Patti Wood Body Language Expert Blog : 04/01/2021

Expert on Gender Differences Patti Wood Book Recommendation.

A friend and I were talking today about physical appearance in the movie, A Promising Young Woman and  I thought about how tragic it is that young women today feel the pressure to be fully made up at looking perfect at all times. I didn’t wear make-up until I was in my 20s and then I only wore it on dates! 

I have been speaking and writing about gender differences and nonverbal communication for decades. This is a wonderful quote from a book I read years ago. To be born a woman has been to be born, within an allotted and confined space, into the keeping of men. The social presence of women has developed as a result of their ingenuity in living under such tutelage within such a limited space…She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because of how she appears to others, and ultimately how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life. Her own sense of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another. Here is the quote from the book I recommend. 

https://onartandaesthetics.com/2017/01/12/john-berger-on-male-and-female-presence-from-ways-of-seeing/amp/?fbclid=IwAR0SSiKxIj0rMFx1KK3_jfmQIOjx17dGZjz6w2EIuaXyEAcOeDOeXZwihJ4

Patti Wood, MA - The Body Language Expert. For more body language insights go to her website at www.PattiWood.net. Check out Patti's website for her new book "SNAP, Making the Most of First Impressions, Body Language and Charisma" at www.snapfirstimpressions.com.

What Makes Someone Look Like They Are Lying, Guilty and or Evil. The Body Language of Evil Eyebrows.

Notice the downward sloping of the inner eyebrow. Yes, that is controllable. That is something facial muscles can do in response to the suppression of the truth. If you don’t lie all the time you don’t have it! 

 I have a chapter on eye behavior in my book Success Signals. I talk about eyebrows a deception in my deception detection program and I discuss the research on eyebrow placement and malignant narcissism in my forthcoming book. I just happened to see a photo of him in a news story and when I looked up his name there were many more that showed the same characteristic. Body language of Chauvin during his murder trial. 

Police Defendant Dereck Chauvin's Body Language During his Trial for the Murder by Body Language Expert Patti Wood

Body language of Chauvin hearing his guilty verdict in this video https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-2402584/Jury-finds-Derek-Chauvin-guilty-killing-George-Floyd.html

The fear is clear in the tenseness of the lower eyelids and the way he is raising his upper eyelids the rapid eye movement is him processing the verdict as anyone would first in the emotional limbic brain and going over to the neocortex to the logical thinking brain to decide how to respond. The rapid movement shows his constant attempt to first feel fearful, understand what is being said, and stay calm over and over again. But mixed with the fear are also nonverbal indications of anger, see when his eyebrows lower slightly and are drawn together along with the lower eyelid tension so we see him glaring. I had enough baseline of his normal to detect his shift from fear to anger in these few moments. I would say he did not expect his behavior to have reached this judgment. Remember he had been reprimanded but not fired for similar behavior (kneeling on someone) before this and anyone would be fearful of guilty judgment.

Here’s the story about the moment he spoke to the court and the video itself.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9474599/Derek-Chauvin-trial-Defense-set-call-final-witnesses.html What is striking here is his very erect posture and bearing see how it seems that there is an invisible rod through his back and up through his neck. This is perfect professional posture and indicates he is very aware of his circumstances and surroundings. Also, notice this way he is holding the microphone down away from his face and his heart and instead over his torso with his fingers only lightly holding it with the tips of his fingers extended. He may have been coached to hold the mike in this relaxed unguarded way, but in any case, this placement and grip make it appear he is not tense. You do see The tell of his anxiety his clipped, tense, rapid replies. I coach people to be expert witnesses and to testify before congress and while lawyers tend to coach clients to give short responses, I coach them to breathe and give relaxed naturally voiced responses that are credible. Of course, he is responding to questions about understanding about not testifying but his paralanguage, that is voice tone, tempo, speaking rate, high voice, etc. and his focus on looking at his lawyer in a way that makes it look like he searching for approval that he is doing ok and making the right choice make him sound scared. The one "tell" that makes him look a bit smug is his chin placement. Chin placement is a key place to read for someone's level of confidence. Confidence is shown when the chin is held at the center. He holds his neck arched out at one point and throughout holds his chin up above “the centerline” showing he feels superior. I think that is telling because it's very hard to consciously control the chin placement when under stress, so it tends to go to its natural baseline of that person's normal.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/news/video-2399020/Video-Minneapolis-cop-Derek-Chauvin-invokes-Fifth-Amendment.html

The defence’s closing statement, where Chauvin took off his mask for the first prolonged period throughout the trial. We didn’t get to see much of him because the camera was focused on his attorney and insight on why the defence would have him take the mask off just for that section.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9488203/Derek-Chauvin-trial-Defense-argues-closing-statement-cops-actions-reasonable.html

https://twitter.com/CourtTV/status/1384559990665584640

I think the mask off was an attempt to have the jury read him and potentially see him be emotional. The background of court trials recently has been controversial in some legal trials they have delayed going forward for fear their defendant won’t be seen on zoom or under a mask as a human/innocent/real. It’s a big concern.

NOTE TAKING

Many of my clients, curious have asked me about his note-taking. It is standard practice for me to coach my executive and politician clients to “take notes” in court cases, testimony, debates and congressional hearing so they will stay focused and occupied, have something to do with their hands as hands often go to “Self Comfort Cues” and overall not be as nervous and NOT GIVE AS MANY TELLS” I give caveats to that advice however saying it's important at times to show respect, caring, and concern partiality.

These caveats were not coached and or shown by him. Because he was labeled as unfeeling and lacking emotion before the trial it was a mistake for him to do it so often. Here the lack of emotion during very painful testimony may have affected the jury’s impression of him negatively. And you have that chin up and often shoulders back as he is taking notes. He looks more natural and humane (that is humane, not human) when he is relaxed down in his chair here. The constant note-taking and the chin-up which can be seen even with a mask on may have been the reason some people labeled him as looking unfeeling or even labeling him as a sociopath. Every individual has their baseline normal behavior that I use to do a read and we have a standard of normal nonverbal behavior for situations. Because of the long horrific video, this was a trial that caused many people who say the video feel horrific pain and sympathy for the victim so the baseline of normal response for the defendant is expected to show a reflection of our normal even knowing that he feels and considers himself innocent. I know that lawyers may coach a client to show no emotion to make the victim look more guilty, but again we saw the video of the victim's agony so that standard lawyerly advice about how to comport yourself as the defendant in the courtroom could and in this case did backfire.

In regards to his constant notetaking, again there aren’t many videos of it because we only saw glimpses but having watched the trial I can say he was writing on his legal pad constantly, no matter who was on the witness stand or which attorney was speaking.

https://twitter.com/HLNTV/status/1382728587808215043

https://twitter.com/CourtTV/status/1382348828871958533

https://twitter.com/JuliaCourtTV/status/1384249332761731081

A Nonverbal Trick to Fall Asleep

I just read about this nonverbal trick to fall asleep.

Isn’t it frustrating when you can’t run off those racing thoughts and get to sleep?

You probably have experienced it, haven’t you?

You get in bed, pull up the blanket, flip off the light, take a deep breath…

And everything you’ve thought about, worried about during the day, worked on during the day, comes flooding back.

You can’t stop thinking about the things that you need to do tomorrow.

Your mind is overwhelmed with stresses, anxieties, the pandemic, and all the issues that are out of control.

Most people will tell you just to “Shut your mind off” and “Just stop thinking.”

But…

How do you do that?!

Well, this is how to flip the switch off on your racing brain.

Now, this technique might sound weird and unconventional but try and you’ll see how well it works.

Next time you get in bed, close your eyes and imagine as you are feeling different objects -- NOT see them, but feel without moving your hands.

Remember: The objects are moving - NOT your hands!

Feel their shapes.

Feel their textures.

Feel whether they are soft or hard on touch.

At first, it might take up to 15 minutes to concentrate your mind on this activity. Although, once you practice it daily you’ll be able to fall asleep in minutes!

Why does it work?

Basically, instead of trying to shut off all those racing thoughts in your mind, you simply refocus and concentrate on something that neither bores you nor interests you too much.

Tips for Performance Appraisals and Giving Effective Feedback to Employees.

I speak and write about performance appraisals and giving effective feedback tied to specific examples of behavior.

What do you find has been the best way to
conduct employee reviews and/or mid-year reviews while working
Remote? Don't wait for the employee review to give feedback. Tell employees as soon as you see the good and or bad behavior that you like or don't like and discuss how they can continue good behavior for specific rewards and stop bad behavior to avoid specific consequences. A performance review should be a Review of information they have already heard. It's in the description of the task that it is a review. Don't SAVE your feedback for when you have time or avoid sharing feedback because it's bad. A review shouldn't have any surprises.

What kinds of conversations should both parties prioritize discussing
together and why is it important to have these conversations?

They should have prep conversations answering questions like

Do you look forward to your performance evaluation?

Can you give me your job description and is it clear what your job description is?

Have you ever been given a performance review and been surprised with new information?

Have you ever been reviewed on something you didn't know was part of your job description.

Do you see the performance evaluation as an opportunity to to grow as an employee?

How can you set goals together

that allow strong performers to continue the great work? And if
someone is underperforming, how can you help get them back up to
speed?

Ask them arere you comfortable being told to go to a workshop or work with a coach or me as your manager to achieve a goal or change something rated low on performance evaluation and/or being rewarded and grow by getting coaching or training?

Why I think men are more comfortable than women offering personal data to brands. Expert in Gender Differences Patti Wood

A survey was to find out how comfortable people are sharing
their personal data to improve their customer experience in
various sectors. Across the board, we found men were more likely
than women to say they are 'extremely comfortable' sharing
personal data. For example, 36% of men said they're extremely
comfortable sharing personal data with a takeaway service,
compared to 19% of women, and 36% were extremely comfortable
sharing personal data with hotels, compared to just 18% of women.

As an expert in gender behavior to provide a

This is why I think men are more
comfortable than women offering personal data to brands.

As someone who has spoken and written about gender differences for decades, I believe one of the most basic differences is that males, starting when they are small boys tend to play move and express outwards. Think of boys running with toy airplanes and rocket ships and cars moving through space with the bodies, making loud noises. And females stereotypically as girls starting at about age 5 move less, take up less space as they play and make less noise as they play.

We know that people that have power of expand take up more space have more open body language while people with less power and status tend to contract, close off the entrances to their body with their limbs and overall take up less space. Less powerful people, historically woman would there for share less information/ make less noise/ close off more of themselves with strangers.

Called the “Gold Standard” of Body Language by the Washington Post and credited in the New York Times for bringing the topic to national attention Patti Wood, is a true expert. She creates high energy interactive programs, filled with humor, cutting edge information and valuable “Take Aways.” She is the author of nine books and she speaks and consults to Fortune 500 companies and associations. You see her on National TV shows like Good Morning America, CNN and FOX news, The History Channel and the Today Show. She is quoted every week in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, Bloomberg Business Week, Fortune, Good Housekeeping, and USA Today.

How to Improve Your Ability To Read People and Form Accurate First Impressions.

I teach my clients to improve their intuitive ability by noting body language and first impressions. For example, I share my “What is the first thing you notice when you meet somebody?” They partner with each other and share their answers. Remarkably, class after class, year after year, they say, : trustworthy, credible, authentic, honest, integrity. Our primitive limbic brain picks up on nonverbal cues that help us “read” people. We can improve that intuitive read by consciously noting what are read of someone is and attaching words to our read, “Safe” “Not sage” “Be careful” “Doesn’t seem authentic” and then when we finish interacting with them in a single interaction even writing down our read and checking back later to see if we were accurate. Research shows that Judges tend to be more accurate at telling someone is lying because they have an intuitive first impression and at the conclusion of the court case they have a check/finding on their read. I tell my audiences in my body language classes and my DiSC and Myers Briggs Communication Style training to implement a new step in entering their contacts into their phones and or other contact software. After the first meeting, phone or zoom call to put their own personal code words and or specific cues they noticed to state their first impression read and type of the person and then go back and see how accurate they are.

New Soft Skills To Consider When Hiring in the Post Covid 19 Employment World

I am an expert on Nonverbal Communication/First Impressions and Interviewing.

The transferrable soft
Skill in 5 words or less.

Make a Great First Impression "Above the Mask"

2. Why this skill is especially
Important & attractive during these turbulent times Being able to present as safe and friendly is essential to front line workers who serve customers.

An example of how a candidate demonstrated this to you during the
Job application process. I have my clients put on a mask even when they do Zoom/video platform job interviews if they are hiring front-line workers and asking the applicant to do the same. I have observed an applicant who did a great job at leaning forward, smiling above the mask, and matching and mirroring body language and paralanguage cues. (voice tone tempo etc.)

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First impression/Zoom Box Impression.
This is often the way that they will be communicating now. Do they have a Zoom Box impression that looks professional? Does it show they took time and care about their environments, such as not having a messy kitchen or distractions and noise in the background? Do they have the camera aimed correctly? Are they dressed and sitting professionally, and do they score possibility on the Four First Impression Factors of Credibility LIkeablity, Attractiveness, and Power. I have a chart of the factors that they should look for in a Zoom box impression so they can rate them on three point scale. If they like the candidate but they didn’t like their Zoom box impression the chart gives them a way to approach a conversation with them before they hire them to see if they can improve their impression.

Take Care,

Trump's Office and Desk, Body Language Expert Patti Wood analyzes Trump's Office and desk

Mr. Trump’s office at his home in the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida, is, a monument to his presidency.

The former president is pictured sitting behind an imitation. replica of the Resolute Desk that most commanders-in-chief use in the Oval Office. Specifically, it's a $3,600 Telluride Wood Executive Desk from Hooker Furniture. His chair is highbacked and throne-like brought from his Trump Tower office in New York to the oval office and now it's here in his post-presidency office.

Placed on a side table beside a gilded lamp is a small brass statue of Trump himself. I don’t know anyone who has a statue of themselves in their office.

On the walls on either side of the shuttered doors are two framed photographs. One is an unremarkable picture of Air Force One flying over the White House; the other is of Marine One, with the president aboard, hovering in front of Mount Rushmore before he gave a speech there on 4 July 2020.

On the front right corner of Trump’s desk sits a plaque commemorating the wall he promised to build on the US-Mexico border. made from a piece of the wall at the southern border and was presented to Mr. Trump by US Border Patrol in 2019. Trump promised a “big beautiful wall” that covered the length of the border, approximately 2,000 miles of concrete wall on the US/Mexico border, He was practically elected on that pledge. In reality, only 80 miles of new wall were built during his time in office and some steel fencing.

On the wall are pictures showing Air Force One banking over the White House and Marine One, the president’s helicopter, flying past Mount Rushmore, which commemorates the most significant Presidents in America's first 150 years since independence.

Mr. Trump also has a number of military challenge coins which he brought from the Oval Office. The coins have been used as gifts to foreign dignitaries and American soldiers since Bill Clinton first did so when he was president in the 1990s.

Tucked behind a desk phone stands a bottle of Diet Coke, though Mr Trump is leading calls for a boycott of Coca-Cola following the company’s criticism of Georgia’s strict new electoral laws that threaten to disenfranchise many in the state. (it was once reported that he goes through 12 a day),

There was also some speculation from one Twitter user as to the location of the former president’s new office with the suggestion that it was in a hotel room at the Mar-a-Lago resort given the style of the carpet. The side tables are usually low and are similar to the nightstands in the luxury suites to be nightstands.

I noticed that instead of being on the desk facing towards them so he can see them and enjoy them he has dozen or so photographs on a table behind him, all lined up like as if they’re at a rally. There is his late father, Fred; his children, Eric, Ivanka and Don Jr in London; he and Barron in New York; his late mother, Mary, an oddly cropped headshot of his wife, Melania. I have analyzed and consulted on offices and I have never seen photos placed behind the desk like that. On a few occasions, an overflow of photos are on a side desk but still in view. Here they seem like a sign of status that he has a family.

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