercise, and if you follow me and buy my products you will have a calm serene healthy life."  Did she do that because she couldn't help herself? Was she coached to look indignant so the jury would disrespect the defendant? 

 In general, would you say blinking a lot while speaking is a sign that someone is lying? This is something many of us have heard, but is it actually true?

There are many reasons why someone could have rapid blinking. When doing a nonverbal assessment you consider the context of the situation the person is the circumstances what’s going on with a person. Then you analyze the baseline for that particular behavior for example normal blinking rate come ordinary circumstances is about 40 blinks per minute and as stress increases blank rate goes up to 70 blinks per minute or higher.  Ideally, you also want a baseline of what the normal blinking rate is, so it’s easier to rule out things like that person has allergies or allergies for other issues like that. Then you look at what I have named in the literature the timing of the tell. So, for example, if you look at what a person's blank rate is in a Courtroom setting how are they blinking most of the time what is their baseline in that situation. Then you look at how their baseline Great changes due to certain factors. For example when they ask a question and they’re stating their response, or when someone on the stand is saying something about them. (I analyzed OJ in the O.J. Simpson trial in the beginning of the trial he would do a full micro facial Q of a snarled with bare teeth when anyone on Stand said something negative about him, at a certain point in the trial he got a new lawyer and that lawyer got approval from the judge to give him an intense sedative and OJ lost all facial affect for the rest of the trial. 

-- Are there other reasons someone may be blinking a lot that has nothing to do with lying? Yes, allergies dry eyes pollen in the air like there is right now in Atlanta, or general nervousness. The first week I began doing  Nightly TV interviews for CNN and I noticed that I had a high blink rate because I both not nervous about being on TV the bright white lights in my eyes made me blink. I also noticed that I blink for the first 30 seconds or so of the interview but once I calm down I didn’t blink 
-- Do you have any thoughts about Gwyneth Paltrow's body language during her testimony in the videos that have been shared online? Is there anything you take away from her body language? If you send me some videos I’d be happy to do an analysis for you just quick videos would be all I need as I’ve watched some of the testimony but I’d rather look at the videos you sent to make that analysis. 
-- Anything else you'd like to add on the topic of blinking and lying?

And Various programs such as my establishing credibility and deception detection program, my risk assessment program, and my interview program teach questioning techniques to affirm you’ve made an accurate assessment. For example, if you ask someone a question and they do rapid blinking over 70 blinks per minute as they respond and that’s a blip from their baseline behavior you don’t say to yourself I know they’re lying. Instead, you change the topic to something totally different, and easy for them to answer to see if they stop blinking. And if they do you go back later and ask the same question and see if they begin to blink again. If it’s a critical issue that you need them to be honest about you can even do the same process a few more times. Then say for example in a job interview situation you would ask them what’s making them uncomfortable about answering the question. Nonverbal assessments should never be a “hey I gotcha” situation. Instead, you should come from a place of integrity and curiosity. The goal should be to create connections and establish a relationship with people so they feel comfortable telling you the truth,  rather than have to fear everyone is lying and expend energy trying to catch them. Research shows that people who are in the presence of an honest person with integrity are more likely to feel comfortable telling the truth 

Also once you start knowing noticing rapid blink rate is different from somebody’s normal blink rate you will notice it. You’ll begin to watch politicians and celebrities are interviewed on TV and your friends and family. Give your friends and family grace! Never say hey you’re rapidly blinking I know you’re lying! 

Does Blinking a Lot Mean Your Lying? 

https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=AwrEoeht0iFkMAAPzpdXNyoA;_ylu=Y29sbwNiZjEEcG9zAzEEdnRpZAMEc2VjA3BpdnM-?p=Gweneth+Paltrow&fr2=piv-web&type=E210US0G0&fr=mcafee#id=4&vid=f90b60c7864fe49c07fe98ecbbc6f3e7&action=view



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

The Five Steps to Deal with Negative Self-Talk By Keynote Speaker Patti Wood



1. Tune in to your body.
2. Breath and send you self-love
3. Use self-talk to see things differently.
4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.
5. Congratulate yourself.

Step 1. Tune in to your body.
When you're critical of yourself, you are the critical-thinking brain in your neocortex. You want to release the critic, turn it off so move to your emotional brain, where body language and feeling are processed. So the first step is to be inside your body. Be aware of how criticism may be negatively affecting your body, then shift or change that aspect of your body language. Next, you want to be aware of the physical signs of tension, so you can release it before it develops any further. Body signals indicate increasing negatively and what to do if you feel them.  

  • Tensing of muscles –move and let go and relax your body moving from the feet up.
  • Lowering your head - bring your head up. Let it lift as if a balloon holds it.
  • Your hands and arms and legs are pulling in to make yourself smaller – bring your limbs out. Spread your feet apart. Get big.
  • A change in your breathing. Perhaps your breath is shallower. -Breath deep.
  • A change in voice tone or volume, perhaps not talking at all, or a lowering of your volume and the strength of your voice. ---- shout or sing and yell out something positive.

Step 2. Take note of the message that you are sending yourself.

Realize you are in control. Say to yourself, "I am feeling negative about ____   right now. I chose not to let it get bigger, or I chose to let that thought go. Or I decided to change that thought. 

Step 3. Switch your negative message to positive self-talk to see things differently.

Learn to use a different kind of self-talk. The exact same situation will produce different emotions if you change your interpretation

Write out your negative message, then flip it and write the opposite positive message.
Write out the negative message, then write anything that you like about yourself and or are proud of.

  • Say, "Hey, I can deal with this.
  • I'm a creative person, and I may be stuck at this moment, but this moment will pass, and I will be in flow again.
  • I can stop this task for now and shift to some task that brings me pleasure and confidence.
  • True, things aren't going how I planned, but being negative won't help. How shifts my thinking? Or how can I still get something good/fun out of this?

 

Step 4. Consider and choose the best behavior options.
Do something to give yourself a physical release. Again, critical talk comes from the hemisphere so do things that activate your Take a brisk walk, Turn on some music and sing or dance. Go hear live music. Get in the car and take a meandering drive somewhere pretty. Take a shower. You can breathe in slowly and deeply. Play with your pet. You can imagine you are at the beach or in a meadow or looking at a stream or mountain. Bounce a ball.

Focus on any improvement of your abilities. One step at a time is fine.

  • Hey, I did that well. I am really proud of me! YES!

Interviewed several times a week by national media outlets for her expertise on nonverbal communication. Patti Wood. She is an Atlanta-based consultant, speaker, and author. And speaks to Fortune 500 companies and  associations on communication including "

www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com

 

 

 

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Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Signs of an Untrustworthy Person. Signs of Toxic Person by Body Language Expert Patti Wood.

A trustworthy person has consistent, predictable behavior. You can rely on them to do what they say they will do and act in a way that makes sense and considers others’ feelings.

An Untrustworthy person is just the opposite.

1.       Unpredictable. You can’t count on them to act and respond as they have in the past and or changes in their normal baseline of behaviors that don’t seem to make sense. That they don’t want to talk about or that they give lame excuses for and or they get mad at you for noticing.

2.       The amount of time they want to spend with you or communicating with you changes. For example, they were calling, texting several times a day and suddenly they go quiet and can’t be reached.

3.       Lateness. Time is a powerful nonverbal communicator and someone saying they will be somewhere at a certain time and then breaking that promise shows a lack of respect for you and your time. Again, you can’t rely on them, you can’t trust them.

4.       Quick mood changes that don’t make sense. They may get mad for no reason at all, or get mad at you for something that was not a big deal, or that if you step back is bullying. Everyone can show emotions, but if the emotions are used to make you be quiet or not question their odd behavior and make YOU feel bad that’s not healthy. Trustworthy people can cry and get mad, but you know what makes them upset, and it is reasonable considering the circumstances. You don’t have to avoid topics or walk on eggshells to prevent them from getting emotional.

5.       Related to that they change how they act towards you and feel about you. One minute they may be super happy, and energetic, and act like you’re the most wonderful person in the world smiling at you, giving you focused intense eye contact and hanging on every word you say, the next minute they are mad, crying, or cold.

6.       Someone can come off as untrustworthy when YOU feel uncomfortable around them. If you can’t predict someone’s behavior and or you fear their intense emotions you are going to be tense, on edge, filled with cortisol when you are with them, and tired and or drained or numb when they aren’t with you. Inconsistent intense people can create an oddly addictive response. You're high with them, get a fix or intense emotions, and then nothing. Just like a drug addict, you may crave the high and or just the intensity.

 

 

 



Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.
     

Care Giver Guilt, What do so many caregivers experience guilt? By Keynote Speaker Patti Wood

By Patti Wood 
  1. When we see our loved ones suffer, in pain, frustrated, and sometimes angry at themselves, their doctors, and the world. And we feel guilty that we are well. That we are not in pain, that we can walk and move and be out in the world, and in the case of a terminally ill loved one that we will live. When I was taking care of my best friend when he was dying I felt guilty sharing the fun silly thing I was doing out in the world. We were both 29 at the time and I knew he would never dance again, never eat Wendy’s chicken sandwich again, and not live to turn 30.
  2. When I was taking care of my boyfriend who was shot in a hunting accident I felt such guilt that I was not hurt and in pain, I only had fun when visiting with him and felt depressed and isolated myself from fun. I was only 21 and didn’t know how to process my caregiver guilt.
  3. We also feel guilty that we may not be good enough caretakers and that we are not doing everything we can do. That we might make a mistake. When I was taking care of my best friend I read everything about his illness and the medications and talked with the doctors and nurses and was hyper-vigilant with every medication and every dosage through his drip and felt guilty if I was in his hospital room when the doctor came because I was at work.  When later I was engaged to a man who had cystic fibrosis I again became hyper-vigilant, and again felt guilty that I was not critically ill and at risk of death, but I grew to realize that that was a toxic bond to have with a loved one.
  4. Sometimes we learn from our caretaker experience. Many years later I had a boyfriend and I broke up with him. The next day he showed up at my house, wearing his piolet uniform as he was about to go pick up a private plane for a client. He wanted to get back together, I said no but we went to breakfast and when he dropped me back at my house he had a stroke, long story, but he and his doctors said I saved his life. Once I got him brain trauma ICU and his family was there and his other girlfriends were there. (Oh yeah a lot of discoveries.) I realized I didn’t need to take care of him, and I felt no guilt about abdicating that responsibility. That came from my other experiences.

5)      Sometimes we feel guilty because we are not perfect, we are not saints. I have a friend who still feels guilty that while taking care of her ex after he had a debilitating stroke, she was sometimes mean and yelled at him. Even though she gave up most of her wonderful healthy single life and moved in with them for 24-hour care, fed him changed his diapers, and lived again with his toxic manipulation and had to take care of his financial mistakes as well, and all the results of his irresponsible self-care, lack of financial responsibility, lack of healthy relationships with his family and friends that left him with no one else to take care of him.




Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.