A friend and I were talking today about physical appearance in the movie, A Promising Young Woman and I thought about how tragic it is that young women today feel the pressure to be fully made up at looking perfect at all times. I didn’t wear make-up until I was in my 20s and then I only wore it on dates!
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Expert on Gender Differences Patti Wood Book Recommendation.
A friend and I were talking today about physical appearance in the movie, A Promising Young Woman and I thought about how tragic it is that young women today feel the pressure to be fully made up at looking perfect at all times. I didn’t wear make-up until I was in my 20s and then I only wore it on dates!
What Makes Someone Look Like They Are Lying, Guilty and or Evil. The Body Language of Evil Eyebrows.
Police Defendant Dereck Chauvin's Body Language During his Trial for the Murder by Body Language Expert Patti Wood
Body language of Chauvin hearing his guilty verdict in this video https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-2402584/Jury-finds-Derek-Chauvin-guilty-killing-George-Floyd.html
The fear is clear in the tenseness of the lower eyelids and the way he is
raising his upper eyelids the rapid eye movement is him processing the verdict as
anyone would first in the emotional limbic brain and going over to the neocortex
to the logical thinking brain to decide how to respond. The rapid movement shows
his constant attempt to first feel fearful, understand what is being said, and
stay calm over and over again. But mixed with the fear are also nonverbal
indications of anger, see when his eyebrows lower slightly and are drawn
together along with the lower eyelid tension so we see him glaring. I had
enough baseline of his normal to detect his shift from fear to anger in these
few moments. I would say he did not expect his behavior to have reached this
judgment. Remember he had been reprimanded but not fired for similar behavior
(kneeling on someone) before this and anyone would be fearful of guilty
judgment.
Here’s the story about the moment he
spoke to the court and the video itself.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9474599/Derek-Chauvin-trial-Defense-set-call-final-witnesses.html
What is striking here is his very erect posture and bearing see how it seems
that there is an invisible rod through his back and up through his neck. This
is perfect professional posture and indicates he is very aware of his circumstances
and surroundings. Also, notice this way he is holding the microphone down away
from his face and his heart and instead over his torso with his fingers only
lightly holding it with the tips of his fingers extended. He may have been
coached to hold the mike in this relaxed unguarded way, but in any case, this
placement and grip make it appear he is not tense. You do see The tell of his anxiety
his clipped, tense, rapid replies. I coach people to be expert witnesses and to
testify before congress and while lawyers tend to coach clients to give short
responses, I coach them to breathe and give relaxed naturally voiced responses
that are credible. Of course, he is responding to questions about understanding
about not testifying but his paralanguage, that is voice tone, tempo, speaking
rate, high voice, etc. and his focus on looking at his lawyer in a way that
makes it look like he searching for approval that he is doing ok and making the
right choice make him sound scared. The
one "tell" that makes him look a bit smug is his chin placement. Chin placement
is a key place to read for someone's level of confidence. Confidence is shown when the
chin is held at the center. He holds his
neck arched out at one point and throughout holds his chin up above “the centerline” showing he feels superior. I think that is telling because it's very hard
to consciously control the chin placement when under stress, so it tends to go
to its natural baseline of that person's normal.
The defence’s
closing statement, where Chauvin took off his mask for the first prolonged period
throughout the trial. We didn’t get to see much of him because the camera was
focused on his attorney and insight on why the defence would have him take the
mask off just for that section.
https://twitter.com/CourtTV/status/1384559990665584640
I think the mask off was an attempt to have the jury read him and potentially see him be emotional. The background of court trials recently has been controversial in some legal trials they have delayed going forward for fear their defendant won’t be seen on zoom or under a mask as a human/innocent/real. It’s a big concern.
NOTE TAKING
Many of my clients, curious have asked me about his note-taking. It is standard practice for me to
coach my executive and politician clients to “take notes” in court cases, testimony,
debates and congressional hearing so they will stay focused and occupied, have
something to do with their hands as hands often go to “Self Comfort Cues” and
overall not be as nervous and NOT GIVE AS MANY TELLS” I give caveats to that advice
however saying it's important at times to show respect, caring, and concern partiality.
These caveats were not coached and or shown by him. Because he was labeled as unfeeling and lacking emotion before the trial it was a mistake for him to do it so often. Here the lack of emotion during very painful testimony may have affected the jury’s impression of him negatively. And you have that chin up and often shoulders back as he is taking notes. He looks more natural and humane (that is humane, not human) when he is relaxed down in his chair here. The constant note-taking and the chin-up which can be seen even with a mask on may have been the reason some people labeled him as looking unfeeling or even labeling him as a sociopath. Every individual has their baseline normal behavior that I use to do a read and we have a standard of normal nonverbal behavior for situations. Because of the long horrific video, this was a trial that caused many people who say the video feel horrific pain and sympathy for the victim so the baseline of normal response for the defendant is expected to show a reflection of our normal even knowing that he feels and considers himself innocent. I know that lawyers may coach a client to show no emotion to make the victim look more guilty, but again we saw the video of the victim's agony so that standard lawyerly advice about how to comport yourself as the defendant in the courtroom could and in this case did backfire.
In regards to his constant notetaking, again there aren’t many videos of it because we only saw glimpses but having watched the trial I can say he was writing on his legal pad constantly, no matter who was on the witness stand or which attorney was speaking.
https://twitter.com/HLNTV/status/1382728587808215043
https://twitter.com/CourtTV/status/1382348828871958533
https://twitter.com/JuliaCourtTV/status/1384249332761731081
A Nonverbal Trick to Fall Asleep
I just read about this nonverbal trick to fall asleep.
Isn’t it frustrating when you can’t run off those racing thoughts
and get to sleep?
You probably have experienced it, haven’t you?
You get in bed, pull up the blanket, flip off the light, take a
deep breath…
And everything you’ve thought about, worried about during the day,
worked on during the day, comes flooding back.
You can’t stop thinking about the things that you need to do
tomorrow.
Your mind is overwhelmed with stresses, anxieties, the pandemic,
and all the issues that are out of control.
Most people will tell you just to “Shut your mind off” and “Just
stop thinking.”
But…
How do you do that?!
Well, this is how to flip the switch off on your racing brain.
Now, this technique might sound weird and unconventional but try
and you’ll see how well it works.
Next time you get in bed, close your eyes and imagine as you are
feeling different objects -- NOT see them, but feel without moving your hands.
Remember: The objects are moving - NOT your hands!
Feel their shapes.
Feel their textures.
Feel whether they are soft or hard on touch.
At
first, it might take up to 15 minutes to concentrate your mind on this
activity. Although, once you practice it daily you’ll be able to fall asleep in
minutes!
Why does it work?
Basically, instead of trying to shut off all those racing thoughts
in your mind, you simply refocus and concentrate on something that neither
bores you nor interests you too much.
Tips for Performance Appraisals and Giving Effective Feedback to Employees.
I speak and write about performance appraisals and giving effective feedback tied to specific examples of behavior.
What do you find has been the best way to
conduct employee reviews and/or mid-year reviews while working
Remote? Don't wait for the employee review to give feedback. Tell employees as
soon as you see the good and or bad behavior that you like or don't like and
discuss how they can continue good behavior for specific rewards and stop bad
behavior to avoid specific consequences. A performance review should be a Review
of information they have already heard. It's in the description of the task that
it is a review. Don't SAVE your feedback for when you have time or avoid sharing
feedback because it's bad. A review shouldn't have any surprises.
What kinds of conversations should both parties prioritize discussing
together and why is it important to have these conversations?
They should have prep conversations answering questions like
Do you look forward to your performance evaluation?
Can you give me your job description and is it clear what
your job description is?
Have you ever been given a performance review and been
surprised with new information?
Have you ever been reviewed on something you didn't know
was part of your job description.
Do you see the performance evaluation as an opportunity to
to grow as an employee?
that allow strong performers to continue the great work? And if
someone is underperforming, how can you help get them back up to
speed?