Some of you don't know that I give programs to college students at colleges and universities around the country. Here are some of the topics I address:
How to Create a Positive First Impression
What cues do you need to focus on to look good to a recruiter or interviewer?
How to Handle Greetings and Introductions
What moves guarantee you look and feel confident?
How to Dress Right for Every Occasion
How should you dress so you look cool, not uncomfortable or dorky?
How to Be Comfortable in Any Conversation
What should you say and how should you say it so you can feel at ease and make others feel comfortable and ensure a good start for forming key relationships?
How to Prepare for the Job Fair or Follow up after an Job Fair or interview
How should you prepare? What should you expect? How should you follow up to maintain your contacts?
What words do liars use? Governor Sanford's apology
Just like body language cues leak out whether or not someone is lying, Freudian “slips” in language can reveal underlying anxiety, guilt, or arousal. Research from as far back as the Mehrabian (1971) has reported higher numbers of speech errors in deceivers than in non-deceivers. Linguistic style analysis reveals how the deceptive message is conveyed as compared to a truthful message (Pennebaker & King, 1999). Based on earlier work, some of the most reliable markers of linguistic styles are the use of content-free words, such as articles, pronouns, prepositions, auxiliary verbs, conjunctions, and emotionally toned words. See my last post for other specific examples.
So Gary Condit when talking about his wife and a stewardess he had an affair with used the pronouns she and her to refer to both woman rather than using their names or stating his personal relationship with them. Recently Governor Sanford used the term "those boys" instead of my sons or using the names or his sons during his apology, though he referred to his staff by name, by using such an impersonal label for his sons he idicated his desire to disconect from his responsiblity as a father. Govenor Sanford also never actually said, "I am sorry." Instead he asked for forgiveness which is something I have noticed politicians and celebrities often choose to do in their interviews with the press. As a body language expert and media coach I coach for my clients to use the words, "I am sorry." "I apologize." "I made a mistake." For the nonverbal read of Governor Sanford's apology, check last Friday's post. And for the slips of the tongue used by Michael Vick in his apology for hosting dog fights go to my website.
So Gary Condit when talking about his wife and a stewardess he had an affair with used the pronouns she and her to refer to both woman rather than using their names or stating his personal relationship with them. Recently Governor Sanford used the term "those boys" instead of my sons or using the names or his sons during his apology, though he referred to his staff by name, by using such an impersonal label for his sons he idicated his desire to disconect from his responsiblity as a father. Govenor Sanford also never actually said, "I am sorry." Instead he asked for forgiveness which is something I have noticed politicians and celebrities often choose to do in their interviews with the press. As a body language expert and media coach I coach for my clients to use the words, "I am sorry." "I apologize." "I made a mistake." For the nonverbal read of Governor Sanford's apology, check last Friday's post. And for the slips of the tongue used by Michael Vick in his apology for hosting dog fights go to my website.
Slips of the Tongue or Freudian Slips Reveal Liars
You think that a liar has a great deal of control over the content of their story, but the style of language used to tell this story may contain clues to their underlying state of mind. The idea that our word choices can give away our underlying thoughts and feelings dates back to Freud (1901), who argued that speech mistakes, or parapraxes, “almost invariably [reveal] a disturbing influence of something outside of the intended speech” (p. 80). Freud recounts the case of a doctor visiting a wealthy patient who was suffering from a long illness. Despite outwardly claiming to have his patients’ interest in mind, the doctor remarked, “ . . . I hope you will not soon leave your bed” (p.88), revealing his underlying selfish desire to continue treating a wealthy patient. TFor
Information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia in the summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site. You can always contact Patti at Patti@PattiWood.net
Those little slips of the tongue he called Freudian slips.
Information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia in the summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site. You can always contact Patti at Patti@PattiWood.net
Those little slips of the tongue he called Freudian slips.
Word choice, like body language, can reveal a liar
Lying often involves telling a story that is false, a story that the liar doesn't believe. If you analyze the text of a liar or a truth teller and look at the linguistic style you can see words and phrases that distinguish between true and false stories. Computer based text analysis programs can correctly classify liars and truth-tellers at a rate of 67% accuracy. Here is how you can look for words and phrases that liars use. Compared to truth-tellers, liars use fewer self-references such as I or me and prefer to use words like we or us. Liars are more likely to use other-references such as she or her instead of personal reverences such as, "My daughter Sara or my wife Sue". Liars use inclusive generalization such as "awhile ago" instead of "five days ago". They also use more negative emotion words like bad or awful.
Body Language and Content to Read for Lies in Apologies
I am often asked to read the body language of apologizes and media interviews made by politicians like Governor Mark Sanford, Sport Stars like A-Rod, and Celebrities. Most of you know that I discuss the body language, but what you may not know is that I also read the actual words that are spoken. Last week I gave my public seminar on Deception Detection. (by the way I am doing my next public seminar on deception detection, so you can catch a liar on July 22, 2009 in Philadelphia. Call or email for details.) I teach how to analyze the words and the meaning behind them to detect whether or not a person is lying. In the next post I will give you textbook 'tells' for lying.
Photo analysis of Governor Sanford
I was just reading a twitter post about Governor Sanford's odd body language http://twitter.com/bagnewsnotes. The tweeter criticized his body language and in the next post apologized because he found out the photo he was analyzing was a year old. You really need to know your source before analyzing the body language in photos. I imagine the media was using that photo to represent the governor and most of the public assumed that it was a timely photo that represented his body language response to the discovery of his affair with an Argentinian woman.
Reading The Body Language in Photos, the Power of Torture Photos
John Cusack wrote a blog recently concerning Obama changing his mind on the issue of releasing torture photos of suspected terrorists (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-cusack). My discussion group, The meeting of the minds, has been equally outraged and we have some very conservative members. What is interesting to me is that while we have heard the words describing the torture, the actual visual images that have been carefully guarded from the media. The power of nonverbal communication. I am not sure I would bar the photos for fear terrorists would copy the torture methods as the government has discussed. I can say I don't think we want to see the images and link them with our country's treatment of other human beings. I have been doing body language photo analysis for many years. It is amazing what a frozen photographed moment can communicate. It is astounding the pathos and significance communicated in a photographed person's body language. It seems odd to me that I became known as a body language expert by reading celebrity couples when it was really the disturbing photographs from the Vietnam war that first made me realize that I could "read" people's body language in photos and see things other people couldn't see or explain. Seeing people's pain is a horrible part of reading body language. Being extraordinarily empathetic to people's pain is a gift I would never trade.
Poetry and nonverbal communication in Iran protest
Some of you know that I started out originally as a poetry major in college. When I took a body language and nonverbal communication course at the age of 19 I realized that I had been using poetry to express my insights gained through reading body language in a way that didn't offend or make people apprehensive. I would like you to watch how poetry and nonverbal communication worked together to tell a compelling story of human suffering and resilience following election protests in Tehran, Iran. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-lundberg/poetry-of-the-revolution_b_221590.html
Bernard Madoff showed no visible body language at sentencing
Bernard Madoff appeared in court for sentencing today wearing a dark suit and tie. Reporters say he gave no visible reaction to his sentence. That is not surprising. This is a man who was a master manipulator. One would think that he controlled his body language quite well. I would be interested to see whether he had the top charismatic factors that I mention in my article on red white and blue body language and have blogged about so frequently. I have been discussing the case with my summer intern. We have talked about how people recommended him to their friends and how persuasive a recommendation from a friend can be. Here is a link to the story on his sentencing. I would love to see footage of any apology he made.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_madoff_scandal;_ylt=AhjJEZcTz50lS8u.wDqCSrCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTJpbnRxMmpwBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwNjI5L3VzX21hZG9mZl9zY2FuZGFsBGNwb3MDMgRwb3MDNwRzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3J5BHNsawNiZXJuYXJkbWFkb2Y--
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_madoff_scandal;_ylt=AhjJEZcTz50lS8u.wDqCSrCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTJpbnRxMmpwBGFzc2V0A2FwLzIwMDkwNjI5L3VzX21hZG9mZl9zY2FuZGFsBGNwb3MDMgRwb3MDNwRzZWMDeW5fdG9wX3N0b3J5BHNsawNiZXJuYXJkbWFkb2Y--
Billy May's voice will be missed on TV
The TV pitchman Billy Mays died today ABC News Story. He had an iconic voice, loud abrasive and fast paced and even some say horribly irritating. He created a first impression of power and confidence. I used his voice as an example in my speeches and workshops on body language as an example of persuasive paralanguage. His body language, the big smile and energy and his enthusiastic voice certainly made us buy a lot of Orange Glo and Oxiclean. And there was no mistaking his voice for anyone else's. "As Seen on TV" ads will never be the same.
The famous TV pitchman Billy Mays died today. He had an anstonishing iconic voice. The voice that pitchedhttp://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=7955223&page=1 Orange Glo and Oxi Clean. The voice was fast loud and though many people thought it was horribly irratating you couldn't mistake his voice for any one elses and it apsolutely captured your attention. I have used his voice as an example of forceful and effective paralanguage for years.
Reading body language videos for news link with YouTube
Now news stories are working in conjunction with Youtube to have the story online side by side with the video about the story. I am very excited about this as I am often sent to Youtube by journalists to view a video and read the body language and share my "read." So now the video can be right there for me to refer to. How exciting. Here are some links to the story.
http://mashable.com/2009/06/29/google-news-youtube-partners/
http://www.mediabistro.com/webnewser/video_sites/with_content_from_google_news_youtube_launches_news_site_110531.asp?c=rss
http://mashable.com/2009/06/29/google-news-youtube-partners/
http://www.mediabistro.com/webnewser/video_sites/with_content_from_google_news_youtube_launches_news_site_110531.asp?c=rss
Series: Famous statements about lies #6
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
- Mark Twain
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
- Mark Twain
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
College Students Body Language Interviewing for Jobs
Last week I spoke to the career counselors for MBA programs across the country and I have been reading about college students concerns about finding a job and what they are most concerned about in their interviews. In last month's issue of Campus Activities Programming magazine, Megan Stumph from www.Cbcampus.com wrote a great article about college graduates persevering through difficult situations while looking for jobs. She mentioned several specific experiences of college grads and offered up some advice for those trekking through the job market. Here are a few recommendations Megan Stumpth made in her article:
1) Focus your resume and cover letter on the positives. If some of your college courses relate directly to the job you're applying for, mention them in the cover letter. If you balanced school and job to pay your way through, mention your drive and determination.
2) Be persistent in making contact with places you'd like to work for. Show them you know how to work hard for something.
3) Continue self-improvement. If you're working right now, consider how additional education could increase your pay or advance your career further down the road.
I would add work on your body language. Click Here to link to my article on interviewing written by my summer intern Julie Levin.
http://community.naca.org/blogs/edblog/archive/2009/04/23/difficulties-in-job-searching.aspx
1) Focus your resume and cover letter on the positives. If some of your college courses relate directly to the job you're applying for, mention them in the cover letter. If you balanced school and job to pay your way through, mention your drive and determination.
2) Be persistent in making contact with places you'd like to work for. Show them you know how to work hard for something.
3) Continue self-improvement. If you're working right now, consider how additional education could increase your pay or advance your career further down the road.
I would add work on your body language. Click Here to link to my article on interviewing written by my summer intern Julie Levin.
http://community.naca.org/blogs/edblog/archive/2009/04/23/difficulties-in-job-searching.aspx
Deception, College Professors Posing as Students Online
I was reading an article about college professors who teach online classes posing as students in the online discussions to get discussion started in their forums.(www.community.naca.org/blogs)
Oh my goodness. How horrible! The article asked if this was, "close to the edge of faculty ethics." I think the faculty members who did this crossed the line. If they want online discussion it is their responsibility to inspire it. I am a body language expert and I am a college speaker (for my college program descriptions go to www.pattiwood.net) as well as a corporate speaker. I know my college student audiences would be appalled to discover that sort of deception. I teach deception detection techniques. My audience members have horror stories of being "fooled" by such practices. No one feels good about being lied to and I believe students would lose respect for their instructors if they discovered that they where pretending to be students. I wonder if they change their "tone" and dumb down their vocabulary to act as if they are students. That would be so insulting.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web - www.PattiWood.net
Blog - www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
Oh my goodness. How horrible! The article asked if this was, "close to the edge of faculty ethics." I think the faculty members who did this crossed the line. If they want online discussion it is their responsibility to inspire it. I am a body language expert and I am a college speaker (for my college program descriptions go to www.pattiwood.net) as well as a corporate speaker. I know my college student audiences would be appalled to discover that sort of deception. I teach deception detection techniques. My audience members have horror stories of being "fooled" by such practices. No one feels good about being lied to and I believe students would lose respect for their instructors if they discovered that they where pretending to be students. I wonder if they change their "tone" and dumb down their vocabulary to act as if they are students. That would be so insulting.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Web - www.PattiWood.net
Blog - www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
Body language to get a man
SIGNALS THAT MAKE YOU APPROACHABLEFirst, to make yourself more approachable, there are certain “harmlessness” cues you can give off. Your goal is to appear safe for a man to come up to. Men are not usually going to go towards a dangerous target. I know if you're a woman you want the world to know you are strong and powerful but in the social world of flirting your can't stand with your hands on your hips like Wonder Woman and expect men to come up and ask for your number. So when you are standing at a party, gathering or bar don't take up too much space. Taking up a lot of space communicates that you are powerful and superior. You have to show you have room for someone in your life and that a man doesn't have to fight to get close to you.
Series: Famous statements about lies #5
"Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth. When perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must be allowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth, any cause to wonder that he does not hear it."
- Tacitus
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
- Tacitus
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
Are they lying? IT consultants
If you are looking for a statement from IT Consultants to decipher if they are lying or telling the truth note the body language as they share any of the 10 most frequent lies told by IT consultants as found at www.eknori.de
1. This can only be accomplished through a large custom development project.”
2.“Of course your data is safe.”
3.“We’ll need a day or two for optimization and debugging.”
4.“Yes, we’ve done this before. There are several companies using this product (or technology). They really like it.”
5.“Server consolidation and virtualization will save you money.”
6.“Storage consolidation and virtualization will save you money.”
7.“The upgrade (or change) will be seamless and will not affect production.”
8.“The upgrade (or change) will be transparent to users.”
9.“Yes, we tested this thoroughly before installing it.”
10.“If you install Tivoli it will solve all your support."
I teach communication tools to IT people and find them to be very honest. Perhaps the problems come if they become consultants? (smile)
1. This can only be accomplished through a large custom development project.”
2.“Of course your data is safe.”
3.“We’ll need a day or two for optimization and debugging.”
4.“Yes, we’ve done this before. There are several companies using this product (or technology). They really like it.”
5.“Server consolidation and virtualization will save you money.”
6.“Storage consolidation and virtualization will save you money.”
7.“The upgrade (or change) will be seamless and will not affect production.”
8.“The upgrade (or change) will be transparent to users.”
9.“Yes, we tested this thoroughly before installing it.”
10.“If you install Tivoli it will solve all your support."
I teach communication tools to IT people and find them to be very honest. Perhaps the problems come if they become consultants? (smile)
Swine flu on college campuses--will students stop touching?
I was reading on the Higher Education Blog about students and swine flu on college campuses. They want to test all the students and get the ones found with the infection off the campus. How scary!
Governer Sanford's Body Language Durring His New's Conferance Apology for affair
I was asked by a reporter from the Associated Press to read Governor Sanford's body language. He showed lip suppression and tongue thrusts as he talked about his wife standing by him and then later exhibited the following behavior:
I have been unfaithful to my wife. I developed a relationship um with a …um (pressed pulled back lips with frown and upward furrowed brow and eye block) what started out as (head pulled away) as a dear friend from Argentina (head bowed not just down but back) and ummmm it began very (lip pulled back) innocently (showing no it was not innocent) … developed in too much much more.
This body language indicated he was attracted to her from the beginning and especially his paralanguage delivery as he said, "developed into much much more" that he feels deeply for her and continues to feel connected to her. Also his diversion statement, "she is there and I am here," indicated he would like to be with her. When asked, "Did you break off the relationship," he replied, "Obviously not." And he vocally emphasized the not. Sticking the word hard showing he feels strongly about her and has a relationship with her.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Phone- 404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
Body Language of the New MBA Picks
I read the body language of the new NBA draft picks for a magazine today the body language reads appear on the link below.
Where Awkward Happens: Reading The Body Language Of NBA Draft Picks
By Tommy Craggs, 4:00 PM on Fri Jun 26 2009
The David Stern handshake View newly drafted player's baptism into the NBA. It is also, often as not, hilariously awkward. We asked body language maven Patti Wood to analyze some of these moments from yesterday's Draft as they shake hands.
Michael Jackson, poor man, such a loss of talent
Saturday morning cartoons are on. I am sitting on the shag carpet one foot from the TV screen swaying to the music and singing "ABC, it's as simple as one two three..." along with Michael Jackson and the Jackson Five. We are both 10 years old.
He was always smiling when he performed, always in the zone. Some singers act confident, but Michael Jackson even at five years old was confident. For all of us that copied the dance moves of the moon walk and the Thriller zombies, we will always remember the nonverbal moves of Michael Jackson.
He was always smiling when he performed, always in the zone. Some singers act confident, but Michael Jackson even at five years old was confident. For all of us that copied the dance moves of the moon walk and the Thriller zombies, we will always remember the nonverbal moves of Michael Jackson.
Series: Famous statements about lies #4
"Life is a system of half-truths and lies, of opportunistic, convenient evasion."
-Langston Hughes
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
For information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site.
-Langston Hughes
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
For information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site.
How to Ask Someone to be "Friends" over the Internet
I teach people how to feel comfortable greeting each other. But how do you greet and introduce each other over the Internet? I am on all the social media and find it stressful to respond to someone that emails with a standard request to be a friend or be "linked-in", without providing any information of who they are or how we are connected. I also don’t know the polite way to respond when I have no memory of ever having met them. I want to be kind, and I know as a professional speaker, an audience member is sure I will remember them. I therefore feel rude not linking or "Friending," but if they don't say they were in my audience, I don't know.
So here are my questions for today.
First question: What is the proper etiquette of requesting to "friend" or link?
Second Question: How can you politely ask, “Who are you? and “How do I know you?”
So here are my questions for today.
First question: What is the proper etiquette of requesting to "friend" or link?
Second Question: How can you politely ask, “Who are you? and “How do I know you?”
Jon and Kate Plus Hate
I was just reading about the divorce of Jon and Kate, the parents of the "plus eight" children. As a body language expert I loved watching her interact with her children. She would get down and speak to them at their height and make true eye contact and smile at her children's' antics. However while her love her for children is obvious, I had to change the channel when she was seated next to her husband because her contempt for him was so obvious. She would roll her eyes, touch his arm to admonish him for saying anything she deemed wrong or foolish. It was painful to watch. I think we all love the children and admire Kate's strength, but we certainly don't want to watch Jon and Kate hate.
See USA Today article on the Gosselin's latest legal battles.
Series: Famous statements about lies #3
"There is one way to find out if a man is honest-- ask him. If he says yes, you know he is crooked."
- Groucho Marx
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
- Groucho Marx
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
How the internet changes the way we act in relationships
Last night my discussion group was talking again about relationships online and today I was reading a blog about how relationships have changed due to the Internet. The best quote from the blog: “Essentially, the Internet had flipped the world’s social dynamic on it’s head. It turned a world of Don’t Talk To Strangers into a world of Talk to Strangers. I proposed that more relationships were formed online in the digital space between total strangers than were being formed in the physical space. The days of going over to meet the neighbors with apple pie had been replaced with a few key strokes and a screen name. It’s the brave new world of extremely superficial, and often times dangerous relationships. These are the stories that you catch on the news. I also presented this concept to a group of leading physicians so that they would incorporate this idea into their presentations on risky behavior. You see, this is the first generation to be able to operate in this hyper-velocity, non-physical state reality of new relationships.” www.bigfatmartingblog.com Yep, it is risky.
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Phone- 404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
Patti Wood, MA, Certified Speaking Professional
The Body Language Expert
Phone- 404-315-7397
Web- http://www.PattiWood.net
Blog- http://www.bodylanguagelady.blogspot.com
Why you should marry someone older or younger than you
Last night I was talking with my Meeting of the Minds discussion group and we discussed the new research that men who marry women 10+ years younger than themselves live longer than the average man while women who marry men 5 to 10 younger than themselves die younger than the average female. In fact, wives with husbands older or younger by between seven and nine years increase their chances of dying early by 20 percent. Now I have to add finding a guy my same age to my list of husband criteria. This is too hard. Here are links to a few depressing articles on this research: www.sindhtoday.net, http://in.news.yahoo.com I would love to hear your opinion.
Why do men marry younger women and why do women marry older men?, a study published in the journal Biology Letters, says the reason for these unions is that men prefer young women due to their high fertility while women prefer older men due to their wealth and high social status, which make them good providers for the offspring. Although this idea has been around for a long time, few studies have been done to show that this is true or have demonstrated that more and healthier children are the result.
Indeed, now Dr. Samuli Helle of the University of Turku has found the answer by studying the nomadic Sami, the "reindeer people" of Finland. Finnish parish records from the 17th to 19th century on three Sami populations, who depended on reindeer herding, fishing and hunting for their livelihoods, make it possible for researchers to disentangle the effects of medical progress on the number and lifespan of Sami men who married only once.
What they found was that the men maximized their "evolutionary fitness" - ability to pass on their genes to future generations - by marrying women who were 14.6 years younger, and vice versa. "Those men had the highest number of offspring surviving to adulthood," said Dr Helle, who did his study with Drs. Virpi Lummaa of the University of Sheffield and Jukka Jokela of the ETH in Zurich.
Jon and Kate Plus Hate
I was just reading about the divorce of Jon and Kate the parents of the plus eight children. As a body language expert I loved watching her interact with her children. She would get down and speak to them at their height and make true eye contact and smile at her children's antics. She really loves her children. However I would have to change the channel when she was seated next to her husband because her contempt for him was so obvious. She would roll her eyes, touch his arm to admonish him for saying anything she deemed wrong or foolish. It was painful to watch. I think we loved the children and admired Kate's strength but we certainly don't want to watch Jon and Kate hate.
Here is the link to the divorce details
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2009-06-24-jon-kate-legal_N.htm
Contact Patti
Patti Wood MA, Certified Speaking Proffesional
The body language expert
www.PattiWood.net
Here is the link to the divorce details
http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2009-06-24-jon-kate-legal_N.htm
Contact Patti
Patti Wood MA, Certified Speaking Proffesional
The body language expert
www.PattiWood.net
Lies a computer or TV sales men
Seven lies you will hear from a salesmen at an electronic store
1) "The Service Plan covers everything" In fact, it doesn't cover most things. 2) "I'm going to give you a discount"
Always shop around and find out how much things are worth, and watch what the items scan in at instead of taking his word.
3) "This model is a " " exclusive"
4) "Setup will avoid hours of work"
This only applies to computers,
5) "You're saving on x"
7) "You have to buy x"
Source http://consumerist.com/356135/7-lies-youll-hear-from-salesmen-at-electronics-stores
For information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia in the summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site. You can always contact Patti at Patti@PattiWood.net
1) "The Service Plan covers everything" In fact, it doesn't cover most things. 2) "I'm going to give you a discount"
Always shop around and find out how much things are worth, and watch what the items scan in at instead of taking his word.
3) "This model is a " " exclusive"
4) "Setup will avoid hours of work"
This only applies to computers,
5) "You're saving on x"
7) "You have to buy x"
Source http://consumerist.com/356135/7-lies-youll-hear-from-salesmen-at-electronics-stores
For information of public seminars Patti is giving on body language and deception detection in Philadeliphia in the summer of 09 though Paliani consulting please contact us or go directly to the Paliani site. You can always contact Patti at Patti@PattiWood.net
Little Girls Still Play Inside
As a child I played outside for hours every day. I climbed on the backyard jungle gym, played red light, green light in the street and caught minnows in the creek. I played inside as well, building wonderful houses for my Barbie dolls and Trolls, fixing tea for my Chattie Cathy and dressing and undressing my Dolly Darlings. Outside I was a Tom Boy, the alpha leader in charge of all the game rules and team choices; inside I used a soft voice and held my dolls close as I rocked them. Today I still have my outside Alpha Patti that gives speeches and my inside nice girl Patti that cuddles the dog and listens to loved ones talk about their day. Today girls still play mostly inside in small spaces, in small groups or in pairs. The center of a girl's social life is a best friend. Within the group, intimacy is key. In playing house there are no winners or losers. Girls playing mommy can give orders but they are not comfortable giving orders in any other play role. Girls are more likely to say, "how about doing that?" or "lets do this " and boys say, LET'S DO THIS, OF ELSE!","give me that" or "get out of here."(Funny) For girls it's not about jockeying for status, it's about being liked. For example, when my godchild is playing with her girlfriends, they have to reach a consensus on what they're going to do. If most of them want to go out on the swing and one little girl does not want to, then there's a problem. In fact, popular girls have status but research shows that even though other girls want to be liked by the popular girl, the popular girl is paradoxically disliked and called stuck up.
Series: Famous statements about lies #2
"If you do not wish to be lied to, do not ask questions. If there were no questions, there would be no lies."
-B. Traven
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
-B. Traven
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
"If you continue in my word, then you are my disciples . . . And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free."
-John 8:32
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
-John 8:32
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
Deception Detection: So you thought you had it made?
Julie Levin (an intern's musings)
In this economy, not too many people feel absolutely secure in their financial situation. Well unless you're among the uber-elite .1% of the population made up of oil tycoons, Hollywood movie producers, and select other heirs and heiresses. For these people luxury is a much a part of daily life as say, worrying about money, is for the rest of us mortals. The sobering fact of the matter though, according to the June issue of Vanity Fair, is that even these formerly enviable folks (or spoiled narcissists, depending on your outlook)are starting to suffer under the weight of impending recession and scheming investment bankers, among whom Bernie Madoff is perhaps most infamous these days. Telltale sign of trouble in paradise: newly listed rentals and steep markdowns of pricey Hampton's get-a-ways.
So how is it that men like Madoff were able to pull off their large scale Ponzi schemes (defined by Wikipedia as: fraudulent investment operations that pay returns to investors from money paid by subsequent investors rather than from any actual profit earned) and cheat these apparently business savvy millionaires out of so much of their fortunes?
Well if attendance at Patti's Deception Detection program last night taught me one thing it's that charisma can overwhelm our fairly adept natural ability to detect deception. When we meet a charismatic, attractive individual--which Bernie Madoff by all accounts is--we have an immediate (though often unfortunate) desire to trust him or her. Think of the stud at the bar who bought you a drink and told you that he was single. Note: the good ones never are. So rather than heeding all the warning signs intended to keep us out of trouble, we are much more likely to hand over our money or hearts to these smooth talking, good looking manipulators.
As one of those girls who tends to fall for the attractive "bad boy" types I find this all particularly disheartening. But here's to hoping that I one day have enough money to be worth a scheming investment banker's efforts (and an attractive husband who will advise me against investing with him.)
In this economy, not too many people feel absolutely secure in their financial situation. Well unless you're among the uber-elite .1% of the population made up of oil tycoons, Hollywood movie producers, and select other heirs and heiresses. For these people luxury is a much a part of daily life as say, worrying about money, is for the rest of us mortals. The sobering fact of the matter though, according to the June issue of Vanity Fair, is that even these formerly enviable folks (or spoiled narcissists, depending on your outlook)are starting to suffer under the weight of impending recession and scheming investment bankers, among whom Bernie Madoff is perhaps most infamous these days. Telltale sign of trouble in paradise: newly listed rentals and steep markdowns of pricey Hampton's get-a-ways.
So how is it that men like Madoff were able to pull off their large scale Ponzi schemes (defined by Wikipedia as: fraudulent investment operations that pay returns to investors from money paid by subsequent investors rather than from any actual profit earned) and cheat these apparently business savvy millionaires out of so much of their fortunes?
Well if attendance at Patti's Deception Detection program last night taught me one thing it's that charisma can overwhelm our fairly adept natural ability to detect deception. When we meet a charismatic, attractive individual--which Bernie Madoff by all accounts is--we have an immediate (though often unfortunate) desire to trust him or her. Think of the stud at the bar who bought you a drink and told you that he was single. Note: the good ones never are. So rather than heeding all the warning signs intended to keep us out of trouble, we are much more likely to hand over our money or hearts to these smooth talking, good looking manipulators.
As one of those girls who tends to fall for the attractive "bad boy" types I find this all particularly disheartening. But here's to hoping that I one day have enough money to be worth a scheming investment banker's efforts (and an attractive husband who will advise me against investing with him.)
Series: Famous statements about lies #1
"You want the truth. You can't handle the truth!"
- From the film, "A Few Good Men"
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
- From the film, "A Few Good Men"
(http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/1611/sins22lies0index.html)
For a speaker and coach on body language and deception detection go to www.PattiWood.net and book Patti or buy her book Success Signals.
How to Get a Baseline of Normal Behavior to Detect Lying
How to Get a Baseline - You detect deceit by reading how far from normal someone is. Therefore, you need to know what normal is for each person to discover whether he or she lying. For example you might think that all liars pause before they speak, and don’t make eye contact, but an honest person who is introverted may do that normally. You need to find out what each person's 'normal' is.
Extroverts will normally talk loud, fast, and fill up silences. Introverts will pause before they speak and speak softer and slower. Clearly, the baseline is different for introverts and extrovert. You need to determine if the person is introverted or extroverted and what their particular baseline quirks are so you know how far from normal their behavior is.
To understand how this works, let’s study an example. Imagine you are going in to buy a used car and you are talking with your salesman. You want to make sure that your car salesman is not selling you a lemon. Forget any stereotype you may have about car salesmen and get a baseline of this individual salesman. Begin by creating a framework of non-invasive questions to establish his normal, baseline behavior. Essentially you want to ask questions you are sure he would answer honestly first.
YOU: Wow! it is a scorcher out today? Is it usually this hot this time of year in Atlanta? Are you from around here? Did you have air conditioning growing up? Did you spend much time outside playing when you were growing up?
HIM: He should talk easily and comfortably about the weather and his childhood
or
YOU: This is not my part of town. Can you tell me some good restaurants around here? Do you have a favorite? What kind of food do they serve? What do you usually have?
HIM: tells you about his favorite place and what he likes there
YOU: So, how long have you been in business? (This is a question he would more than likely answer honestly as it can be confirmed.)
HIM: Let me tell you a little bit about my experience selling cars and how long we have been here selling cars....
YOU: Now, if I decide I want this car today, what are the steps I need to take?
HIM: Let's figure out how much you want to spend on a monthly payment....
If you noticed, these questions were fairly innocuous and nonthreatening so the car salesman has no incentive to lie. While you are listening to him tell the truth you get his baseline. If you have taken my deception detection course you have a checklist to rate the person and/or pay attention to his voice. Does he talk fast or slow? Does his voice go up or down. Look at his gestures, his mouth. Is he right handed or left handed. Get a baseline for his eye accessing cues. Where does he look when he’s describing his favorite dish? What are his hands doing as he’s talking about the temperature or his experience? Is he leaning toward or away from you? Does he tend to gesture a lot or a little. Does he seem relaxed or tense. When you feel pretty confident that you recognize his baseline, you can now ask him the questions that you really want to know. These will be questions about the quality and history of the car, its maintenance record, whether his customers are typically happy with their cars etc. It’s at this point that you want to look for those patterns that differ from his baseline of normal behavior.
Extroverts will normally talk loud, fast, and fill up silences. Introverts will pause before they speak and speak softer and slower. Clearly, the baseline is different for introverts and extrovert. You need to determine if the person is introverted or extroverted and what their particular baseline quirks are so you know how far from normal their behavior is.
To understand how this works, let’s study an example. Imagine you are going in to buy a used car and you are talking with your salesman. You want to make sure that your car salesman is not selling you a lemon. Forget any stereotype you may have about car salesmen and get a baseline of this individual salesman. Begin by creating a framework of non-invasive questions to establish his normal, baseline behavior. Essentially you want to ask questions you are sure he would answer honestly first.
YOU: Wow! it is a scorcher out today? Is it usually this hot this time of year in Atlanta? Are you from around here? Did you have air conditioning growing up? Did you spend much time outside playing when you were growing up?
HIM: He should talk easily and comfortably about the weather and his childhood
or
YOU: This is not my part of town. Can you tell me some good restaurants around here? Do you have a favorite? What kind of food do they serve? What do you usually have?
HIM: tells you about his favorite place and what he likes there
YOU: So, how long have you been in business? (This is a question he would more than likely answer honestly as it can be confirmed.)
HIM: Let me tell you a little bit about my experience selling cars and how long we have been here selling cars....
YOU: Now, if I decide I want this car today, what are the steps I need to take?
HIM: Let's figure out how much you want to spend on a monthly payment....
If you noticed, these questions were fairly innocuous and nonthreatening so the car salesman has no incentive to lie. While you are listening to him tell the truth you get his baseline. If you have taken my deception detection course you have a checklist to rate the person and/or pay attention to his voice. Does he talk fast or slow? Does his voice go up or down. Look at his gestures, his mouth. Is he right handed or left handed. Get a baseline for his eye accessing cues. Where does he look when he’s describing his favorite dish? What are his hands doing as he’s talking about the temperature or his experience? Is he leaning toward or away from you? Does he tend to gesture a lot or a little. Does he seem relaxed or tense. When you feel pretty confident that you recognize his baseline, you can now ask him the questions that you really want to know. These will be questions about the quality and history of the car, its maintenance record, whether his customers are typically happy with their cars etc. It’s at this point that you want to look for those patterns that differ from his baseline of normal behavior.
How can you tell if he likes you? Body language and attraction
Here is a recent body language and attraction article I was quoted in:
Men’s Body Language, Decoded: What’s He Really Telling You?
When it comes to understanding men—and their interest level in you—do you need a translator? Glamour Magazine asked the top body language experts such as Patti Wood about men’s most confusing mixed signals and found that it’s not what he says but what he does that really matters.
http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2009/06/mens-body-language-decoded#slide=9
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