I
suggest in my programs that people write down how they think people perceive them
with a long list that includes things like, "Shy, happy, kind…." Then
write down what their actual behaviors are under all the categories like, "I
like to arrive 15 minutes early to all appointments, or I run about 15 minutes
or more late everywhere I go, I go straight
to my desk in the morning and don't stop or make eye contact, I like to wear
baggy comfortable clothes. Then look at just the list of behaviors, and beside
each behavior, write how other people might perceive it, such as arrogant,
lazy, uncaring, or unprofessional.
I
also coach clients to do what I call "Check-ins." I teach them to do quick
check scans up and down their body surroundings to see how others might
perceive them. Whether that's a glace in the mirror before going out, an
assessment of how you and your zoom box may appear to others by creating your
own Zoom meeting and doing a check-in before a critical company Zoom call or
check-in from toes to the top of your head to note important connection cues
such as where your feet are pointed, if your knees are crossed, if the palms of
your hands are showing, if you are making eye contact for longer than three seconds.
